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Oh that's easy, just dream that you woke up refreshed and ready for work. It's such a relief when your alarm goes off and you realize your productive dreams amounted to nothing...

What episode is this haggard as hell squidward from?

https://youtu.be/riZuHpMFlyM?feature=shared

14 seconds in

Squid's Day Off "Have you finished those errands?"

Go to sleep earlier

it would be truly epic if i could sleep through the night without being awoken by my chronic pain

Do coke before bed so you can sleep faster