the guy gets to fuck_ai...
6d 22h ago by lemmy.ca/u/slothrop in fuck_ai from lemmy.ca
maybe it happened
Bruh how daft can you be 🤦, this lady dodged a bullet
I dunno, I mean I think AI is stupid too, but she could have gave the guy a chance. Explained that she didn't like AI and the use of it, and valued creativity over it. Dating is already so stupid, like you have to be on guard about every little thing.
Makes you wonder what else she's this defensive about? Wore red instead of white, boom this lady is gone. Like Pepsi instead of Cola? She's outty. Maybe it's him that dodged the bullet...
To me, someone who doesn't even care about planning something as simple as a date, it's an indicator they won't care about most thing in the relationship and will try to ChatGPT their problems away.
I mean, the parameters for a first date are generally pretty simple and low-key. It's generally type-of-food (lunch, dinner, coffee) plus type-of-activity (walk, movie, game-of-some-sort (bowling, axe throwing, whatever)). They're using AI to accomplish a pretty simple task. Which means they're also likely to offload harder tasks as well. I am not your mom, your secretary, your PA, your maid, your cook, your housekeeper, your personal shopper, etc, etc.
If they need assistance with something that simple, then she successfully dodged a bullet.
So did he for sure.
She’d probably expect him to take an active role in participating in their relationship, shudder.
Hahaha, good luck getting dates with your slop generator!
Yeah if you just aren’t paying any attention.
Yes but the purpose of the date isn't just to go through the motions of a typical date. It's to get to know each other. I expect a person to suggest a place they like, and that tells me something useful and opens the conversation.
Suppose someone suggests trying a new (to them at least) restaurant on a date? I guess that communicates something sordid.
It says they're adventurous and it says what sort of things (at least food wise) interest them. It also potentially indicates a vibe. "Hey, I've been hearing that an izakaya style place opened up, and I don't think you can go wrong with beer and fried food, you want to try it out?" Compared to "I've heard really good things about Ethiopian food, but I've never had it. Want to be adventurous?" Or "Let's grab a coffee. Here I'll look up small coffee shops a reasonable distance from both of us." Or even "Do you like Mexican food? I'll see what options are nearby."
All of them say different things about the person and all of them are great ways to propose a plan for a date
Your t h e r a p i s t
I mean maybe. I could see that to be the case, but it might also just be something sort of innocent. I tend to try to see the good in people when I can.
... Except the woman that made the post?
Can you please just stop? No one's a victim here.
Of course it's innocent. He didn't try to hide it from her. That doesn't make it any less of a red flag.
And that's fine. What are your thoughts on going home and screaming about it on social media and trying to farm that virtue?
A woman writing a post on social media is screaming in order to farm virtue? You sound like a little incel removed.
You took like a tiny morsel of something, and just cranked it to 11. Please remove me from whatever timeline you are on, trust me we have zero in common. Our paths never need to cross again. I dont like the serially traumatized.
Cry more, incel.
That's not what an incel is junior
I guarantee you, old timer, this guy is involuntarily celibate.
Nah, now he knows for next time. The point of a relationship is to get to know the other person, not the soulless imitation of whatever bullshit this program scraped off the internet.
Ok but that's also quite absurd. Have you ever googled anything to get an idea or used a GPS program when you were lost? That's just about tantamount to that, I think he's just someone that's probably nervous and looking for ideas, wanting to impress a girl he's interested in. There's no need to turn this to 11 over something so innocuous.
I disagree wholeheartedly. She saved herself from a very uninteresting person.
Personally I find people that go home, make some sort of soapbox post like this (that also sounds sort of made up), and grandstands to farm the outrage highly unattractive. That gives me a lot of "look at me" energy and vibes. So I mean if this guy's like me, then I'd say both sides dodged a bullet!?
Yeah, I suppose!
Oh man, your mod history is exactly what one would expect from a nuanced take like that.
Congrats on the consistency though, don't often see dedication like that these days.
Could be a troll acct, judging by the username.
Hahaha, did Cgpt form that opinion for you or did you shit it out all by yourself? Either way, congrats on putting your pants on today, big guy!
If someone needs/wants to use AI to do extremely simple things like plan their date activities, that's a good indication that they are an exceedingly uninteresting and unengaging person overall. They can't even do the simple things, so the hard stuff in life is going to be insurmountable and they'll be a massive burden on their friends and partner(s).
Where's the incentive to "give them a chance" in this scenario? The books at home are the better option by far.
This reminds me of when I was a teenager, spending time chatting with multiple people simultaneously on MSN Messenger and AIM (man, how did I manage that?)
There were some people who'd just say, "I'm bored." That's it. I never knew how to respond. I usually said something like, "Oh, that sucks." But their conversations never went anywhere besides complaining about boredom, so I usually stopped talking pretty quick. I get the impression they were just looking to have me entertain them somehow, despite putting no effort into making it worth my while. Bruh, I'm having three other conversations about fascinating topics, catching up with a friend living in another continent, and participating in a group RPG, all without anybody whining that they can't think of something to do. Step up or step out, your boredom isn't my problem.
A lot of people seem to engage with dating with that same energy. You match, they write "hey", and then wait for you to entertain them. A lot of social things are garbage-in, garbage-out.
A huge portion of the apps is just that. And I get it it's awkward and it can be boring having the same conversation over and over. I sometimes am guilty of it too.
But I suspect a lot of people don't really actively engage with stuff enough to be able to be interesting. I've seen people blame consumptive hobbies (as opposed to productive ones), but hell tell me about the TV show you've been watching or the video game you've been playing. If you're consuming it in a critical manner you can say "well I really like what they did with the villain here, it really touches on the theme of [x], though I think sometimes the messaging is inconsistent". Or "Oh yeah I really love these mechanics, it's been fun watching the series evolve". Fucking hell tell me what you think about a YouTube video you recently watched. I think some people basically disassociate into entertainment.
But yeah chatting without a prompt can be difficult, especially when not face to face. Getting to face to face relatively quickly is something I generally recommend people do while on the apps to minimize it. But also like, actually interact with life and the other person.
It's kind of hand in hand with our age of glut. Take Netflix for example, I can sit there for an hour, not actually watch anything, and just endlessly scroll through stuff, because there's too much. Its the same with these dating app things, like people cease to be people and instead are just menus and choices and things essentially. It's turned us all (myself included) into vapid empty beings. I just don't think we are meant to be as connected with each other, as we are today. I don't think it's healthy for our long term prosperity.
I don't think this would be the same as that. It's one step before that. It's basically like saying I'm looking at this persons status and name, and making broad assumptions without ever actually talking with them in any sort of detail.
Now if they went on the date and then the person was using chat gpt or whatever for everything, or using it constantly, well then yeah that would be pretty dumb and a bit more tantamount to your example.
Sorry but you seem to be arrogant about how sociable other people naturally are. Good for you if you had many friends to do interesting things with and never felt bored, but I find it hurtful that you think not having those traits is to be shunned. You don't owe internet strangers entertainment, but is it such a crime that you need to rant about it decades after the fact?
Edit: Wording
The trait to be shunned in that is the trait of pushing your entertainment off on others.
When someone's entire engagement is "I'm bored", the unspoken follow-up is "entertain me". This generation loves to go on and on and on about "emotional labour". Well guess what: that unspoken "entertain me" is, get this, emotional labour.
Perhaps the people who say "I'm bored" should be told what I was told when I was single-digit aged: "There's no such thing as being bored, only being boring."
