Try not pooping for 3 days. This tricks your body into no longer being constipated
Yo, didn't notice it was the same person
This is hilarious
The profile picture is super memorable to me, for some reason.
WHERE'S THE EXPLANATION OF YOUR SIN.
So I'm going to assume the no poop mission was a success.
I am happy for your achievement. Well done!
I’m utterly convinced at this point this dude is pranking us HARD. 🤣
I don't care if it's real. I laughed so hard when I read the title. I immediately knew who posted it lol
The classic way I know of is a large black coffee and a bran muffin. If you can manage to get stuck in traffic about an hour after you eat, it increases the odds of it working.
Prune juice, coffee, and any spicy foods.
You joke, but old school nurses do just that: mix prune juice, coffee, and milk of magnesia. They call this combo "The Bomb" lol: https://drslusher.com/constipation-remedy-or-the-bomb/
I'm more inclined to tell you that while I appreciate your commitment to a natural remedy, Miralax (polyethylene glycol powder) is the most effective remedy in my personal experience as a nurse. For what it's worth.
So you gave yourself constipation in order to not poop for 3 days... can you tellbus what you were doing now?
I’m so confused on this dudes post history. Intentionally clearing himself out and giving himself constipation but with access to toilets and an air conditioned tent??
This is either the biggest shitpost ever or some kind of evacuation fetish.
Shits crazy.
Let me introduce you to my girl here. 😁 Acupressure Points For Constipation
So are we going to get an explanation on the 3 poopless days?
Thanks for concluding the saga for us @mizu, it's been a wild ride.
You could try the mathematician's approach and work it out with a pencil!
(but yes, an enema and fibrebare the correct answers
Long walks and much water. Also try eating prunes.
This is the way. Oatmeal or anything with high fiber will help as well.
However prunes or are really where it's at.
There is a saying in Spanish that says: "coffee and cigarette, mud doll" xD
That's beautiful. How do you say it in spanish?
café y cigarro, muñeco de barro xD
lol thank you!
Real answer: Saline enema. Laxatives (prune juice), stimulants (coffee), and opioids (kratom) might help in some cases (actually probably not the opioids, those are likely to make it worse), but if your constipation is really severe and you want immediate relief then an enema is the way to go. You can pickup prefilled enema kits at most drug stores.
I sadly had an enema, I hated it but it did make me feel better, now I just have IBS
I'll just say that there's a reason for the old people eating prunes stereotype.
I take kratom, an herb with opioid properties so I deal with this a lot. Prunes and other dried fruits have sugar alcohols, which work for a lot of people, coffee is ok. I take magnesium and fuller supplements, so try bananas and oatmeal if you wanna do this with just food.
Oh man I also struggle with the kratom blockage. Does magnesium help? Nothing I eat seems to do it.
Some? Prune juice seems to work best
My wife swears by dried apricots. Make sure you are in a well ventilated, prefeably unpopulated space as you are going to produce some gas that will make your eyes water.
Also figs, dates, prunes - anything with a lot of sorbitol or fructans, which have a known laxative effect.
Big glass of regular cow milk.🥛
Wait for the next update. This meme cow isn't nearly through with milking yet.
Be careful though, milk/dairy can actually have the opposite effect for some people lol
Miralax! Works for my toddler. 😂
Psyllium husk.
Not the most pleasant thing to mix with water, but god damn that poopy powder is incredible. It should be part of everyone's daily habit, it's so good for you.
100% agree, it's a real life pro tip kind of thing to add to your daily routine. Also the taste is not bad at all with the flavorings or whatever is in metamucil.
It also has other health benefits like reducing cholesterol!
The Sage of Mizu continues...
The Saga?
I've seen 3 posts about this subject from mizu, and they are increasingly interesting. The one about 3 days without pooping, a second asking how you could pass gummy worms quickly, and now this one. There is definitely a story behind this.
So, did you need a poop knife?
prune juice XD trust me
"It may be used as a dietary supplement to act as a laxative. " /wikipedia
For some reason this works better when warmed to about 110F and slammed down. Maybe 8oz. Tried 16oz and remained home that day.
Anything with lots of fiber, especially darker leaves like kale. The less cooked, the better. But a warm enema can also help a lot in a dire situation.
Xylitol, one of the common substitutes for sugar in sugar-free lollies has a laxative effect, so you might be able to munch on a pack of sugar-free gummies and shotgun it out your backside.
Whether your toilet will be in a usable state afterwards is another story altogether.
Banana's, cherries, olive oil, plums
The advice is good but also consider going for a hard run. That usually helps me. There is a lot of data to suggest healthy digestion requires regular movement and particularly exercise.
Regular movement results in regular movement.
Beer
Personally, I've found binge drinking to be the most fun way to clear yourself out.
After that, lots of greasy foods will grease up your insides.
Prune juice. Just be sure to clear your calendar and plan to spend the next couple of hours near a clean bathroom.
Consume at least 2 liters of water. Consume foods high in fiber, such as vegetables. Poop on a daily basis. These prevent you from being constipated. If you are constipated, you can take a half-hour sitting bath in the bathtub 2 times in the morning and evening
Drinking way more water has helped me a lot. Where my hydro homies at!
Homies gotta hydrate!
I've heard this one before.
If you're a mathematician, work it out with a pencil.
Try beans, milk, or hot sauce/seasoning from a restaurant (you may buy some from the store, but it won't work as well in my experience). These all tend to loosen your stool to various degrees.
However, to be frank, the constipated stool will still be hard; all this will do is cause new stool to put pressure on old stool. This constipated still may still be hard to pass, although those foods should help.
Edit: Pears work too
Arby's. Makes Taco Bell shits weak mild in comparison.
Really hot peanuts help, look up your closest Indian grocery store they usually have the nuclear stuff.
try a vegetarian diet
Eat stuff with a lot of fiber, if you still get plugged up you really should probably go to see the doctor and make sure something isn't wrong up in there.
Eat 2 Kiwi Fruits a day
Raw dragon fruit is like natural laxatives
How the hell do you have a whole crate of raw dragonfruit (as in, who has it lol)? Is it related to the lore?
Damn, I had my own shit Wednesday and forgot this was going on. Glad to hear you're releaved!
Plums and kiwis
A dozen prunes and a short walk that isn't too far from a bathroom should work.
There are laxative teas that are plant based. Fruits and anything with fiber. Also try soup. If you want to go nuclear, have some dark plain unsugared coffee. Rest and light movement is essential.
If it's REALLY bad you might want to consider an enema. Just gently squirt some water up there to help soften things a bit. Good luck!
you need more fibre.
This is the generally correct answer to not get constipated in the first place. Treating it acutely, plums may help.
Coffee.
Coffee always does it for me. Regular roughage is always good with plenty of greens.
Severe diarrhoea.
Triscuits and guacamole. Make sure to increase your fiber intake slowly, otherwise you'll make things worse.
For me its milk
Cooked broccoli.
You can eat a whole bag of it, like 32oz, and it’s only ~500 calories too, which is great. I love eating it with teriyaki sauce.
Another commenter said bananas, but they always make me more constipated. Lol.
If you want to try a non-food item, I swear by psyllium (seed husk) fiber capsules. But, you HAVE to drink a lot of water with it.
Apologize in advance to your butt. I hope you didn’t give yourself a hemorrhoid.
Also, I tend to find that my gut bacteria is off after I get constipated, and I’ll have a couple days of diarrhea. Eating yogurt (with live bacteria) for the next few days fixes my gut bacteria and gets my shits back to normal. So maybe pick up some yogurt while you’re shopping for anti-constipation food.
Good luck 🍀