SLPT: Carry some kind of weapon on you AT ALL TIMES, and be aware of your surroundings. You never know when you could encounter a CEO
1y 6mon ago by slrpnk.net/u/kriz in shittylifeprotips
FSLPT: A staggering variety of everyday objects can be used as a weapon if you are sufficiently motivated and/or pissed off.
I am certain, for instance, that I could do someone quite a mischief if I whacked them with my ThinkPad.
Hell, I could probably break someone's skull with my brick phone while using strobe mode on the flashlight to disorientate the other party.
Bluetooth speakers have some weight, and it has a string to swing it for more force. It'd probably crack a skull with a hard enough swing.
I was thinking about this when I carried my ThinkPad around
'i could totally fuck someone up with this laptop'
About 10 years ago, I had my Fortune 500 company's CEO enter the office gym one day and jump right on the treadmill next to mine (I did not work in the CEO's home office; he was out and about doing a regional office tour that week). And I had to stay because I was in the middle of a timed program, and had a visible countdown going on my treadmill, and it would have been more memorable for him and weird if I just noped out early.
Most awkward ten minutes of small talk I've ever had to make in my entire life.
That's why I always wear headphones in the gym. I devinetively don't want to talk with some "strangers" in the gym.
I bet you wished you threw the treadmill at him! That's what i woulda wished i could do.
A cracked-out erratic orangutan?
No, a chocolate emperor orange.
I like yours better. Coming up with something that fit was hard lol .