You're reading malintent into an innocent phrase. They could be subtly asking to be let in a friend group or just venting. There are many ways you could respond to such a sentence besides giving them entertainment.
If you don't have the slight bit of emotional availability to engage with them just don't. It's cringe to then go ranting about the time a boring person dared engaging with you and you stopped talking to them because you had so many friends.
Edit: To make my point clear, it's not that one has to engage the person in question. But focusing on how doing so affects them without a hint of understanding that it's the other person clearly in need of something is an indication of their own emotional immaturity. If you help someone in need you can brag. If you don't because you don't have the resources to help nobody can blame you, but you don't get to be upset they asked.
They didn't ask, is the point. They just said "I'm bored".
I never had many friends to do interesting things with. I talked to people online when it was still new and shiny, and I was a teenager, with the energy to socialize in a way I sure can't today. It was a different world - sometimes people would make a group MSN chat with a number of people and we'd just get to know each other through those mutual friends, who lived all around the world. Rarely did I have a group in person to do things with. I spent a lot of time alone, cultivating my own interests and skills. I didn't "shun" anyone, I just had to choose how to spend my limited time and energy after school. Would you rather talk with someone that responds to your ideas and thoughtfully considers them, or someone who brushes everything off just to come back to saying, "I'm bored" no matter how much you try to engage them?
It's also strange to categorize what I said as a "rant." I was reminded of something from the past and I mentioned it in a comment that was along the same lines, remembering how I felt about it at the time. That's hardly a rant.
I understand, I see that you had no bad intentions. As an asocial and regularly bored kid myself (even if not in this particular manner) it just made me sad that I might be remembered by people in a negative light even decades later
Aww, I understand. I was an extremely awkward kid myself and have had those worries. If it helps, most people don't recall the minutiae of our uncomfortable moments, if they remember anything about them at all.
Also, I still value the person who told me he was bored all the time. I wouldn't have kept him on my friends' list if I didn't. I don't talk to him today, but that's because of diverging life paths and the distance it creates. If we'd still lived around each other, perhaps we'd still be in contact.
Either way, I try not to worry about what people thought of me as a teen. I've grown, they've grown (hopefully), and if they did then I imagine even they look back at their teenage selves and cringe. You're not the same person you used to be, and you should be proud of the strides you've taken to come this far. ♥️
That's all quite different. Been there done that, dropped out. But judging someone over a petty thing like this is petty in itself. Maybe he's not even a fan of AI, just thought it would be a cute idea to fly by her. Had I received an info sheet on my wife's background and beliefs, I would never had responded to her.
I mean no one can force you to do something you don't want, or can force you to have a certain opinion about something. But the difference here with you, I would assume anyways, that a) you didn't make this up like this person probably did and b) you probably wouldn't feel the need to go home and get on your soapbox and put that person on blast on your social media for it. That's kind of stupid when you think about it. What if that guy or gal reads that? Great way to put someone down and hurt their feelings.
It's a rough way to get that lesson for sure, but maybe he'll learn for the future. If you coddle him then he'll never learn.
How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle? Effort wise it's about the same and you could make the same argument on their reliance on Google/Internet.
It seems that Internet dependence has become accepted as the norm while AI dependence is still new enough that there are people who don't regularly use it and thus feel superior for their independence in this one specific area.
It doesn't even matter if AI or not. The point is, if you're too dumb/lazy/busy/whatever to come up with an idea yourself, at least don't tell your date that you are.
I guess not, hey?
What do all us unoriginal people do then? Just curious? I mean dating in my day was a movie or a walk somewhere with a Starbucks or whatever. This was before texting and dating apps though. We definitely still struggled with this question, and I feel like I probably bored the shit out of a few girls. No doubt about it. Some of us are just boring though.
You're probably being too hard on yourself, but the obvious answer is "Get a personality".
Honestly the listacle is a bit cringe if you're at an age where most people can be expected to have been on a few dates. There's a huge difference between searching for coffee shops/museums/whatever else in your area or even "things to do in x area" and searching for first date ideas. The former says you have a structure in mind, but you don't necessarily know the specific locations, the latter says you have no idea and didn't think the first source to ask is the person you're going on a date with.
And as for llms vs general internet use goes? Yeah using llms is a turn off. I find the ability to write for oneself and process and analyze text for themselves important traits in a partner. What I've seen from llm users is that they often cede those skills.
How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle?
If I was about to go on a date with somebody and I said "Okay, I did a Google search for date ideas and I found a listicle" I would expect to be ghosted, too. Probably preceded by some hilarious laughter.
It's not, but people just want to be angry and climb on soapboxes.
If someone makes a judgment call on something so petty as this, that's an indicator they're a picky pain in the ass. God knows what she will next find offensive.
Misogyny described as pro-ai propaganda? Why am I not surprised
That's kind of my thing here too, and she seems pretty smug about it (if it's even real - people exaggerate on social media). That would be a major turn off for me anyways. I've been off the market so long that I'm not even sure I'd ever be able to do this successfully anyways - the apps and all the other bullshit. Dating was hard enough in my time, let alone that noise.
Why does someone likely in their 40's need to give someone a chance, particularly someone that thoughtless?
I'd say she already gave him a chance - she said "yes," after all. He was so close, he just needed to use his own brain and put a little personal effort into planning the date. He could've even been honest about not knowing what to do and said something like, "I'd like to have some of your input to make our plans. I was thinking of a movie, but there's a museum not far from me. The park's really nice this time of year, too, if you'd prefer to be outdoors. Do any of those sound good to you? Do you have any ideas to add?"
I mean, that's what I'd do. It's not hard to think of things if you know a person a bit, but if you don't know them well enough yet to know what they'd like, that's okay too! Make it clear you want something you'd both enjoy and turn it into a discussion. No AI is going to know what she likes better than she does, so just go to the source.
And if that's too much effort, then perhaps dating in itself would be too much effort.
No one owes anyone a chance, but one should take chances. This is Dating 101. If someone rejects me over some petty issue like this, they're going to reject me later for something equally petty. And dating gets hard as we age and take on baggage from past relationships. I only drew the line at MAGA, racism, shit like that. Hell, my wife still attributes some of my thoughts and actions as if I'm her ex.
And who says he was thoughtless? Maybe he found the idea cute and wanted to fly it by her? He's likely not in a social group that hates AI like we do here. Had a date propose we meet at the antique/thrift mall. One could take that as she's poor or cheap or whatever. Her reasoning when we met? "People on first dates shouldn't spend money on each other until they catch a vibe." (My words, hers were better but I forget.)
tl;dr: Too much room to misinterpret someone when you first meet, especially before a first date. If they seem attractive enough in the ways you seek, give them a chance. You owe it to yourself, not them.
I'll just say that dating changes as you age
It sure does, and you come with lots of baggage. I'm quite sure her closet has just as many skeletons as mine does.
Well aware! I was dating hot and heavy at 49-52, been there, done that. But we should be aware that our aging assumptions and baggage can hold us back. Take a chance or die alone, whatever floats one's boat, that's their call.
What ever floats your boat is absolutely correct, this man did not float this ladies boat so she nipped it in the bud.
And I'd argue it was the likely the best case scenario for both of them (making a couple assumptions)
AI is a little different than coke vs Pepsi dude but sure.
There are for sure things where you can know you’re not compatible with someone and being dependent on AI can be a pretty big flag. It’s not her job to fix him just so he’d dateable.
It’s not her job to fix him just so he’d dateable.
This, right here, bold and in lights. Women coddle men too damn much.
