I'm starting to understand myself a little bit better these days.

I work a job for a brainless fuckwit who thinks a single google search can replace a skilled network engineer. I'm just about ready to walk out and let them find out just how well that would work out for them.

My family is completely bonkers. Father's an ultra far-right maga nazi. My mother is a bible bashing obedient enabler. My sister is a new wave hippy 'artist' who hasn't held a job for 20 year that refuses to speak to me because I joked about her friends doing psychedelics.

I'm too old to date, useless if I DID find a way to GET a date, and not interesting enough to hold a conversation on a date if I did, unless the other person wanted me to rant about the state of things for hours and somehow enjoyed that.

My old friends have either married and had kids, gone completely mental, (One was such a gun nut that they pointed one of their guns in my face) moved away and lost contact, or died.

I have 2 'friends' who I chat with on Discord. That's what I'm reduced to. Two people who enjoy joking around with me but probably wouldn't like me IRL.

I'm in North America and every time I see a lifted truck with the DPF removed, blasting silt out the 7 inch tailpipe with at least 1 TRUMP bumper sticker on it, I get a near unbearable urge to find the nearest bridge embankment at high speed. I never do and you don't need to give me resources for mental health, a psychiatrist, or 'prevention' resources, so don't trouble yourself with that.

If alien craft came to earth, I'd race to the nearest one, stick my thumb in the air and scream GET ME OUT OF HERE until I went hoarse.