Melania humiliated as UK premiere of her movie gets single-digit ticket sales
4mon 19d ago by lemmy.world/u/Redditsux in politics from www.rawstory.com
That's because it's a bribe, and not a documentary that's supposed to make money, lol.
"I’d be amazed if box office gets reported on this title," one industry insider told The Mirror, adding that the film’s distributors might be paying a fee to cinemas to screen the movie, an established practice known as “four-walling.”
Documentary filmmaker Stefano Da Frè, who was not involved in the film, told CNN that "data-driven" Amazon would not have invested that much expecting to lose money.
“With all their tools, all their AI, Amazon Web Services — they didn’t just come up with that number randomly,” Da Frè said. “They believe, through their metrics, that it’s worth that amount.”
40M is nothing to Bezos, and it's a good investment if it wins him a few favors from Trump.
Really depends whether Trump can handle the humiliation.
Personally, I was eager to see it and super pumped to finally learn more about this fascinating and enigmatically beautiful woman. But while I was waiting in line with hundreds of other culture lovers, George Soros came strolling along and paid each of us a thousand quid to go and watch something better instead. So I went and saw The Smurfs and got pie and chips. I hear he's going to all the cinemas with these bundles of cash. Him and Obama, who was doing the cinema on the next street.
I bet if you posted this on truth.social, orange monkey would re-tweet you.
Do it!
There is a downside. You would have to sign up for truth social.
SOOOORRROOOOOOSSSSSSSS!! gestures angrily at sky
Without an /s tag I wasn’t sure if you were serious or not. /s
It's our resident @floofloof@lemmy.ca. A bastion of sarcastic wit that only a true Canadian can provide in our time of need!
Tap for spoiler
This is not /s. floofloof has like a +75 upvote rating from me! All love for our peace loving neighbors to the north!
Trump gets doctored reports that say it's a tremendous success
His brain is so mushy that he’ll either hallucinate its success or completely forget the movie exists by next week.
I like to think that Donnie knew it would bomb.
Melania has been treating him like garbage for years.
This way he could get a little money and have petty vengeance
Melania has been treating him like garbage for years.
Not sure if serious.
If true, then she’s right because he is absolute garbage
Back in 2017 she refused to leave New York and join him in the White House.
It's widely reported that her bedroom is on a different floor.
On January 6 she was as far away from him as she could get.
There are plenty of photos of her refusing to hold his hand in public.
Rumors abound that she was sleeping with her security staff
I don't consider her a 'victim,' because she'd met him before they got married. Two terrible people who hate each other
He can always just throw her under the bus. He's had plenty of practice.
With narcissism, I think their goal is always both. They deserve the bribe and the adoration, in their minds
It shows a really quite astounding lack of self awareness to even think that it's worth having a premier in the UK.
Had she been even remotely aware of how we (I'm from the UK) feel about her husband over here, she would know that this was inevitable.
Her husband is universally despised in this country. Even by the Right.
She should be despised too, she's not a victim.
Easy there. Reform dipshits love him.
What about the far right though?
Some on the far right praise him, yeah. That's true. "Universally" was my use of hyperbole.
The vast majority of UK residents despise him though, to the point that any political leader coming out in support of him would effectively be killing their career. Hence why Nigel Farage is dancing around the topic like maypole.
If it gets them a new tax bill or something, it'll be worth billions. Trump is the cheapest presidential bribe of the last 100 years, and that's just because of inflation.
“With all their tools, all their AI, Amazon Web Services — they didn’t just come up with that number randomly,” Da Frè said. “They believe, through their metrics, that it’s worth that amount.”
Having worked at Amazon for a couple years this is the most hilarious thing I've read.
If someone L10+ wants something to happen its gonna happen metrics be damned. Lemmings will fudge numbers and just make it work. For all the bluster about LPs and such it's a very top down culture and what VPs and above want they fucking get it.
What’s an L10?