For me, I'm enough against the casual use of AI that someone who does what he did is like someone who has significantly different political views than me. AI data centers take obscene amounts of energy and water. I'm very much in favor of, for instance, machine learning applications being used to identify diseases in pathology slides. That's something that can help humanity to an extent that it's likely worth the resources. But to suggest plans for a date? That's nauseating.
It's also an opportunity to take the time to explain that to someone then. Your points are all valid, don't get me wrong. But what's changed in the world, is everyone just immediately heads for their position or stance, and then feels the need to defend it like it's a blood sport. It's why we are in the state of the world that we are in, and I think it's mainly social media and really bad powerful interests that's done that to us. Only those folks win when we get like this. Explain, rationalize and get to know people, and their side. Appreciate their side and have an honest debate/conversation then. Some people are just pieces of shit, and there's no getting that to them, and I mean maybe that's the case here too even. But figure that out instead of just jumping off a cliff and assuming, right?
I personally would probably tell the other person why I'm cancelling on the date, yes.
And while I broadly agree with your point, the fact of the matter is that we have become very polarized, to the point where often discussion is pointless. For instance, I'm just not going to bother explaining my views on trans rights or immigration to someone wearing a MAGA hat. That's an emblem of someone who has become so entrenched in views that are the opposite of mine that is not worth discussing. Likewise, I don't care to hear anything they have to say on the matter.
Fair enough on the MAGA hat stuff. You can't rationalize with people that are that polarized. I'm not 100% sure that's the case here though, that this person would be that far gone, I mean we'd never know from the very little we do know, but hey I mean you are free to make your decisions rightfully wrongfully or otherwise. And you shouldn't feel guilty or any weight or burden for making them for the reasons that you do.
I also meant to add just maybe don't scream about it on social media and farm the outrage and virtue, like this person seems to be doing. That changes this from someone making a choice, to someone making a choice and making entertaiment/drama over it. Two different things.
No one has to do anything or is obligated to give someone a chance at the early level of dating implied in this image. At that point, you are interacting with someone you do not know and it is socially acceptable for either party to end things clearly if that is what feels right and comfortable for them. AI usage is not some simple ethically clean topic akin to choosing a favorite soda like you claim, and it's weird that you even tried to compare those things. Having strong opinions on that topic, or any other major controversial topic, and choosing not to engage with someone due to differing views on that topic, is fine and expected.
You claiming dating is stupid, that you feel defensive about it and have to be on edge, and then victim blaming the woman in this scenario for doing nothing wrong all come to together to paint a really unhealthy picture. I sincerely hope you can work through what you have going on and, if you so choose, find someone right for you that makes the relationship feel rewarding.
I think we spotted the slop-gobbler here.
Don't like...rational thought? I don't like AI, which is kind of the whole point of this sub, isn't it?
I also don't like when people jump to broad exaggerated conclusions over something stupid. It's not like the guy was making her an AI sex bot, like even as much as I hate AI, this is basically using it as Google. Which would be fine, that's about the most it's useful for (and marginally at that).
No. No use of AI, which unnecessarily pollutes our only livable planet and consumes our limited supply of freshwater, is "fine".
You do realize it's probably some reused script from somewhere. This whole freshwater thing is also an exaggeration. This whole AI delusion is just that, a delusion. It's a bunch of hype and salesperson bullshit. It won't get to the point where we lose all of our freshwater, this bitch is about to blow from a bubble perspective. Then it'll just be on to the next shiny toy, from an investor standpoint. Watch this next part!
If he had said "I did a Google search for a bunch of date ideas" would that have been acceptable? No, of course not.
Cogsucker.
How am I a "cogsucker?"
You're symping for the slop machine.
All use of AI is bad (except medical stuff if you're just too poor to see a doctor - bad idea, but if it's all you have access to, I won't knock you for it) and any use deserves to be socially punished.
Holy shit medical is one of the worst uses
Yeah but if you literally can't afford to go to the doctor, you'll take anything you can get.
Have you ever been in that position?
I have symapthy for it, but searching the internet is also free, and isn't a bullshit machine
Many Americans can barely read. AI can speak to you. It sucks here, I know lol
Yes the system is incredibly messed up. Still doesnt change how Doctor AI is not good care. It is dangerous.
.....how do you get that, from what I have said??
I see reddit users have showed up to Lemmy now. Because this is as logical as that rat nest of noise.
I think she made how she felt about AI pretty clear. Now, if there's something about him that still attracts her, then yes... give him another chance. Absent that, have him hit the road. Don't ignore such an obvious red flag unless you have a damn good reason.
Man you have angered the anti ai people
I guess so!
They almost seem to be as delusional and out of touch as the ultrapro AI people, honestly.
You think it's delusional to hate an ultra capitalist program, which scraped the entirety of human knowledge for free off the Internet, and now people are unloading the most basic human interactions to an unthinking machine that just makes realistic replies, despite them being wrong 60% of the time?
Hmmm..
I just don't use it. I also don't like many other things, but I don't get borderline psychotic over it. Holy fuck is this sub hysterical. I'm quite anti AI myself, but this is something else
It's literally giving people brain damage and unveiling schizophrenia in some people who use it. Its accelerating our ecocide. There are lots of reasons to actively hate it.
It started out as an anti ai sub where you could often at least discuss things, but now? If you're not thinking AI == GENOCIDE you are obviously too stupid to breathe 😁.
Makes me think of the Luddites, rightfully angry about something (job loss) but missing that it's here to stay no matter what people do (for those who don't know, they hated (automatic) looms and burned them to the ground, to no or little effect).
Remember that Lemmy, and this sub in particular, is absolutely rabidly anti-AI. It’s like the Jellyfin vs Plex thing dialed up to 111
Uhh yeah the name of the sub is fuck_AI, who would've think people here hate AI for what it is.
Bro why the fuck are you here?
I'm anti-AI too, but this is kind of absurd for sure. It's like anything else special interest I guess. If you type I like four strokes and don't really miss two strokes into a dirtbike sub, those people all get like this too.
Agreed. Not liking LLMs is fine (and might make for an interesting discussion topic over dinner!), but this is petty. She was looking for an excuse to reject before being rejected, or maybe wasn’t very attracted to him to begin with.
It would kind of seem that way to me too. If this is even real, social media is wild for people just absolutely making shit up and then making themselves the victims of their own imaginary bullshit. I've come to hate social media as much as AI, even though I'm hopelessly addicted to it just like everyone else. Glad I didn't grow up in a world where I had to date with all this bullshit and noise.
A response of "in that case no" is 101% the correct response. Un-fucking-real.
So he learned to just not mention it next time
CAN people who use AI learn? I haven't witnessed such an event myself.
AI might advise him to not mention it
might
Yeah but chances of him just copying shit straight from gpt into his conversations is high, so I doubt he’ll fool anybody.
Something tells me this dude lacks the self awareness to do that.
Hopefully
Three years ago when ChatGPT was starting to trickle down to the boomers, I was at a wedding where the brides father held a speech. It was the most generic nonsense I have ever heard and at the end he proudly said that this speech was written with ChatGPT. He wasn‘t even embarrassed.
My dad just used some form of AI to hallucinate a "song" for Mom and their anniversary. He got real mad when I said I didn't want to hear it. Both Mom and I have degrees in music and play an instrument or two. He still couldn't figure out why it mattered.
How is your dad married to your mother for that long without picking up that self expression comes from a human being? It's like a fundamental aspect of art.
Tbf most people don't define music as self expression.
If you create a song, or any piece of art, that's self expression. Especially if it's to commemorate something/someone important to you. You're literally expressing how you feel about the subject.
