Unironically want

Took me an embarrasing amount of time to realize it's a Scrooge McDuck comic and that's Donald at the top right :D

This German expression idiomatically translates to "I'll be damned!", "Blow me down!" or "Shiver me timbers!", but the literal translation would be something like "Mice bite me!".

It's interestingly similar to an equivalent in Portuguese where we say "Macacos me mordam!", "Monkeys bite me!", which is how we traditionally translate this. I wonder if the expression exists in both languages or maybe the German comic was translated using the Portuguese version as base?

You'd think there may be a punchline, yet:

You can usually blame Android on that.

We need more OSes that support cheap phones available in third world countries instead of mid-range phones in first world countries.

Hello! We just investigated this and apparently it's Element's UI being a bit confusing to use. The screen you're seeing is a list of rooms in that space that you joined, which is none.

You need to touch the space name "Pawb Social" and then select "Explore rooms" to view all rooms in our space.

"lowkenuinely"

Actual realistic permachastity is definitely a thing you can do, it just isn't actually permanent. You need to take it off periodically.

Some people just don't really care about popular YouTubers unless it matches their interests somehow. I only heard about PewDiePie and MrBeast last year (the former because of Linux), and I still have zero interest in either.

Sure, but I've seen that expression used like that before (non-native here).

A good way to check would be to search in an English corpus.