Fuck no. I'm terrified.

In my life I had 3 near-death experiences. All three were close calls, with one being so so so damn close that I felt my body shutting down and it was the most dreading sensation ever.

If anything, those experiences led me to realize that I still have lots to do before even thinking I'm ready to go.

I've had one foot in the grave (doctor literally said that 50% die the first three days. after three days you have a good chance)

I remember the time the thought shot through my head: "If I'm dead I don't feel the pain anymore" I immediately realized i'm not afraid to die, i'm just not ready to do that. So yes, I am prepared, just don't wanna (yet). I also know it's not hard on me (i'm dead then) but for those who love me and have to sit powerless and watch it happen and go on living.

Why would I need to be? I'm not going to have to live with the aftermath.

My loved ones dying, now there's a problem.

No.

The mere thought that my life is going to end at some point makes me freeze up emotionally and physically. It exacerbates my depression to a point where I sometimes simply call in sick.

It's sad. There is so much beauty in this world, in our existence, in our universe and one day my body will give up because of old age or because of sickness, depriving me of it all.

There is so much that I haven't experienced, and it's not relativistic. I don't buy the BS that some people try to console me with when they say that the only reason that I value life and all it's beauty is because it's finite. F*ck you all. I genuinely weep at the sunrise, at the beauty in people, at the undiscovered knowledge of the universe regardless. I wish my life would never end.

For those of you that know the Japanese animated series Naruto, I feel so much compassion for Orochimaru, even though his human experiments were vile and evil.

My depression sometimes makes me want to stop existing to stop suffering from it, but that's a sickness and an internal struggle and it doesn't represent my true feelings. I don't want to die.

At this point I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to live.

Yep. I don't want to but there's nothing particularly distressing about the idea. I've never felt "existential angst" or anything like that.

My wife (39) died in October. Her breast cancer moved to her brain and over 20 days she went from perfect function to not being able to speak or move and being in excruciating pain. Sometime over those three weeks I made peace with my eventual death.

I dont believe in an afterlife but I hope there is one just so I can see her again. But either way life is to hard to wish to live forever. Immortality is a young persons wish. When you get older and you see what life takes from you piece by piece you come to realize that the end is not to be feared but welcomed just so the pain stops.

I had a serious motorcycle accident in my early 40s. It was the kind that usually results in death, but I got off easy with a shattered collarbone, two broken ribs, and some road rash. I remember the initial impact and then lying on my back looking up at the sky, but nothing else. That nothing made me realize what death would be like, and it freaks me out. Thinking about how someday I'll just stop existing fills me with immense dread. I understand why some people are religious, it gives them an alternative to that dread.

Perhaps I won't always feel this way.

Right now? Yeah.

Maybe tomorrow will be different.

No. Thinking about it terrifies me. I can't comprehend nonexistence, and trying to make sense of it ties me in knots.

Motherfucker, I'm not emotionally prepared to do the dishes

I'm only scared of the pain that comes immediately before and the pain inflicted on my loved ones. Otherwise, if thinking purely selfishly, I wouldn't mind much. I had a goodorun but now i'm exhausted of life in general.

I'm just passively living life until that happens; so yes...

Couple months ago, I woke up to chest pain. Pain that I couldn't get rid of. I'm going through my morning routine trying not to think about it, but it just keeps getting worse. Then it starts radiating out towards my left arm and I am feeling really nervous. I was going to text a friend, but then decided that it was stupid and just drove myself to the nearest emergency room (because of course I wouldn't waste money on an ambulance, I'm an american, we live in hell). I came in feeling faint and dizzy and emotional and that blasted pain just kept getting worse. I remember the receptionist taking her fucking time.

Finally get a nurse to see me and she does a 12 lead EKG and has me hold up my sweatshirt while she's applying them, and while she's doing it, I end up fainting. I wake up almost immediately, but now I'm terrified. I told her I smoked a little weed to try to calm myself down, and now that's all she cares about, wheels me back out into the waiting area so I can piss in a cup for her. At this point, I feel like they don't care, my symptoms aren't being taken seriously, and if I faint again, I'm gonna die in this shitty rural hospital.

So I piss in the fucking cup, fire off a few texts to people I care about, and I lay down on the hospital bed when just... a feeling of complete calm and relief descended upon me. Wherein I was like "well, shit happens, and not everybody can achieve all their goals. You were kind, and that's all that really matters." and there I was, just, completely accepting of what I assumed would be a swift death.

Then the doc came in and said "your EKG is fine, your troponin levels (when you have a heart attack your heart releases "help me" signals via this molecule, troponin) are normal, you just have a bad case of COVID." I was floored. I mean, being sick is better than dying, but I was also just... ready to die? They disconnected my IV and shit and sent me on my way. Walked out into the night back to my car in such a daze.