If you got a machine to approximate something, that shows you recognised that the effort would be meaningful, and didn't do it. Poorly drawn crayon art would be more meaningful.
From the artist's POV, I understand. But that's just not how the average listener perceives it.
Nobody says that.
Nobody bothers to
Oh man, that hurts to read
Oh wow jfc
Ok, that's insane. If you don't have enough feelings or love for your child to write a speech for their wedding... Then don't give a fucking speech at all.
Wow, he put such a great effort in planning the perfect date
Biggest mistake: showing her you don’t care.
If you want to win anyone’s heart you gotta be vulnerable, put in some effort that comes from within yourself. And that’s scary, because making the wrong choice can backfire.
But flat out saying “have some fancy schmamcy chatgtp on the house ma’am” is the equivalent of “personality? Me? Nah.”.
Using AI for stuff like this => IS <= disgusting, most people just haven’t caught on yet.
I'll go a different direction here: what you suggest for a first date is an opportunity to show how cool you are.
I went on an amazing coffee date with a woman where she took me to a tiny coffee and chocolate shop that was amazing. Sure, most of why the date went great was that we clicked instantly and chatted for hours until we really had to go and that we both found each other very attractive, but the setting set the stage, I just don't think it would've gone as well in a Starbucks.
My first date with my wife she took me to the only lesbian bar in town then the next morning brunch at a popular cool taqueria. I remember thinking how she seemed so cool and in touch with the cool and fun parts of a city I'd been interested in since visiting occasionally in college.
I've had multiple great first dates to just local Mexican restaurants, followed by a walk in a park. They tended to be with women who had families and thus limited time and money, that too is personality. It involved the collaboration of "hey do you like mexican?" And when we enjoyed the meal, "there's a park nearby and I still have time, want to go for a walk"?
All of these served as ways to show some personality and to establish a baseline for what you think a fun night out with your partner could be. The first girl and I didn't enter a relationship because life got in the way shortly afterwards, so I can't say how it would have gone. But for the moms, yeah dates were typically a cheap meal, a cheap or free experience, often involving walking, and constrained by the fact that their kids and husbands (polyamory not cheating) were their top priorities. With my wife, just as that first date, our nights out together often involve a bit too much at a queer bar followed by hours upon hours of talking and maybe a meal at a cool but cheap restaurant before or after.
If you use chatgpt to decide on a first date plans I'm going to assume that 5 years ago you were the type to have a first date at fridays or applebees. And not because you really liked it, or thought it was a good value, but because it was a sit down restaurant nearby that you know is good enough and most people are fine with. It says a night out will be bland if anything, and probably the bare minimum. Fucking hell, asking "so what do you like to do for a first date?" is more interesting and charming than that, it at least implies that you're either very considerate or looking for a partner to take the lead or make decisions.
You also should show a bit of yourself. Your own interests, preferences, etc. An AI cannot help with that, unless you are the AI.
If someone wants an AI dinner date, they can make that up themselves.
At worst, just outright ask them if you're unsure, to see what they might be into. They'd likely appreciate the thought.
It's like Facebook chat asking if I want to summarize a conversation with my friends with AI. Mf'er, I spend time with these people because I enjoy it. Why in the hell would I want to run my conversation with them through a slop filter?
BooM Goes The Dynomite
Just curious. I realize this community is probably the wrong place to ask, but how would you feel about someone using AI to brainstorm some date ideas but still doing the actual selection and planning themselves (and not bragging about using AI as something to admire)? To me, it doesn't feel too different from doing a web search of "date ideas" and working off whatever lists you get.
Dates should help you get to know each other. They should be things you already enjoy doing, or places you like to go, or want to see if you like. Expressions of who you are.
Asking the AI at all is a large part of the problem because it screams you have no personality and no preferences and think dating is some Hollywood romcom style big showy thing that it's not and shouldn't be. Every happily married couple I know goes on simple dates and always has. You shouldn't need a list of date ideas. Period.
My wife and I went to her favourite restaurant for our first date, our most recent date was walking through a bookstore and showing each other fun covers. One of my best friends, his first date with his wife was just hanging out at a local park eating sandwiches and their most recent date was learning to make pierogi together. Things we enjoy or they enjoy. (Married about ten years for reference) Every happy couple I know has similar stories no matter how long they've been together. Even my 22 year old cousin.
If you need a list of date ideas. Just write down the stuff you like to do, or want to try. Done.
Anything bigger should be a special thing with someone and it should be special to you and your partner and looking for a list of other people's ideas is the wrong move.
Okay, thank you. I'm autistic, and social activities are very challenging for me in general, so it's genuinely helpful to have examples that show the expectations can be low.
No worries but I should clarify a little bit though.
Expectations can absolutely be high but the key is to find someone with the same expectations as you. I do know one couple who's first date was skydiving and their wedding was a destination ski trip. The key is that that was who they both were before the relationship. Either one of them would not last in a relationship where dates are coffee shops and bookstores and such. It's not "showy" relative to their usual selves.
If your idea of a good time is visiting the local gardens, and your date likes butterflies, then you've got a first date. If your idea of a good time is a rock climbing gym and your date enjoys editing together videos, then build your first date around a GoPro and a climb.
The lady in the original post met the guy in an art class, her expectation was probably to go get a coffee and visit a museum with his favourite local painting or something that they could talk about. Nothing fancy, just an expression of himself.
Thanks again for being willing to provide all that. In my defense, I did say expectations "can be" low, not that they always would be. It might be a moot point anyway. I'm still working out earlier steps.
Then just do the ned search if its not so much diffefent?
Well, I'm not saying it excuses anything, but there are still differences in interactivity, personalization, feedback, summarization, etc.
telling a date that u use a chatbot to decide is lame
Using the chat bot to make your plans in the first place is even more lame.
So, use a computer for ideas but be dishonest?
Just talking with someone the other day and in the conversation they said “I asked ChatGPT…” about something being discussed. I immediately ceased to give weight to their input. Either they thought they were flexing by namedropping AI or too lazy to do their own thinking. Either way, they instantly lost me.
I tried AI again the other day, just for a yearly check in. Gemini's Pro model was more apologetic than ever when it changed the basis of its narrative SIX TIMES in seven prompts.
I was simply asking it to describe the counterweight mechanism in a piece of common machinery. It changed from industrial gas struts, to no support and being too heavy to handle, to two large springs (correct), back to no support but now because it's feather light, and so on. I simply kept asking it to stop fabricating answers and to verify from a parts diagram, the URL for which I provided. Its apologies and explanations grew longer and more elaborate each time.
We had good laughs, but sorry about the power and water usage.
had a similar thing happen with something pretty simple I had to contact my bank about. After about 12 tries of it not understanding I finally got a human who got it in the first reply.
Yeah I have all the LLMs through work, so every now and then I'm like wtf let's give it a shot, I need to do a super fuzzy search over a large semantic area and why what do I have here...
Number one, it saps any little bit of joy I might have taken out of work, and two, "speaking" to it makes me feel insane. Like I'm talking to the world's most polite gaslighter. And it's so confidently wrong all the time.
I'm fine just loading up my squishy human brain with context and then executing, but increasingly its getting harder to parse online docs (including internal!), articles, and other resources, because they've been slopped up by a process that doesn't actually understand anything it's generating.
Nah, fuck that guy. Even I’d avoid using AI for planning a date because she isn’t dating the AI. Also, it indicates he’ll use her. Definitely avoided a bad apple.
