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Only one religion tries to convert me door to door

5d 9h ago by discuss.online/u/VetOfTheSeas in atheism from discuss.online

Good evening, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, cock?

Our Gaylord.

Can’t decide if that’s David Mitchell or Benny Andersson.

Apparently it's Robert Redford, a brief scene from this movie

Jerimiah Johnson

Pretty sure there's a chin under that beard, so David Mitchell's out. Must be Benny I guess!

Our daddy in Grindr, swallowed be your cock, your manhood come

Reeeeaach, Arrrouund.

Can I get a gayy-menn up in here?

do we gotta talk about it or do you want to just put it in my mouth?

I'm a straight cis het dude. I have never felt oppressed by gay homies. Like how hard is it just not give a fuck?

Like how hard is it just not give a fuck?

OMG you said how hard you are why do you want to fuck me you fag!?

I'm confused and horny. Only if you're down though. Consent is King.

I'm also horny and confused and my DMs are consensually open

Respectfully watches

😉

😬 Confusion and consent are a tricky combination

Jasmine was an awakening for me.

Same. And Jessica Rabbit. I wasn’t sure what was happening in my trousers but I knew I couldnt ask my mum.

Edit; couldnt, cause I did not ask my mum.

I asked your mum about what was happening in my trousers, too.

lol. It was a typo.

how hard is it just not give a fuck?

See, that's why it's so hard for homophobes to be around gay people. They want to give a fuck, but they can't handle their own social stigma so they want it outlawed to remove the temptation.

Real.

Excuse me sir, are you familiar with cock?

Quite thoroughly, yes

fist bump

You had me at "fist"

Yes, but do come in.

"omg rainbows, how awful!" - jerks with zero self awareness who are oh so mad that other human beings being celebrated

i don't care for sports but i don't get crazy upset they're shoved down my throat at every turn because that's someone else's fun

I do. My city's downtown center is being shut down during Mrs. Noodle's next chemo appointment because FIFA. Fuck that. Fuck sports. Fuck off with your stupid fucking balls.

I'm so sorry, I'm very thankful that's not here

With you 100%.

Every four fucking years I have to hear non stop about how we won it once and this year it's "coming home".

Fuck all the way off. Seriously, just pick a direction and fuck off. Keep fucking off until you get to a fence with a sign that says: "You cannot fuck off past this point.".Right there, I want you to dream the impossible dream, climb that fence, and fuck off into the sunset, further than anyone has ever fucked off before.

What about, every single football match? Every single one. People go out into the streets with their cars, honking and screaming while waving flags in the evenings whenever an even slightly major match happens. It's all you hear for the next week or two. Some take it a step further and start shooting guns around! Its also quite great for politicians because whenever a major controversy happens another fucking match happens and everyone forgets about everything. Fuck sports. Fuck your fun. Its fine if you're a dipshit sportsbrained maniac, just dont do it in front of me.

I have straight aura, and I 've been in a lot of queer spaces where people think i was the token straight, no one never tried to convert me.

But that one time the charity i was working for found a partnership with a local catholic church, suddenly i have to explain over and over why i don't need religion in my life.

Ask them about all of the lawsuits involving priests.

I have a cynical scientific aura from before 2000 that thinks talking about auras is fucking stupid. I hope it's contagious, or that every time you say "aura" unironically a fly finds its way in your mouth.

The majority of our thinking is subconscious and sometimes we use metaphors to explain how it communicates to our conscious.

Negative auramaxxing

Has a gay person ever knocked on your door to convert you?

No, but I imagine it would make a whole lot of Republican secret wishes come true.

Had a group of Christians approach me while i was looking at nail polish in an Ulta. Even after i said no thank you as politely as an angel they still insisted on letting me now their imaginary friend loved me. If anyone in the lgbt+ community acted like that in public Christians would call it grooming.

Hell, can you imagine if Muslims did that?

In the US it would be taken badly but let's pretend Muslims don't have a pushy religion as well

Its not grooming when they do it yo kids, though.

Weeeeeelllll

When I was a kid (12-13, in middle school) we shared a school bus with a local high school. One of the fellows on the bus was indeed a gay "man" (16-17 maybe), who was real good with computers, introduced me to Linux (though I wouldn't run it myself for about 10yr.) Well, I was interested in computers, and he used this to become friends with me. Over the year-or-so we hung out some outside of school, but he kept showing me (straight) porn and we'd watch it together (mind you I'm 12-13 and he's 16-17), and trying to get me to engage sexually with him, lines like "how do you know you're not gay if you never tried it" and stuff like that. If that ain't grooming idk what is, it didn't take on me but he tried so hard. Btw, this 16-17yo kept telling me about a 30ish-yo that was doing the same to him (plus feeding him alcohol and gaining access to gay clubs in town underage,) so there's an element of passing it on.