TL;DR it’s a way of indicating VP level positions at Amazon. It’s someone really high up the chain. To put in perspective Andy Jassy is an L12.
Longer answer. At Amazon every position has a level. I was a software engineer so that’s what I’ll speak to here but these apply to non engineering positions as well.
L1-3 are non engineering positions.
L4 is junior engineer
L5 is mid-senior IC (individual contributor) and the lowest rung for Engineering management.
L6 is Senior IC and middle rung for managers.
L7 is Principal engineer and Senior Manager. For context only about 1-2% of the company ever get this high.
L8 is Senior principal and Director level management.
L9 you skip because that was Bezos’ level and everyone just doesn’t use it.
L10 are VP level management. You occasionally get an IC this high when Amazon wants to poach talent from another company but generally this is reserved for management.
They believe they’ll get something back out of this via corruption for sure.
I think ultimately Trump will blame Amazon for messing up the movie defeating the whole point of the exercise though.
Amazon should have let Ellison’s companies make it because the backlash won’t have been worth it.
As you said, it's only worth that amount as a bribe. Paying Trump directly would definitely be a problem if we had a functioning Supreme Court and Congress (or if he were a Democrat), but why not make sure that bribe has a thin veil of deniability by wrapping it up in a pretty package that's labeled "Movie."
Apparently you can just give him a Rolex and a gold bar and it's all good.
He’s half right. Bezos is getting what he paid for. He couldn’t care less if anyone sees that movie.
That’s because it’s a bribe
You misspelled, "public money laundering".
Well said.
Now that's a shirt that goes hard!
this comment has more viewers than her movie
Worldwide even.
Isn't it an Amazon film, not Netflix?
Netflix is streaming it.
They're really not. It's just now being released in a theater. Not only that but it was paid for by Jeff bezos and Amazon. So why in the world would you think that they're streaming it on Netflix? When in all reality it's going to be streamed on prime video and not watched by a single person except for bots trying to raise the view count.
That commenter just says things assuming people won't check. Note the name and you'll start seeing inane takes regularly.
really?
No.
The book is ALWAYS better.
It's that the one the writer made free for a few days to make it show up when ppl searched melania?
Yes, it is. When I read about it, it was the fifth result as per the comments, when I searched for it to "buy" it, it was already the second result, so, it actually was working :)
Yep
Wait is she supposed to be a floating torso?
It's so you can't grab her by the pussy.
It’s a Manananggal, a Filipino monster.
I read it yesterday, don't regret it.
Melania is a manananggal? Melananggal?
This movie was just a trump bribe.
Amazon didn't care if it lost money. They gave 25 million for the rights to melanias story right to trump. A legal payout. So they spent a few more million on a failed movie.bribe was payed
You can choose the seat yet take one on the side??
I think that might literally just be a broken seat.
I would take one closer to the exit.
I'll be in the wheelie bin out back. I'll tell you how much fun I had when they emptied the hairy food scraps that'd been trampled into the floor (collected from other film screenings of course) onto me and you'll be jealous.
If you think you might want to leave early, more polite not to disturb the other patrons. If there were any other patrons, of course.
I dunno how you get a whole movie out of her story. What is there to tell?
-
Eastern European model
-
Sleeps her way into the family of a rich asshole
-
Has baby to secure long term seat at the dinner table
-
The end
That's a story everyone has seen play out 1000 times already.
Illegally worked in the USA too.
Why would someone be humiliated that their money laundering scheme is laundering money?
You people don't honestly believe she gives a shit, right? And you certainly must recognize this movie as just being a grift, and that it wasn't made with the intention or expectation of being successful, right?
Please tell me you all aren't that fucking blind.
Yep, it's just like all of the "bestselling" books the right "writes". Real people don't actually buy them; the PACs buy them to funnel money into the pockets of the subject of the book.
It's not money laundering, it's a corrupt bribe.
I also believe that above all else, this was a money laundering scheme.