A colleague of mine is trying to run a tech startup - some slop based AI garbage for healthcare. He's a parent at my kid's school. The school has been doing a pasta dinner fundraiser for over 3 decades. This dude is one of the heads of a PTA type group. This year he made the decision to bake the pasta instead of boiling it because he asked chatgpt how to make pasta for a lot of people. It came out fine, but it saved 0 time, and tasted just as mediocre as the year prior. Why would you contribute to the environmental destruction and waste of electricity that is AI just to ask how to fucking cook pasta? He went on this whole rant about how he would have never had such a great idea were it not for AI. The man is clearly part of the problem.
All that the AI will have done will be to have pulled the information off some website. You could have just googled this and got the same result.
or gone to DDK or Ecosia or the other search engines
Heaven forbid you pick up a cookbook!
Do you have any good cookboks about cooking for large groups? I'd legitimately love to add one to my collection. There's definitely a different approach needed for it than every day cooking or even dinner party cooking
Id look for something specific to catering
I do actually. But it's very very old and it goes on about things like tapioca pudding and instructs you to put lard into everything, and all the instructions are in Imperial units except when it instructs you to put in "some salt" or a "moderate amount of lemon juice", and you just have to guess, so a certain amount of mental rewriting is required.
It's for cooking school meals for kids. I think it was written in the 1950s and I don't think it would include anything as exotic as pasta.
Do you mind sharing the title or a pic of the cover? My wife actually collects old cookbooks and that sounds like a birthday present she'd love
I'm always suspicious of tweets where the author defeats a strawman but this followup post has me pretty convinced of its inauthenticity
No, I have literally never done that. I have never once in my life confused the two lol
Does this guy think he's being cute? As if he's up for the adventure of spinning the roulette wheel and go where fate takes them? He obviously thinks his cognitive offloading is going to be well received somehow.
I think he's just deeply insecure. He's not sure what to do, so he asks an LLM. Then he's not sure that's what she wants, so he asks for her input too. They don't seem like a good fit for each other, so probably for the best to break it off early.
If the LLM makes all your decisions you can also just blame the LLM for the shitty date plans. It's cognitive offloading but it's also offloading any responsibility for them as a person.
This shit is making me feel crazy. Between COVID, AI, and now being met with young adults that just do the "Gen Z stare" - I don't feel like I'm living with humans anymore sometimes.
Gen Z stare? That's a new one on me. What is it?
Exactly what it sounds like. Ask asking a simple question or trying to do small talk with a stranger; and they just stare at you like you like their brain is "buffering".
God damn. This is the term my wife and I have been looking for. I know everyone is dealing with their own shit, but that dead-eyed stare in the face of simple questions or observations is one of my biggest gripes with talking to folks 'out in the world'.
Yeah. I didn't coin the term. Just an Internet meme. I don't think it's really fair to pick on Gen Z in my opinion. I just think they get attributed to it more often. It's more of a "post pandemic stare". Like, I really think isolation and long COVID symptoms did something to our society.
Sometimes I have to ask myself "am I invisible?" when I'm looking someone in the face saying "excuse me" and they just stare like a robot. Like, they don't even have to say something. I'm literally just trying to pass them in the aisle they are blocking. It's kind of creepy. I get this as a 6'3" guy with a deep voice too. It's not like I'm hard to see or hear.
Hah. This is so fun. When I mentioned this interaction to some friends on another platform I mentioned that it isn't even majority Gen Z doing it, but some chunk of all age brackets. But also that 'gen z stare' just sounds good.
I agree its a term that definitely let's people know what you're talking about without having to explain it. It's a common experience and the term fits well in describing it.
I understand the sensitivity of young adults in disliking the term though. My generation had "fail-ennial". Both are placing blame on the generation so the elder generation doesn't have deal with the worsening material conditions the new generation faces. "Millennials just don't want to work hard". "Gen Z is socially isolated".
It's simple explanations that direct blame onto the individuals of a generation so we don't have to address the material reasons that make it so common.
Huh. Apparently just not a thing around here. Cool cool cool.
He obviously thinks
We have proof of the contrary.
Maybe? Never done such a thing on a date? Invited randomness to see how you both navigate? I never have a plan after the initial meeting. Just meet up and roll, open plans, no obligations. Much as I loathe AI, a ChatGPT suggestion might be amusing. Either party can kick it back, but it might give me a new idea. (Which is about all AI is worth in my life, prodding a thought I hadn't had.)
EVERYTHING is open to misinterpretation when you meet online, especially before the first date, and even more so the older we get, what with baggage and such. The hard line in the sand looks like: MAGA, racism, stupid, etc.
The judging in this thread has me wondering if any of you have dated more than a person or three. Perhaps all humans should be on the same page regarding AI? Be nice, but it's anything but real. If you reject me for this one minor item, what's next? And what's next? Next?
The judging in this thread has me wondering if any of you have dated more than a person or three. Perhaps all humans should be on the same page regarding AI? Be nice, but it's anything but real. If you reject me for this one minor item, what's next? And what's next? Next?
Maybe it’s just more important to others than it is to you. I’m a vegan married to a butcher, because we can disagree about even ethical questions and still be a good partnership. I wouldn’t fuck with someone who brought out AI like this, because I want a partner who’s present in their own life. It’s not petty, it’s a selection criterion, we’ve all got them, and most people’s don’t line up exactly.
The hard line in the sand looks like: MAGA, racism, stupid, etc.
Is it worth it to hand a tech giant additional information about and control over such a small aspect of your life? How much water was used for your queries? Where did the data processing happen? What does the drinking water in that town look like? Every choice we make has consequences and for a lot of people, being that thoughtless about your own choices is equivalent to stupidity or MAGAdom.
How about the water waste animals are responsible for? Would you have dated him if the first thing you learned was that he chops up dead animals for a living? AI is unethical, but killing animals, with all the ecological damage done is a thing you can put aside?
And this guy is thoughtless for using AI? I have a project for you. Walk down the street and ask random strangers what they know about AI. No leading questions, only this open question. (This is my prime annoyance with lemmy. Everyone here assumes the wider world knows what they know, and if they don't act in accordance with what we know, they're morons. FFS, most Americans can barely read.)
It was one of the first things I knew about him, yes. I was a vegetarian at the time, and he worked behind the butcher counter. He encouraged me to go vegan and I encouraged him to do his apprenticeship. Now that he’s nearly finished (final exam tomorrow!), he’s going to work for a vegan butcher shop. The water waste is awful. We do however get something out of it, making it not a completely pointless expenditure of resources. People have got to eat, and where I live, the tide is turning on meat products about as fast as I can imagine it going, but one of the better ways to facilitate that is to have a butcher who can tell you about how to make seitan without being judgy.
Why would I care what people on the street think about AI (I’m not going to ask people, because the last thing I want is to talk to strangers about AI, and people here would think I was trying to sell them something if I just approached them on the street)? I probably wouldn’t want to date them either. This guy might not know about the downsides, but does he just do things without thinking about them or learning what their downsides are? Would he be just as willing to try other new things without doing research, like renting electric scooters? Maybe he’s just lazy? Maybe he just thinks robots are cool and he doesn’t care to think about drawbacks, but does he also think cigarettes are cool? I don’t want to date someone with any of those qualities.
I suspect most people on lemmy would also prefer their partner to be able to read above a sixth grade level in their native language, or whatever the cutoff for that statistic is. That’s not because people on lemmy are unrealistic, it’s because lemmy is primarily text based and its users are not a representative sample for all literacy levels.
The hard line in the sand looks like: MAGA, racism, stupid, etc.
So you're saying you agree with the woman in this story? 'Cause using ChatGPT to plan a date is already profoundly stupid, but to then TELL her that you didn't think enough of her to actually think for yourself is even dumber.