I'm just saying, male on young male grooming isn't not a thing..

And the plural of anecdote is not data

It is a data point though, and really is anecdotes because there have been multiple pushy gay men I've met.

But like, really? Woman says "men can be pushy" "yeah for sure," man says "men can be pushy" "anecdotes are not data?" Then the women's anecdotes aren't either, we sure we wanna play this game?

What was the point of you posting an anecdote like this

Are you trying to suggest that your anecdote is indicative of other's reality?

Or are you just trying to tell us about that time you watched porn with a dude

If anyone in the lgbt+ community acted like that in public Christians would call it grooming

But I can't call literal actual grooming "grooming?" Why not? What if I was 16 showing porn to and trying to fuck a 12yo girl, would it be grooming then, Greg?

Like it or not, gay people can do bad things too, just because I'm not The Truman Show™ doesn't mean that something similar hasn't happened to countless kids. Funny how so many people care about child molestation when they picture a straight guy doing it but the second it gets a little intersectional everyone gets uncomfortable.

Fuck you for trying to minimize my experiences btw.

Lol when did I say that people can't do bad things, but go on

Well not Christians in general but a specific sect is known for doing this.

Mormons, JW. I get shit in my mailbox from random churches at least twice a week. I see way more SuperJesus shirts and sweatshirts and hoodies out in public than anything with rainbows on it.

It's mostly virtue signaling anyway, making sure that everyone knows which group they're in and if you're not in, you're out.

They have a persecution fetish. Not complex, fetish.

knock knock knock

Hello, have you heard about our lord and savious Luigi Magione?

It’s all just engagement bait.

Even responding to them boosts the bigot. It’s what they want.

Dont feed the trolls” doesn’t seem to be registering anymore, though. People simply cannot help themselves and jump in, and the platforms are juicing it instead of moderating it because it’s so (at least in the short term) profitable.

Would a gay person knock on the back door to try and convert you?

I hope he would

You ever notice that the people who talk about "shoving guy shit down mycthroat" are usually te most racist and misogynistic ones? The whole thing is because theyre afraid of being treated like they treat women and other minorities.

Nah, its just classic repression through homophobia. The concept of things being shoved down their throats secretly titilates them.

Maybe the temptation they feel is the gays knocking from inside and that's why they're mad

I have a hose hooked up at the front of the house for the next time the Mormons show up with specific details about my family.
But id make cookies if ever a mini pride parade visited my doorstep.

I wish more folks used the word: dipshit. It's in my daily vocabulary, but I rarely hear it from anyone else.

I’ll do my best, dipshit. ☺️🫶🏻

Thank you, dipshit

Why don't you two dipshits kiss?

Dipshit? Did you call moi a dipshit?

Now who's the dipshit, you jock douchebag?

You have UNO you dipshit, it came free with your fucking XBOX!

I'm more partial to assclown, myself.

I've had Mormons come to the door as well so by the Pentagon's current definition, that would be 2 religions that go door to door trying to indoctrinate you.

This is one of the things that pisses me off. A cis/straight person complaining about a gay relationship in a movie. "They keep trying to force it down our throats" while there are literally thousands of CIS/Straight relationships flaunted everywhere every day in everything everywhere. Fucking hypocrisies.

When I was 19yo, we saw a couple of mormon fellows making the rounds. My gf suggested we get ready to answer the door naked as though they interrupted us having sex. I can't remember what happened, so that probably means they didn't knock on our door. My memory is also shit due to years of drugs and alcohol plus ADHD. It would have been funny, though.

Religious knockers get an automatic, "Get fucked," from me today. The fucking arrogance of coming to my home to tell me that I'm wrong and you're right is baffling.

The saddest part of all of it is that it affected transphobia a lot, since trans women were painted as gay men tricking straight men in order to convert them to homosexuality. Bigots just realized they can divide the conquer the queer community once enough of the gays started to forget some of the details of the past.

It's not like they constantly force their opinions down everyone's throats.

They probably mean in the media portraying lgbt relationships. A lot of right wingers think it's too much. Imagine saying that to on-screen interracial relationships...

Nonsense. The real over-representation in media is step-siblings and step-parents, in the last 10 years that's all you ever see.

They do say that about interracial relationships...

And the other one skips the conversion part and goes straight to lynching and/or hanging.

Good morning Sir! Do you have a few minutes to talk about show tunes and skin care?

The only "Christians" I know that do this are specifically Mormons and Jehova Witnesses.

I guess all those missionaries who went around the world being cunts were just a figment of everyone's collective imaginations then?

Since when do missionaries go door to door?