That being said, I feel like there was a part of her that was hoping this documentary about her life would be revered as incredibly interesting and a work of art. Like, single digit ticket sales is incredibly bad... I don't care who you are - that's gotta sting. And that's hilarious.
Why would someone be humiliated that their money laundering scheme is laundering money?
And why is there wall to wall clickbait headlines about the Melania movie to begin with?
Please tell me you all aren’t that fucking blind.
I read she made $30M from the film - that's pretty shockingly obscene compared to all the big tech innaguration bribes - of "only" $1M.
I'm certainly not forgetting, but in the interest of brevity, I decided not to detail out the hundreds of different ways Diaper Don has been bribed or otherwise fleeced his loyal idiots.
It can be both.
Breaking: Hitler's bride isn't popular
No shortage of Chuds who were horny for Eva Braun. But I've seen far more slashfic of Sarah Palin than Melania, even now.
Idk what it is about this generation of MAGA, but they're way less into jerking it to their (female) fascist overlords than they were 16 years ago.
It's because she's an immigrant and speaks as if she landed here fucking 2 weeks ago.
Be best.....
I mean, she's a fashion model by trade not a stage actor. She can still sorority girl posse with the best of them. But then she opens her mouth, and you get a sorority girl tier of conversation.
Melania is way below sorority girl tier.
It's not that they wouldn't goon for the modern Eva braun, the problem is that melania is 40 years too old for the MAGA incels
Did the shitbag Hitler make a film for Eva?
What the fuck is possibly the content of this movie?
How to pretend to have a headache so you don't have to sit on the mushroom again?
Melania's early career as a queer-baiting wannabe porn star?
The story of the first mail order bride to become first lady?
The story of the last occupant of the East Wing?
Where to find Dick Tracey's haberdasher?
Melania’s early career as a queer-baiting wannabe porn star?
Wouldn't those films sell better? Assuming she actually did any.
Oh she did, I'm referring to various things in this post but yeah she did some queer-baiting photo shoots as a model.
No shame in being gay or even being "gay for pay" or a sex worker or any of these but she and her husband are vile, trashy hypocrites and are trying to dismantle rights for LGBTQ+ people. So, I think it's worthy of ridicule.
I do remember a nudity scene involving Donald Trump in The Apprentice.
It'll be 90 minutes of her servicing guests at Epstein Island, then 30 minutes of legal threats that she is not now, and never has been a prostitute.
Some people are so poor all they have is money.
Sure. Humiliated all the way to the bank.
And luckily she didn't even have to have sex with a monster this time to make these millions
That you know of
Hi, I'd like to withdrawal the $38 from my ticket sales please?
Surely the only people buying tickets are teenagers who want to have sex in an empty theater?
Probably. The movie is so damn repulsive I wouldn't be near a cinema playing it.
I'd agree if I didn't think that every single part of the movie would vaporize every bit of libido in a 2km radius.
"Paradise Alley" was pretty good for that, back in 78.
Don't ask how I know.
I won't ask. I was of the generation that still had drive-in movies, and if I did some extra work on the house, my dad would lend me his late-50s Cadillac, with a back seat the size of a double bed. Cinemas were a distant second-best. The only challenges were keeping the seat clean and dissipating the smell of pot smoke.
Single? As in <10??
Yeah, its reported to be a whole 3 people in Londons "flagship" theater venue
Easy there. It’s the Vue Islington, hardly the Odeon Leicester Square.
i am absolutely giddy. i have seen middle school film festivals sell better.
UK cinema chain Vue's will premier "Melania" at 3:10 p.m. at its flagship Islington theater in London, but so far only one person has bought a ticket and just two tickets have sold for a 6 p.m. showing – undercutting President Donald Trump's hype claims
"MELANIA, the Movie, is a MUST WATCH," Trump posted Tuesday on Truth Social. "Get your tickets today — Selling out, FAST!"
Lmao, one person… probably a critic who has to watch it too.
He probably doesn't even understand that movies in theaters are not "while supplies last" and there is no need to act fast. "Sold out" doesn't mean you won't be able to watch it next week, it even increases your chances to do so.