She rejected him without question, but YOU know all the context here. And this is why memes manipulate our opinions. There are no real facts here, only her word and your assumptions. But this whole thread has spun a story!
Who rejected you that has you so invested in this story, dude? Seriously, get over her, try to figure out why you were rejected, and fix it. You don't have to be an incel all your life.
Jesus fucking christ we're far gone
The guy might as well just go around with "Moron" tatooed on his forehead.
On the other hand, it was very considerate of him to lay that out so early.
True. Could even be seen as a mature way of approaching relationships.
As I see it, they both won from finding the mismatch of expectations so early.
Kudos to him for it.
LOL I wouldn't be surprised a dude used an LLM to plan a date, there are some low effort people out there...Kathrine succeeded at protecting her peace, with books and snacks as a treat!
I think its unfair because most people have no clue how AI is toxic.
They have no idea how ChatGPT works, because that's how its designed. They use Google Chrome and Facebook Messenger.
I mean, look at this lady. I tried to find this post, and found she's got a blue checkmark on Twitter. Does she know how Twitter and its like have screwed over the world?
In 2025, apparently she did not.
...Perhaps someone explained it to her.
I'm just saying, people aren't perfect, including her. She should at least texted the guy back and see if he's open to discussing how awful OpenAI is.
She owes the guy nothing. Plus x notoriously grandfathered in power users of Twitter in order to keep engagement up. She could have gotten the checkmark for free.
I’m not saying she owes him anything. But if she was truly interested in him, she could have at least explained why she was, rightly, unhappy with that reply.
Maybe he could have changed.
I guess it’s a personal peeve of mine, but I’ve seen miscommunication and “cold shoulders” pointlessly ruin lives. I always think it’s better to at least try communicating, as people aren’t omniscient. They can often do better if you tell them what’s going wrong. Maybe this guy would drop ChatGPT like a rock and get into a serious relationship with this woman, but now they’ll never even have the chance, and he’s just gonna keep using ChatGPT.
EDIT:
Plus x notoriously grandfathered in power users of Twitter in order to keep engagement up. She could have gotten the checkmark for free.
This is true.
Still, glancing at the page, she was a Twitter power user as recently as 2024-2025.
Must bought Twitter in 2022. And even under Dorsey, the writing was on the wall way before then.
I sure as hell wouldn’t want that in someone I dated.
…But I wouldn’t immediately reject them over it, either. I’d at least bring it up first.
If a cold shoulder can ruin your life, you've got personal issues to work out before your even ready to consider a relationship, imo.
Thanks for doing some sleuthing, I appreciate you putting in the footwork.
Honestly if a girl said that to me, I'd tell her why I was bailing, but I also believe communication is key to a good life. I'd still bail though, lol.
That’s what I meant.
I’m overwording it. But I think it’s important to say why one bails out.
True, but those are just personal beliefs for the both of us, we wouldn't owe it to the other person, just as this lady doesn't.
Thanks for the back and forth, by the way.
but I’ve seen miscommunication and “cold shoulders” pointlessly ruin lives.
It was a date. I'm sure he can find another one.
From an earlier comment: She owes him nothing. She owes it to herself to take a chance. If she proudly draws the line in the sand over such a petty thing? What next? And next? NEXT? JFC, before a first date, draw the line at MAGA or racist or whatever. This could have been a beautiful relationship, but one snotty assumption derailed any chance. I've dodged that particular bullet a few times, including with my wife. Hell, she could have wrote a resume about her beliefs and experiences and I would have certainly refused that first date. And I have never been so in love.
she's a femcel just look at the posts. Can we stop giving these incels attention in ruining our society through their endless insecurities?
Staying on Xhitter and posting every few hours and pretending to take some sort of ethical high ground? you could burn all the tokens in maximum LLM plan and you'd never do worse than empowering a literal neo-nazis personal propaganda network. What a fucking dork.
Your obsession with femcels says more about you than it does about any of the people in this story. Take a fucking break.
…That is also not what I meant, at all.
Nah, look, you gotta understand, we have a one-sided story here with no chance for the man to defend his actions, and we're taking her word at face value. Nothing else needed to tell us all about what a wise woman she is for dodging this bullet and what a moron he is. (This whole thread is reminding why I left lemmy. Insular, snotty, know-it-all, snobby, tribal, autistic... "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." BAM! Good luck brucethemoose, I'm out again.)
…That is not what I meant at all.
I did not mean to bring any sexism into this.
Im just saying this person rejected a date over one mention of ChatGPT, with no apparent explanation to the other party, but I’m sure they wouldn’t like it if someone took one glance at their social media history and ghosted them over it, without any chance for a response.
Of course no one has obligation to respond.
But it doesn’t mean I have to like this, either. It rubs me the wrong way.
It reminds me of abusive people I’ve known, men and women, who don’t bother to communicate and just ghost the other party when they hear something they don’t like.
This feels similar to if you are a vegan/vegetarian and the person asking to go to a steak house. Yeah you are fully within your rights to tell that person to fuck off and be done with it, but if it were me I'd just suggest a different place.
Most people are eating meat / using AI because it's cheap, simple and normal and they don't really know or think about the harms. If I bring up the harms on the date and they dismiss them then I'd probably move on, but if they seemed open to them, even if they ate meat that date, I may continue to date them and try and push them to be vegetarian.
I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner, if I can get my partner to eat less / no meat then that's a good thing for the environment/animal wellbeing etc.
I don't know if you should go into a relationship with the intent to change them. You should enjoy them for them, not who you could make them.
Yeah "I'll change him/her" is just a good way of ending up with two miserable people.
A good relationship, both romantic and platonic, should be about nourishing each other to develop and grow together. It shouldn't rely solely on how they are for a specific moment in time because people aren't perfect, they change, you change and the beauty of a relationship is changing for the good for each other and developing together.
If the other person isn't developing the same way as you and you're on different paths, then it may be time to end the relationship, but to make that assessment you'll need to understand where they're going and why. That's going to require talking to someone and getting to know them a bit, not dismissing them for a single sin.
Again she's fully within her rights to say fuck off to anyone who doesn't match her standards and hold out for her true match that checks all the boxes, but if she wants to see that beautiful part of a relationship where you check off a new box together then she should give someone a chance.
I generally agree with you, but I think if you're going into the first date with notes you need to really be interested. The pre first date stage is about seeing if you're interested enough to spend the time/money on it. Too high standards can absolutely be a problem leading to loneliness, but "I'm not sure if I'm interested, but yeah sure I'll give it a shot" is a common place to be before a first date because both sides are awkwardly trying to put their best foot forward, but don't have much to go on and they don't necessarily know if they have much chemistry. If you go in no longer interested you're wasting your time because you're probably not going to change your mind.
So yeah if she had been super excited, it's silly to cancel over this. Likewise if her dating pool is small or filled with particularly bad options. But if she was just giving it a shot and lost her interest then I don't blame her.
Not necessarily change them. You don't really know who they are yet, and they don't know what you care about yet. This is more about giving them a chance to show they care about you. They can only do that if they know what you care about.
That still sounds like you're just planning to give them an ultimatum
"I can fix him" big energy
I know a great steakhouse with phenomenal vegan dishes, but like I let my friends know about the vegan quarter of the menu if they have diet restrictions that you would think precludes steakhouses.
I'm not taking a vegan to Schmidt's Palace of Meat if they don't have a decent vegan menu. I think the only vegan thing they have is smoked corn.