You serious?

Since the inception of missionaries. The whole point of them was to spread the word of god around the world. Continent to continent, country to country, city to city, door to door.

They convert people, but not by going door to fucking door. In the modern day, they usually build a church and provide food, medicine, education, safety, etc and have the people come to them.

I don't think you understand what a missionary is.

All bishops are Christians. But not all christians are bishops.

They may or may not literally knock on doors. But that's figuratively what they're doing. Partly because many places they go to, people there don't have doors. E.g, north sentinel island

In the United States, the Jehovah Witness does exactly this.

I don't have a problem with them but you've never experienced this?

Every day? Have you seriously never had a Jehovah's witness come to your door?

Please tell me the last time a gay person knocked on your door and tried to convert you to being gay

July 2019, but I'd eaten her pussy a couple weeks earlier, so she had reason to think shed find success.

Genuine LOL, and shit, with this world I need all I can get. Cheers for that! 💛

Also literally last night but this one was so god damn drunk.

JW (nor Mormons) are considered Christian.

Sidebar, I had a friend who specifically went after straight guys, double points if they had a girlfriend or wife. Strange fetish and a little unethical but to each their own. But to the point, he didn't go door to door knocking. Club to club maybe.

I've been on the other end of that, and the gay guys accept a "no" thrice as fast as the Jehovahs do.

Pro tip: tell Jehovah's Witness that you used to be a Witness, but you quit. They will 180 super fast as those who quit are ostracized for life

Very true.

Oh no they do not lmao. Y'know how women always complain about men not taking no for an answer? You think that's only "the straights?" There's for sure pushy gay men that will bother you all night (or for 3mo if you're 12 and he's 16). Pushy women exist too, one literally told me "no you don't understand, this is going to happen" and like, could I have physically stopped her? Yes, but you try explaining a physical altercation with your roommates girlfriend to the police and see how that goes, eh? Easier to let her have her way with me I guess. Men at least you can fight if they do touch you.

Now, pushy gays are less common than JW and Mormon door knockers combined of course, so the religious are more frequent, but the biggest reason IME that gays may persist where the religious fear to tread is when the religious come to my door I can either politely give them SubGenius pamphlets and that freaks 'em out but good, or I can be an absolute dickhead and say edgy shit like Hail Satan, or otherwise mock their religion like "Joseph Smith is a liar yadda yadda," BUT for the gays you can only be polite when declining, if you're a dick about it you get called homophobic by people who didn't hear the other 7 times tonight that Mike has tried to peer pressure my dick into his mouth.

did he offer top or bottom?

which did the str8 guys prefer?

I'm getting an attractive middle aged gay man and going door to door selling gay. We need pamphlets.

I mean, there's definitely LGBTQ propaganda, friendly media, organizing, etc. But then there's also a superabundance of cis-het advertising, peer pressure, and the like.

It's something of a joke that the gay majority groups will express disgust and annoyance with "breeders" in terms strikingly similar to what I've heard from homophobic family.

But like so much else in American society, the thing that makes these spectacles aggravating isn't the gender or sexuality nearly so much as the relentless marketing of consumer products.

Perhaps we could find some common ground if gay and straight folks alike agreed the deluge of advertisement needed to come to an end.

Hi, gay folk here! June is mostly just cringey corporate rainbow washing.

There's plenty of fun parties in June, if you've got friends in the community.

But thanks to dickweeds like Ken Paxton, a lot of the rainbow washing has dried up and been replaced by corporate Christian Fascism.

I'm sure somebody out there has an actual political sexual exhibitionism fetish...

I do. I knock on people's door and convert them to A Gay. And I'm coming for your door too, eventually. Just you wait.

americans are obsessed with the image of "... being shoved down thoat"

When the Mormons knock on my door I just ask them to sweep my driveway

"got any example" - me

... - them

Hrm, thnx for this piece trying to convert me.

I enjoy irony.

I never had a Cristian knock on my door to convert me, just Mormons and JW

Both of those are christians

I know JWs dont claim to be...

I guess my ex JW friend is wrong or some shit 😂

That is just a Hebrew word for God. People who practice Judaism would also worship Jehovah without claiming to be Christians.

Tbf they didn't knock on my door but yes absolutely gay dudes have tried to fuck me and not taken "no I'm straight sorry dude" as an answer, just "how do you know if you've never tried it? C'mon just let me suck your dick you don't even have to touch me. You sure you don't want me to suck your dick?" It does sometimes feel like they're trying to "convert" me when they do that specifically.

That's not every day or anything though, it's only happened like 5 times throughout my whole life, mostly at bars except the one guy that kept trying to groom me when I was 12-13 and he was maybe 16-17.