Supply might not last long, though. I wouldn't be surprised if theaters pulled it early.
On the other hand they're probably getting paid to show the movie anyway...
Yeah sure, he's probably right that those who wanna see it should hurry to get their tickets. Just not because they risk sold out screenings.
Let's be honest. The only people who are seeing it are people who want to make a video about how awful it was.
Who would have thought?!?!
Why wouldn't anyone want to know the story of a vapid, valueless, and brainless model who married a mentally deranged piece of shit who wants people like her (Not "born RIGHT-WISE") violently removed from "his" country? MADNESS
Trump purchased her from Epstein
I'd believe you if she wasn't so fucking old
Oh that made me laugh
I almost feel bad for her, then I remind myself she's a terrible person
She’s an Einstein Genius™ Visa holder!
Honestly do not understand why it’s in cinemas. At least if it was streaming only they could just lie about it’s viewership figures and stick it at no 1
I hope they both got refunds
Probably not from the theater (would be hilarious though) but since I would imagine they were online reviewers they may have been paid to watch it, which is close!
That be great if the were paid to watch it and still asked for a refund.
Rotten tomatoes reviews... totally not bots.
teriffic
Guess who wrote that one
His name is STEWART and he is NOT a bot. Real guy, terrific guy, he does a lot of great stuff. Does a LOT more than some of the other people there, you know the other kind. DONT buy into the Left's brainwashing! THANK YOU for your Attention to this MATTER!
--JOHN
Jeez, I sure hope they are bots. She has been a complete non participant when it comes to doing the tasks a First Lady does. Outside of her "I don't care..." bullshit, she's just done nothing. Well, except consistently try to weasel out of all attempts by her husband to touch her, anyway.
On the movie's (real) IMDb page
Have you noticed that Melania has no displayed star rating or reviews. Has any movie had those things hidden before?
Well now they did 😂
Hilarious.
UK cinema chain Vue's will premier "Melania" at 3:10 p.m. at its flagship Islington theater in London, but so far only one person has bought a ticket
So Barron is in London right now?
“We licensed the film for one reason and one reason only — because we think customers are going to love it," the Amazon MGM Studios spokesperson said.
Karoline Leavitt has got a new job then I reckon?
The world would rather watch paint dry than watch a documentary about a pedophile protector like melania. Glad it failed miserably.
Why would anyone in the UK want to see that film. Even the biggest right wing flagshaggers don't seem to care.
Does she have family there?
Not that I know of, but right-wing flag shaggers can be very strange
UK is doing Denmark and the rest of Europe a solid here. They're being the black cop at the Capitol that baits the MAGAs away from the congressional chambers.
Pffft, she lost the capacity to feel shame or humiliation decades ago when she got involved with the orange child rapist.
Christ, Melanomia could shit herself on live TV, then rub it over her face and that would still be less humiliating than marrying that obese tangerine toddler.
And next a documentary about the non-release of the Epstein files…
Just another grift... She got 28 million dollars from Amazon for this. I'm willing to bet she doesn't give a fuck about ticket sales.
I hope it makes no money, but becomes a sort of Rocky Horror Picture Show esc group viewing phenomenon with audience interaction out of pure mockery.
Arrr be sure to give as little money to the creators as possible me hearties
The loser, Nigel bought one of 3 tickets.
He probably bought all 3 to fit his inflated ego.
Typically, documentaries do not do well in the theatre. Still though, this makes me happy. There are almost 8 billion people on the planet more deserving of a documentary about their lives and thoughts than this woman.
They made two different Steve Jobs biopics that both flooped
As everyone expected but her
She's one of the least interesting people I've seen, so no wonder nobody is interested lol
Epstein traffic victim who came out of the collapsing Eastern Bloc and got passed around Paris/Italy high society for a few years before being turned out by NYC real estate tycoon Paolo Zampolli to sell high end Manhattan units?