But hey, I know when I die I'll feel a sense of peace and relief that one can only dream of. Imagine winning the lottery and knowing you'll be OK for the rest of your life. I imagine that it carries around the same level of peace I felt on that bed waiting for death.

For death ? Yes, it will be the same as before I was.born.

The dieing might be horredous though,.so thats of some concern.

I've been shot, I've been stabbed, I've had thousands of pounds of aluminum fall straight toward me and get caught in the last half meter, I've had semis clip my clothing while on a bike and send me flying, I've been pushed off the road by shitty carbrains who can't share anything, and I've been told I have less than a week before most of my organs shut down.

I've thought I was going to die many times. And not once did I think anything other than "huh. So this is it". Most of the I was laughing afterward, and I'm not 100% why except maybe a nervous response.

Ultimately I don't know if I'm emotionally prepared to die, but there's things I am absolutely willing to die for. I'd rather NOT die, but I'd say I am accepting of it.

Uhhhhhhh I'm not actually sure I answered your question, sorry.

This is an impossible question to answer with certainty for pretty much everyone. Maybe the extremely suicidal or the terminally ill, but likely not anyone else.

Death (and our perceived relationship to it) changes with our proximity to it. So, being existentially and emotionally prepared for death when you’re young is very different from when you’re old, and from when death is pretty much imminent. I would wager even people who report a high degree of confidence that they are prepared for their eventual death are less so (and likely much less so) when they are facing imminent death. I imagine the number of people who don’t experience fear when their death is imminent is actually quite low.

I have considered myself prepared for death for much of my adult life, but since sometime in my 30’s I have also accepted that I can’t predict my preparedness in the months-to-moments before I die. The existential threat of your existence ending is simply too dependent on its immediacy to be predicted with certainty ahead of time.

Yes, i am. I had a challenging health episode last year, and am a member of a legal framework for assisted dying. I worked through the emotions, the letting go and the planning. It was very liberating, hard and sad. And I think I grew as a person in the process. I had a good life, and am happy I can live more, but I can confidently say I know how it feels, and if the world goes to shit I am out of here. I am not suicidal at all and enjoy family and my body, food, music, etc.

Yes. Please strike me down where I stand.

In first grade I dreamed of taking my own life because I was miserable. I guess I instinctively knew my mother hated my existence. She stored a 5 gallon bucket nearly full of paint thinner in my closet that leaked and I lived in that for around 6 months before she "found" it. We had a garage and a basement so why store it in a child's closet? She confirmed that when she later told me while drunk that she had her whole life planned out and then she had me.

I was an outcast in school. I've been literally thrown on the ground and kicked so badly the school sent me to the hospital because they were worried about internal bleeding. I didn't even know the kid and was locking my bicycle up and blind sided that time.

I was molested by my cousin. Told I was worthless by my mother and her boyfriends, forced to eat adult sized food portions from a young age. Thrown on the ground and had my head shoved in the gravel because I couldn't keep a grip on an old trash water heater and dropped it by her boyfriend/2nd cousin. Punched by him because I didn't find something fast enough. Among other things.

Ended up married to a woman who had multiple miscarriages, had a son born 3 months premature who died in the NICU at 9 days old. Eventually gave up on the idea of children after another miscarriage. She was injured at work and got hooked on pain killers, then decided to leave me.

My second wife passed away after a long illness. I woke up one morning to find her warm and not breathing. I started CPR and nearly lost it when I broke her ribs.

I'm also considered high intelligence. My iq is around 140. I honestly feel like a failure.

Feel free to feed the following prompts into your favorite Ai and let it do the math.

What would an assumed IQ of a 3rd grade child be if they were told they were ranked in the top ten percentile of children through standardized testing.

And in 8th grade the same child was told that their standardized testing showed they had all of their scores ranked at a minimum of a sophmore in college with some area's being closer to graduate school levels what would their assumed IQ be.

I literally relive my life all the time with memories playing in my head on repeat while I process them. It's a form of C-PTSD caused by my experiences and intelligence. I also deal with recurring headaches and body pain. I truly only feel at peace when I am under water.

I've nearly died a couple times for various reasons. I nearly had my foot ripped off by a machine while working construction. My hands are all scarred from injuries. I made peace with my life ending years ago. I'm not suicidal I just don't really care.

No, I came out a little over 2 years ago and just started living as my true self.

Yes. I've met enough people and seen enough things. It's not going to get better.

Also we're rapidly heading towards a future without topsoil, fresh water and breathable air. Oh and resource wars/ww3. Good times right?

