While I do dislike the mandatory nature of of age-restricted access, I do see a benefit. I've been part of a few servers that required (redacted) photo id proof of age. This feels potentially less unsafe than sending a censored copy of your ID and photo of yourself to the mod team of a server.

I mean it used to be the norm for games to have cheat codes built into them. Maybe you get stuck on one part and need help, maybe you have fun spawning a bunch of weapons and going on a rampage (see GTA), or maybe you just want to see what happens if you spawn a giant enemy in a small room.

I once worked with a guy who would actively remove everyone else's comments any time he touched someone else's code. Only comments he made during code reviews? "Does this comment need to be here?". The code was a barren, commentless place.

I'd like to start by saying, from you post, it sounds like you're handling this fairly well and doing a great job about communicating your need. While it makes sense that you'd want to try polyamory at the same time you're redefining your relationship with the person you were married to, both of the things you're trying to do put immense strain on the relationship. Individually, both things are going to be highly emotional and require a lot of clear communication.

Polyamory is like sex, if it isn't a "fuck yes" its a "no". I don't necessarily want want to say its hard, but it is a lot of work. Its a lot of talking about emotions, trying to coherently share how you feel about things that you may have never verbalized before, trying to understand other people's experiences, and re-learning how relationships can be defined. Your partner may be scared but he may also know that it isn't for him.

When talking about this new guy, is he polyamorous? That could stop the whole process right there. Thinking of that, and maybe the kids are calling it something different these days, look into NRE or New Relationship Energy. Many people have cheated or tried opening their relationships because they wanted a specific somebody else and when it didn't turn out how they wanted they found themselves single. If this new person wasn't in the picture, would you still be interested in polyamory? If your current partner started dating someone else and you were only dating him, how would you feel about it?

There is a lot going on, while I don't know what your relationships look like, in your shoes I would either rebuild things with my current partner and look into maybe opening the relationship a few years into the future or pursue the new guy and start things off in an open relationship. Whatever happens, I hope that all of you end up with the best possible outcomes.

A whole list? That sounds like it would take somewhere between 3 seconds and 6 hours. Who has that kind of time?

Sadly, I don't have a choice. My employer has consistently refused my requests for a 24/7 personal driver and US based public transportation is kinda garbage.

Nobody took my license away.

I've flipped two cars. The only injury I had from those two incidents was cutting my finger in safety glass due to my own stupidity. The major down side to seatbelts is that they are difficult to undo when your car is upside down. The benefit of seatbelts is that they let you complain on the Internet about how hard it is to undo your seatbelt when upside down.

I think most people who argue this either way aren't actually serious about it. You do have solid points, however.

Regardless, I will continue to argue about this point (opposite of whatever side whoever I'm talking to is taking) until it feels more annoying than fun to me.

The most important aspect is motivation to improve and do cool shit. That can, also, be said about a lot of professions. The best thing you can do is to find what is most interesting to you and spend at least a few hours a week learning about it or engaging with it. It could be new features of a language you know, a programming methodology that is new to you, learning about/contributing to a FOSS project you like, or anything else.

School and work will almost definitely force you to engage with the parts of development you don't like, as well will give you an opportunity to engage with the parts of development you do like. It's on you to keep yourself engaged and improving in your skills.