So now you know how most woman feel when dudes Hit in them.

Useful insight, albeit a bit whataboutistic

I know, but I never use that card when women tell me "I could never understand how they feel" (nor do I mention the two times I was raped by women), I just let them have their (fake but they don't know that) moral high ground and pretend empathy and sympathy aren't real, they seem to like it better that way.

Besides, the times I have tried to relate to women on that, "it doesn't count" because "women get hit on every day," and being raped doesn't count because "it happens to women more," frankly nobody cares if sexual harassment, assault, or full rape happen to a guy. Hell in my area (cis)women can't even be charged with rape because legally rape requires penetration, if you tell people a woman raped you, you still mostly just get laughed at, told you should have enjoyed it, and called gay, seriously nobody cares.

Thanks for sharing that, sucks what happened to you. 🫂

Honestly I don't want sympathy (though thank you), I'm "fine," it has been years.

What I want is the "treating me like a perpetrator instead of a victim simply because of my penis" and "assuming I can never understand what someone without a penis has gone though because I happen to have one" to end. This divide has gone on long enough.

No one person can do that, of course. I'm really just hoping men like me read my experiences and feel more comfortable sharing their own (and acceptance in response like your comment helps with that, thanks again, I'm not trying to diminish it. I'm just so sick of the worsening various demographic divides in our daily lives.)

I share the same sentiment. We do not talk about and take seriously "men's problems" enough, in fact there are many times when we actively ridicule them and it is actively hurting the left. You know who is talking about men's problems (if only in a completely misguided and nonsensically shitty way)? Andrew fucking Tate. Clarification that this is not a matter of bringing women and feminist progress down, or a competition of suffering, or inserting men into women's problems.

It's gotten mainstream and therefore its cringe. Nobody likes HR trainings and iniciatives.

Your HR says stuff about religion? I just did this year's mandatory training and there was no mention. (I work in tech which is basically a cult already)

Atheism isn't a personality type. You don't need to brag about it.

people brag about personslity types??

You seem triggered

Do you need a safe space?

Ah but this is the after-pic of someone rejecting the rainbow tribe lifestyle.

Tell a religious type you don't believe like they do

and they'll simply say "I'll pray for you"..

Have you actually experience that? Like in real life? Twitter doesn't count.

https://time.com/8750/faith-healing-parents-jailed-after-second-childs-death/

They'll also pass you up for promotions or exclude you from other types of events. In the 2000's, when teenagers just started carrying cell phones and teachers didn't realize, there were a lot of recordings of teachers berating their students for, among other reasons, not being whatever faith the teacher was.

edit: Also, fresh, 5 day old account and this is how you decide to start things? How many times have you been banned before?

Has it occurred to you that you are making my point for me?

I can just leave it in your hands.

Or leave it on autopilot...

No further comment by me required.

I will block you after I have typed this response, and it'll be better for both of us. I guarantee it.

.

And yet you made a comment…

meh.

Truly said like someone who knows and enjoys the taste of their own penis.

Block me too

I think you're a dickhead

i don't think that's entirely true. when you go on instagram today it's basically impossible to not be told that toxic masculinity is ruining society and we need an anti-masculine movement as a solution to it. it does very much push this down people's throats.

Honestly that's called your search patterns and everything that you're actually doing. Because when I go on Instagram I don't see any of that stuff. It's what you're searching for what you're looking at and it's the algorithm doing its job.

Well, right off the top, that's a feminism thing, not an LGBTQ thing.

yeah ok ... still, i think it's relevant to the post. the post talks about today's movements that try to convert people by shoving it down their throat, claiming that only christians do that. so it's relevant.

Let's see..."religion", "door to door"... I can with confidence say that feminism is not a religion, and they don't go door-to-door trying to convert people.

Maybe delete Instagram and don't be a shitwagon.

You do know that instagram specifically tailors the content it shows to your interactions patterns? It adjust to trigger exactly what catches your attention. What you see is not what everyone else necessarily sees.

I've literally never seen that once. Maybe the algorithm thinks it's something you need to see?

That's your algorithm. If I go on there it's all cosplay and subtle OF pimping.

And why would I go on instagram? And why should we treat an algo based experience as a reflection of real life?

Toxic masculinity is indeed ruining society though. It has little to do with orientation

toxic masculinity is ruining society, but the way that it's treated by so-called feminists is too

You're a bit of a dick, aren't you?

not that i would know

Let me remove any doubt then!

You're a dick.

when you go on instagram today it's basically impossible to not be told that toxic masculinity is ruining society and we need an anti-masculine movement as a solution to it. it does very much push this down people's throats.

don't be such a bitch bro. take out your tampon and cry about it somewhere else, pussy.

Way to tell on yourself.