She was the fly on the wall and the floozy in the sheets for a parade of corrupt plutocrats. If you wanted a real tell-all about the seedy back end of high society in one of the world's richest cities, you could do a lot worse than produce a Melania biopic.
Not what this movie is about, of course. But she's definitely had an interesting life. How many US/EU presidents do you think this single woman has fucked?
Wow. The fact that she's so evil and distasteful that no one even knows or cares about that is another kind of impressive.
Each to their own I guess
Lazy of amazon to bribe trump with a dumb movie and then fail to ensure some tickets were bought to pretend anyone showed. Its one thing for the right to be corrupt, but they go on to always try to be corrupt and do a bad job in executing the grift. They even suck at sucking.
Yeah, seat-fillers aren't that expensive relative to the cost of the film. Unless someone in Amazon wanted to get the message out that the only reason they did it was to kiss the ring.
She says the movie shows her philanthropy.
Now I'm really curious about watching the movie. Philanthropy and Trump are mutually exclusive words so... How?
Maybe she snuck onto a boat to destroy some giant robots.
Why is that documentary in theaters? When was the last time a documentary was in the theaters? This whole thing is strange... Oh, it's just a bribe.
It's in theaters so that it would be eligible for an Academy Award, which opens up a different avenue for bribery
There are documentaries in theatres, they just aren't marketed much. I saw a holocaust documentary in theatres a few years ago
This could be the perfect first date movie though. Assess your compatibility with prospective companion(s) by the quality of their roasts and, if nothing else, have a good time while ruining the evening for MAGAts who are there to worship their idol's crush's stepmother.
Maybe when it hits prime. Rather not give them the money in theaters.
Watch Rocky Horror instead
“Doh-naeeeld. I vant a movby abvaut me. “
Her life is a joke so that tracks.
It got a whole digit? I'm surprised...
A hole digit, 0.
I would have humiliated her for FREE.
Where is DOGE when you need it?
humiliation. must get off on it. pattern seems to follow her ever since she answered the ad for epstein island modeling opportunity.
I don't care, do u?
Vanity project that nobody wanted.
She's married to Donald Trump. She doesn't know shame.
I don't think someone can humiliate you, you can only let yourself feel humiliation.
And I don't think I've ever seen Melania feel anything except disgust with her husband and general malaise.
This movie can contain the Epstein files and we wouldn't know about it.
That would've been great advertising.
But then again, it could feature Trumps dick pics and the name of the real Luigi, and I'd still not bother watching it, because Melanie is soo despicable boring.
Even that was a waste of time and money
Not for her. As "writer", "producer", actress and for right for use her image she made $30 mil in 20 days from this
Oh no, boo hoo. Get fucked, people have real problems.
Humiliated my butt. This was a payout.
Attention whore finds out.
I saw that Wired had some article about "here is where theaters are sold out" for this movie...
So, is it like… is it a documentary on how to fuck your way to the top?
Those ticket buyers are probably only going in the hopes that it includes scenes from here modelling days.
She got her bribe. I doubt it the rest of it matters to her.
She's no Eva Peron.
I saw Craigslist ads wanting to pay people to go watch it, 50 bucks.
I would to get 50 bucks, but since it's required to actually stay and watch that crap, I won't
You could take a book with you I guess.
Sure. That’s what we are calling blatant money laundering.
Lmao
Trump declares war on UK in 3 2 1....
If trump were able to count backwards, we'd be in trouble.
Shit. I was looking forward to a new Stargate.
I saw the movie, it's basically 90 second clips of her peeling away old people's Depends©, wiping off the excrement from their limp diks and going to town, cleaning up, and attaching a new Depends©. Fk this white house hore
not into bondage but want to see all those coconspirators perp walk in leg irons and ball-gags.
Let them eat popcorn.
Let's sail the high seas. Already paid for it with tariffs 🏴☠️
I dunno, that free price seems pretty steep for that shit. Pretty sure I'd need to be paid to subject myself to it.
Some people are so poor all they have is money.