I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner
My wife and I have specific diet restrictions. Mine is uncommon, hers is not. She gave up the foods that would force me to bleach the whole damn kitchen every fucking day if she kept some in the fridge. Her restriction doesn't send her to the hospital but I give her the same respect she gives me and don't eat those foods at home. Likewise she gets her [food that causes me to die] and I get my [food that makes her moderately ill] at restaurants. And we don't bring those leftovers (if there are any) home. They go straight in the staff fridge at our respective workplaces. That's just what we do though.
I do quite intensely dislike going to restaurants being told oh it's fine they have vegetarian options and the vegetarian option turns out to be salad.
If anyone wanted me to go to a primarily meet-based restaurant and they did ostensibly have a vegan/vegetarian menu I'd want to look at it first, to confirm they actually have options other than all the vegetables on a plate.
oh yeah, same here. i'm poring over the online menu to make sure it's safe for me to eat, i might as well make it easy for the folk i'm inviting and text a link
The option is salad, and so often all/most of the salads have meat in them…
...a palace of meat, you say?
It's in Lockhart Texas and has a different name. Eat anywhere there and you'll be delighted
You're correct about the equivalence of meat eaters and chatbot users, but going in with "I'll fix em" is also a shitty way of conducting personal relationships.
I suppose, but the alternative is just shutting them down like in the OP.
I learn plenty from the friends that I keep. I don't think it's wrong to expect that your friends will probably make you a better person, and that for it to work, you have to contribute to that project too.
Wall of text but true and real
Mate, you ain't seen walls of text. That's three reasonably sized paragraphs. Some comments go way longer than that.
He edited it to format it im being framed, there weren't any paragraph seperations before
Fair enough then.
Still, I've seen bigger walls.
Attention span deficits hits hard these days
This sentence wraps onto the next line, I ain't reading all that, my head will explode.
#TikTokBrain
It's like 5 sentences.
We need to start putting Adderall in the water
Good freaking luck. Have you seen how unavailable that stuff is these days? Republicans fucked up it's manufacturing so bad. Most people I know are switching to Vyvanse or Ritalin with mixed results.
Relax everyone, this didn't actually happen
Ffs, are we really like this?
At least he admitted to it I guess. Still would have done the same but dating apps are infested with people using ai to talk for them and you don't realize until you notice them say something really offputting.
Clanker cucks everywhere dude
Oh no, someone used a big babble machine for brainstorming ideas! How despicable! /i
It's a good idea though. You write down 6 things and throw a dice. You'll even hear "AI" whispered in the wind.
Lemme consult ChatGST instead
whips out a ouija board
Asking Charlie Kirk for date ideas
The I Ching finally has some real competition.
It’s all the valuable input of the I Ching, plus environmental destruction!
The 易经 is way more valuable than LLMbecile output.
It actually has a moral system built into it.
AI can be pretty good at finding local events and activity suggestions. Is Googling it any better?
No, it didn't.
"Hi. I hope this date finds you well" stuff. Heh, I'd cancel too.
These people walk among us. They exist. They lead companies and business units.
met in art class is crazy btw.
Now just because both people are lame doesn't mean she isn't right. 😈
It it me or does AI reliance/psychosis disproportionately affect men? And by disproportionately I mean virtually every single one.
I don't know... Maybe not a first date but
Months into a relationship and asking chatgpt "where should we go for dinner tonight?" and going to top result could be fun. Maybe Chinese maybe Italian maybe Mongolian... Who knows, let's find out!
Just having preferences and a personality would be even better!
True depends on "I want you to feel special" or "let's have fun" type of night...
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound fun to me. Fun would be a name out of a hat, not a name that some program a soulless corporation auto generated based on an algorithm gave me. 2 types of people, I guess.
Fuck Ai for important stuff, I wouldn't trust my job to it or trust it for medical advice but something just to pick a dinner place, why not?
Does your brain work? Can you use it to make decisions and think about things? Use that instead.
Yeah but I don't know every restaurant within 30 minutes of me. It's similar to the old "im feeling lucky" button Google years ago. It may not of given the best result but it gave a result. Yeah a dice roll or picking out of a hat might work but both require knowing all restaurants and either a huge hat or a d100+ die.
Good luck with life, buddy.
You too. Glad to have had this discussion with you and not have it get into insults. We may disagree on this matter but I think you are a nice person and if I met you out somewhere I'd buy you a beer.
Awe thanks man, you seem nice yourself. I appreciate the kind words.
I actually was curious so I checked "where should I get dinner. Give one option" it responded to try "Kenny's wood fire grill".
No idea if they are good or will give me some horrible illness. But I'll find out just for fun, wish me luck that I'm not in the hospital tomorrow...
Instead, a better idea would be, especially in an established relationship is to write your partner's favorite things, activities, food places down on a piece of paper...Associate them with a number and do some dice rolls with them present! That would be fun, show that you actually care and pay attention. Instead of leaving it to a fucking soulless slop engine that might serve misinformation as an answer, to spit out an unconsidered choice.
True, but actually random could be fun. Like yeah you like south east Asian food but tonight... Let's try Greek!
True, but actually random could be fun. Like yeah you like south east Asian food but tonight... Let's try Greek!
If you want true random you need the dice and ditch the LLM; like another commenter pointed out LLMs are pseudorandom with varying degrees of randomness, that can be set by the one who created the tool in question. It's never going to be as random as basic, unaltered dice can be. A bit of human curated randomness has a lot more warmth and meaning than the coldness of a fancy autocomplete warped in it's basic function. Which a person who thinks and talks to their partner could put some thoughtful surprises in the mix easily enough. Meh, to each their own.
The dice aren't going to be meaningfully random either. The number will be random, sure. But ... the choices the dice are rolling against will have to come from somewhere.
Agreed it's not random. But do you really want random? Do you want to be told to go to Gary's apartment for a manwich? The point is not randomness, it's being random with a heavy bias towards pretty good. Same idea as a movie wining a award, may not be amazing but probably better than your 5 year old and 3 of his friends making a Sci fi movie
Ultimately, I am leaning towards human curated activities that dice rolls will decide for the date night in question (just a few so it is achievable). Otherwise, it would be fucking weird and make you seem particularly unsafe to be around. I am also advising against LLM reliance as...Even for seemingly harmless things because the way these models are set up, it's designed to get people TOO invested in them and validate their worst ideas. Given we're on Fuck AI (really they are warped LLMs), this should be a sane default recommendation to avoid using those sloppy things.
Ok, i mean I see it no different than picking randomly... What made you think I would be "particularly unsafe to be around?"
I wouldn't use llm for my job or anything important but what's the harm in this? Worse case it recommends a restaurant that doesn't exist, fine laugh and see another local place.
Same idea as a dice roll but with all options instead of a few
LLMs (and most computer applications) don't operate with true random number generators, mostly pseudorandom generators of varying degrees of strength of randomness.
Physical dice are more likely to be actually random than most computer stuff. Unless they're loaded or otherwise biased.
LLM output is also not an unbiased PRNG; it will give you a result based on the probabilities of the next word according to the model, which will likely be heavily biased towards more common values.
Heavily biased towards more common values of a particular subculture of a particular culture, in fact.
Want to have some fun? Ask a culturally weighted question (say about gun ownership) in English. Keep the question as neutral as possible. Watch the pro-gun stance take hold, nine times out of ten. Now ask the same question in a new session translated to idiomatic German. Again make sure the question is as neutral as possible. Compare the answers.
Granted they don't, but can you run a 2x10^500 die? I wouldn't trust it with my login but choice of dinner tonight....
