Posting here because I don't know what else to do with this information.

And so, the conclusion was reached in a disappointing implosion, a relationship which farted itself to death, a bridge which set itself on fire, and I still don't understand what the fuck happened.

I don't even know which hurts more, because this didn't just affect the Now, but it also stained all of my memories of our past friendship. Right now, all I feel is a sort of crushing disappointment.

Disappointment that the sweetness of infatuation is now thoroughly gone, disappointment that you comported yourself as you did, disappointment that my being honest about how I'm dealing was labeled as guilt-tripping and pressuring (really makes me wanna open up some more, stab me all over, why dontcha'!), disappointment that the friendship I held so dear is now capped off with ghosting.

You popped up out of nowhere, then you vanished just the same. An entirely pointless episode of my life. A month wasted on infatuation, panic and confusion. A heartbreak I didn't even imagine would ever happen again.

And I'm left wondering why. Why you reached out in the first place. Why you were so... all over the place. Why you even bothered, why I even accepted that fucking invite. Could've lived the rest of my life never speaking to you again, and it would've been better than what I have now. Thanks for that.