Part of not specifying at work is also because I’m curious what I’m perceived to be. I don’t get those data points if I go giving any hints out.
It's for science!
Precisely!
It's so odd to me to think of genders, but non-bianry people makes a lot of sense to me. I don't see the need to constantly go through out my day worrying that my appearance or behavior doesn't align with some stereotype, and he/she/they are just words to me. Both trans and cis feel the need to constantly reaffirm their gender. Like a deep insecurity that they won't be treated they way they'd like, but I really don't think alpha males or whatever will grant you what you want. The real change is choosing to be who you want, not the label itself.
I wouldn't generalize trans (or cis) people like that. I'm trans, but feel no pressure to conform, I chose to be the unique person that I am. That person happens to dress and look feminine, and enjoy some things that are stereotypically feminine. She also enjoys plenty of things that are very much the opposite. I am absolutely choosing to be who I am and who I want to be, and that person happens to align with many cultural norms. Every other trans person I know is similar. I've run into people saying things similar to your comment, with varied levels of severity, all relying on the same essential misunderstanding.
Some people whose gender doesn't align to any societal stereotype seem to believe that this is because of some enlightenment they have found, and that anyone that conforms to those gender norms must be insecure or brainwashed. What they fail to realise is that their gender just happens to not conform, and that for many people their truest self just does align with the societal norms to some degree. Those norms did not arise from a vacuum. To a large degree, they're "just" a social construct, but social constructs reflect an average of the realities that society experiences, shaped through a lens of social pressure, class, culture, and other filters.
I highly recommend you read "Who's Afraid of Gender" by Judith Butler. It's a great look at what gender really means, why people present the way they do, and what "performative gender" really means. All gender is performative, fundamentally. This is not to say that it's obsolete or inferior, but simply the nature of gender itself.
You sound like you may be apagender. Same. It pisses me off to no end that society has such rigid gender expectations in the first place. Let people express who they are and stop demonizing them, damn it!
Apagender is a new one for me. I was eyeing agender, but I don't quite "feel seriously enough" about it. I thought of it as "eh-gender" before. I'm socialised male and comfortable being addressed as such, but I attach no value to masculinity. I'm a human, can we get on with more interesting parts of me?
One time, I was referred to as "young lady" on account of long hair (and on a spindly teenager, my physical sex wasn't obvious at a glance). They were quick to correct themselves and apologetic, but it didn't bother me the way I get the impression from strongly cis" people, nor elicit the kind of gender euphoria I read about in trans spaces. I was more irritated about the correction and apology wasting time when my train was about to arrive.
Apathy is probably the best description.
I still like eh-gender though.
You actually sound like me. Long hair, condstantly mistaken for a girl growing up, "eh-gendered". I am straight, but us sexual preference really what makes me who I am? I definitely like the term and am stealing it.
On that topic a lot of languages don't even have gendered pronouns. In Turkish he/she/it is just "o" as example.
It makes sense too. Imagine how weird it would be to have "heightened pronouns" after how tall you are or "colored pronouns" after your skin color.
It's just not necessary.
In polish, you have three genders (masculine, feminine and neuter) but most people don't use neuter for people because it sounds wrong and rude
Also most objects are still masculine or feminine instead of neuter
I know it's common practice for everyone to list their pronouns, out of solidarity and to normalize the practice, but a part of me can't help but wonder if that doesn't cause that part of the UI to be super easy to tune out, as it's "useless" information most of the time. If any UI element shows exactly what someone is expecting 95% of the time, what would cause them to pay more attention and notice when it doesn't? It's not like we have settings to make it flash or change its colour right now.
all seem lighthearted, nothing to call HR abt, but still
That's a tough one, because you don't wanna be the fun police, but also, it stings if people don't take it seriously, but if you raise a fuss it might backfire and it sucks that it's an issue in the first place
I've listed my pronouns under my name in my email signature, and that has cut down significantly on the number of people misgendering based on my first name. It's not an obscure name at all, but the female version is way more popular and there only a very small letter separating the two versions, so a lot of people hallucinate it.
Work is the great equalizer, the tedious dance we endure.
Not worth being out at my work
Just another fake reason to fire me that can be used at any time. -_-
Just love that my survival depends on maintaining a work-sona that doesn't make anyone uncomfortable due to me existing 🙃
Is this not just part of being on the rainbow at this point?
IMHO some people just don't want anything to do with all the categorizing, starting with boy vs girl. That's not really a choice quite yet, so they ally with LGBTQ+ so that it might become a choice someday.
A shade in my employer's waking dream. I conduct myself invisibly. A fan of reprimand and the new man in the room. I'm queer in a way that works for you. Baths - Human Bog
Not guy as in he/him but dude as in whatever.
A comment is a meme now?
Everything is a meme always