I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for 5 years. He’s kind, supportive, and my best friend, but over time I’ve become exhausted by carrying almost all the responsibility in our relationship.
We’ve lived together for 4 years, and I do nearly everything around the house while also working full time. He helps, but usually only after repeated reminders. Most of his free time goes into gaming and relaxing, and I feel like once he became comfortable in the relationship, he stopped putting in effort.
I’ve tried communicating calmly, encouraging him, giving him space, and even spending 6 months abroad hoping he’d focus on personal growth. Very little changed.
The biggest crack in my trust happened when he went to Thailand for kitesurfing and met another girl. He admitted they flirted and danced together, and I later found messages where he asked to see her again while I was asleep. He claimed it wasn’t serious, but it hurt that he hid it from me.
To be fair, earlier in the relationship I also became emotionally attached to a coworker because I felt emotionally neglected. Nothing physical happened, and I told my boyfriend immediately.
The problem is that my boyfriend only changes when he thinks he might lose me. He improves temporarily, then falls back into the same behavior.
I love him deeply and can’t imagine life without him, but I’m also scared of building a future where I feel emotionally alone and responsible for everything.
Bad behaviors don't improve after marriage. NTA.
AITAH For being mad my son wants to change his name?
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3mon 28d ago by sopuli.xyz/u/thecowsaysmoo in aitahAITAH For ending a friendship?
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7mon 19d ago by sopuli.xyz/u/Grimreaper in aitahAITAH for telling my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend to stop coming over to where I live?
10mon 10d ago by endlesstalk.org/u/arumi in aitahAITA for saying someone who triggered my PTSD was not attractive?
1y 1mon ago by thelemmy.club/u/permathrowaway in aitahAITAH for complaining about my immigrant coworkers
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2y 7mon ago by lemmy.world/u/13esq in aitahAITAH for skipping a line of women to access men's toilet?
2y 7mon ago by szmer.info/u/nudnyekscentryk in aitahAITA for pretending I don't remember an annoying regular's order?
2y 7mon ago by lemmy.world/u/A_Very_Big_Fan in aitahAITAH for doing the same thing she did?
2y 8mon ago by lemmy.world/u/Candybar121 in aitah