Whoever they are, they need to eat fewer pizzas.

Hello it's me Bill Gates at rnicrosoft.com I will help you do the needful to fix your device.

I use jars small enough that they are physically unable to do so.

Dunno if it helps but I put batteries in glass jars. Keeps them from getting contacted by metal things, keeps the leaks contained.

*neighbour

I tip 0% at places where I go to the counter, order, wait, pay, and retrieve my food. That is a base level expectation, not a service or a favour.

It helps that we don't have a 'tipping wage' anymore.

I'd never heard of premade dough powder. It might be something you can make yourself though. Pizza dough is just flour, water, salt, yeast. Optionally a little sugar, garlic powder, oregano.

We do an overnight ferment then freeze the dough balls.

Strengthens the Trump comparison, yes.

I hadn't heard the Thalmor agent thing... really?

Maybe drowned in rum.