Ghosting some poor guy who summoned up the courage to ask her out but failed at reading her mind when he was trying to make plans for the date. Art class will be interesting now I guess.
Didn't happen. No man is dumb enough to admit that.
some of the dumbest people I know are men.
Both your and their comment can be true at the same time.
only a Sith deals in absolutes.
gestures at the world in general
Are you sure, Sparky? ARE YOU SURE!?
So many fuckin men are sooo fuckin dumb what the fuck are you even talking about
Literally asked for her input and got shut down, lol, like bro doesn't need to let AI take the wheel but at least he was polite about it
He asked her what she wanted to do so he could feed it into chat GPT which would then output a date suggestion.
He basically asked her to give him an AI prompt so it could plan a date instead of him doing it.
Can you imagine a relationship like that?
"Babe I need you to make a decision, any decision that shows me you have some agency in your life that I can actually depend on."
Him: "i dont think that's enough of a prompt."
That gave me a really good laugh
Yup, he was an idiot
oh no an older person tried to do research and put in work and communicated everything but used a boo-boo-bad-bad tool.
And you guys wonder why this movement is being associated with Luddites.
It's really not possible for a person to be more clueless, illiterate, incapable of reading a sentence, and on some mind adventure that's completely disconnected from the reality the rest of us are in.
(I'm talking about you in case you're wondering, because you're clearly not a very intelligent human)
peak femcel behavior. The person clearly put in research and communicated despite using "the wrong tool". That's presumably an older person as well. But yeah eat junk at food and "read books" when we all know it's just doomcrolling into femcel echo chambers
Using AI to choose a date venue is low effort. It is not "research" and the "wrong tool."
To spell it out, dating is about getting to know a potential partner and to let that partner get to know you. When I choose a date, I share a part of myself, a restaurant I love, a movie special to me or a cozy coffee of conversation.
To be in an art class together, a museum and coffee would have most likely been the perfect first date where the asker shows the askee some of their favorite works.
To outsource the emotional labor of a relationship, especially so early on where everything is exciting and new is not a good sign, male or female. Dr. Moose, something is wrong with you that you reacted this strongly to a quippy little post.
Dr Moose is probably the man from mentioned art-class, deducing from his reaction 🤤
My best guess is that he is offended by the idea of women being happy being alone.
I have no issue with that in fact I'm very much a feminist but just like there are incels on the toxic manosphere there are incels on the toxic "man bad because small mistake, better just eat snack and entertain yourself" femisphere. It's just these cringe losers being vocal I have issue with.
What is wrong with that mindset? Male incels threaten violence to society and women. "Femcels" want to stay home and have a snack? I'd take cringe over cruelty.
drmoose is a frequent AI defender, they're not here because of femcels, they're here because a woman rejected a man over AI. xD Which is really funny to say out loud.
Ah! That explains it.
It's the same thing, an incel is an incel and the gender is irrelevant.
I was using your terminology.
oh please. How is it any different from scrolling through Google Maps or whatever other research tool? Also you assume that person in question has no struggles of their own - what if they're autistic or in general very poor at planning and need assistance? Clearly they didn't have a malicious intent even from the accusers pov and clearly tried.
To outsource the emotional labor of a relationship
emotional labor? this is first date, they hardly know each other. They are clearly older people too so this is not a highschool romance. Absurd.
Dr. Moose, something is wrong with you
sorry for calling out lunacy but all it takes for rational people to say nothing and allow these extremist lunatics to take over culture. And for the record I like cancel culture, I like social justice, I like ethics and responsibility but this is nothing of the like - this is just incels.
If I'm asking somebody out on a date I've got at least a vague idea of what that date would look like.
Great me too. I can also reach the top shelf, but that doesn't give me the permission to shit on short people. Some people have social and planning difficulties and we shouldn't shun and shame them but educate, encourage and even accommodate them especially when it was clearly a good faith attempt.
Your version of accommodation is removing the human element in the one thing that should be most human. The fact you cant see the difference between asking AI and using google maps tells me you are struggling with this concept. That you think first dates dont carry emotional weight sorta seals it.
Your version of accommodation is removing the human element in the one thing
what are you even on about? how is querying "date places" in chatgpt any different from typing in "date places" in google maps? just because you get text output instead of a visual one? it's just a computer my dude.
Oh please. Here you go assuming that a widow of 12 years has no struggles of her own. Why are you so fired up? She found ultimate love, lost it. Tried to venture out and date again and she didn't like it. She returns to her peaceful life.
Why do you need her to date her AI dependent classmate so badly?
Her being a widow of 12 years is completely irrelevant.
But the imaginary autism you concocted is?
Just asking a chat bot and then going with its suggestion is as much "research" as stopping a random kid on the street and asking them for a suggestion and then just trusting it at face value and going with it.
Sure, doing that can be a starting point for research (by actually checking that suggestion out, maybe asking for more suggestions from other sources and checking those out), but by itself it's literally the lowest effort possible thing one can do to obtain an option.
There's being cheap in a money sense and there's also being cheap in an effort sense, at that guy was definitelly putting the minimum effort possible into coming up with evening plans.
Ultimatelly it boils down to whether you're into women which expect more from a guy on a date than minimum effort or prefer the airhead or desperate kind who will take pretty much anything.
This woman being 12 years a widow is probably in her late 30, early 40s, so way more likelly to be the former type than the latter as most people get more complex and gain increased expectancies with age and, especially, experience.
Mind you, those are perfectly valid preferences either way, but they're entirelly on YOU - your preference - not on women in general. Stick to the kind you like and if you're having problems finding those, well, that's a you problem.
This woman being 12 years a widow is probably in her late 30, early 40
she's nearing 60 based on her twitter profile. If you ever seen 60 year olds date you'd know that this guy did a very good job: planned a date and communicated clearly with honesty, even using technology albeit somewhat ignorantly. This lady is clearly an incel - instead of appreciating the effort or being polite she posts online to shame the person for using a tool they don't like on a literal nazi platform she pays money to. Let's be very clear - there is no moral confusion here.
You just made my point further.
The guy was indeed honest, which made clear to her how much effort he was willing to put on finding a second date for her: not much.
She's clearly not into guys whose maximum effort to find a nice place for a second date with her is "ask chatbot".
Seems to me that "not interested in guys who put very little effort in finding the right place for a date" is a pretty fair posture to have.
instead of appreciating the effort
What effort? It literally took you more effort to type your post than it wold take the guy to ask ChatGPT and then send her a message.
being polite she posts online to shame the person for using a tool
I would totally agree with you on this if she had actually shamed him. She didn't - he's not named or referenced in her post, she didn't even insult guys that do that (unlike you, who called her "femcel" for it). She pretty much just said "some guy did this for a date and I didn't like it". Well, now people who follow here on Twitter know she doesn't like that stuff. That's all her, not some random guy nobody has any idea who he is.
What's interesting here is how you're actually raging at these specific preferences of this woman. I mean, if a woman didn't like blond dudes or guys who came to a date on a bicycle, would you also rage about her and call her some insulting names?
You seem to have weird problems with some women having specific preferences in the kind of person they'll date - What's your problem? You do you, they do they - they're not imposing anything on you but you sure all hell seem to want women in general to either comply with your views or shut up if otherwise.
What effort? It literally took you more effort to type your post than it wold take the guy to ask ChatGPT and then send her a message.
Honestly I don't think this is going discussion anywhere if you think this is "no effort" for a 60 year old planning a date. So have a good day I guess.
Hey hey hey. It's probably a smut book. So let's give credit where it's due