United Nations: 90% of Earth’s topsoil at risk of depletion by 2050

World Economic Forum: Global freshwater demand will exceed supply 40% by 2030, experts warn

Stockholm University: Seven of nine planetary boundaries now breached

Hopefully cancer or something gets me before shit gets really bad in my area.

I think so. I'd be disappointed, and I'd worry about practicalities, but I've had a lot of circumstances that have caused me to think about my existence and my impermanence/mortality so I feel like I've had plenty of space to work through most of the feelings and questions around that. Everything dies, it's cool. I'm just grateful about getting to exist for a second.

Yup. I have no regrets. Sure, I have things I want to do like being in a loving relationship. But, if I die now, I die. Nothing I can do about that.

When I die, I won't have emotions anymore.

Absolutely not. It causes me a lot of anxiety and dread. Mainly because I can't imagine what non-existence is like. But also missing out on stuff, such as scientific discoveries, etc.

If I was, I would BE dead. What is the advantage to being alive if you are no longer emotionally attached to it?

I've dealt with brain cancer on and off for most of my life, and for a while things were looking pretty bad. I'm good now, but I think I came to terms with my own mortality pretty early on (around when I was 16). As someone now rapidly approaching 30, if I were to go tomorrow I feel I'd be OK with that, though I would worry about how my fiancée would take it (or not, I'd be dead so I wouldn't care about much of anything). I'm still looking forward to many more adventures but when my time is up, so be it.

Sometimes the thought of dying relaxes me.

Yes, since I already experienced it once. Before that I was terrified.

It does scare me a bit, but I've thought about death and non-existence from time to time and gotten more comfortable with it. Not totally comfortable but it doesn't horrify me anymore.

Yes, I simply don't find enjoyments anymore that make me say "oh, I am so glad to be alive". Not that I am rushing to die, it's simply... waiting for my time to run out. Modern world doesn't prioritize enjoyment anymore and interaction with friends and family as it doesn't bring shareholder value.

Does it matter? One of the nice things about being dead is that I don't have to react to it.

I've had a couple close calls and while that puts urgency and importance in perspective it did shit for anxiety or existential dread about death. I think there'll always be something else I want to do or time I want to spend with, but for emotionally preparing for death I think the 3 biggest positive effects have been deconstructing from my childhood indoctrinated belief in a utopia afterlife, an epic dose of shrooms in my 20s that helped with death anxiety and just anxiety in general, and grieving over the death of friends and family and understanding the process of death better by being there for someone as they experienced their last weeks.

Not at all, and I don't think I ever will. I want to see what will happen in the future, I want to learn everything, sadly that wont happen.

I'm happy with existence and desperate about it ending.

Nope. Got too much shit to do.

I spent New Years in a camper van way out in the countryside.
While falling asleep I had the thought "if there's something wrong with the gas heating, I could die in my sleep tonight."
And then I realized that I would be perfectly fine with that. I've had a great and adventurous life so far, achieved my goals, have no children, and I know friends will take care of my cats.

Don't get me wrong, I am not the least bit suicidal, but I am not afraid to die anymore, and that's a greatly liberating feeling.

Emotionally? Maybe. I have so many things that I still want to do that death is not even on the radar, and wasn’t even on the radar when I was a socially isolated and depressed teen. So I am not ready, but I would be able to accept it.

Mentally? Yes. As an atheist, I am of the firm belief that everything that has a beginning has an end, and death itself holds no fear for me.

Rather, it is the potentially-painful process of dying that has me nervous. And the concept of wanting to wrap things up and just shut it all down, but being stuck in hospice and no longer having a legal right to do so, is absolutely terrifying for me. Which is why I am now walking my Octogenarian parents through the process of MAiD such that they can still leverage it whenever they want to and for as long as possible; to give them the agency to flip that switch as they see fit. Supporting and maintaining their right of self-determination and agency right to the very end is probably the biggest gift I could ever give them.

Physically? Dear goodness, I hope not. Seeing as my own father is inching rather close to 90, and doing so in good physical condition, gives me hope that I can get another three-plus decades under my belt as well. I just hope I won’t mirror his cognitive decline.

Dying is the easy part. Living meaningfully? I'm looking for ways to improve that.

Yes, I'm only worried about it being painful and my partner having to raise my son alone until she finds someone else. I'm much more worried about losing mobility and or faculties as I age, it can be devastating.

Why be afraid of my energy returning to the universe from whence it came?

Used to be. Since I had kids, the answer is no.

Yes. I wonder what will happen to my plushies. It seems idiot I know, but I have around 150 plushies and they are bound together. They share a story. I don't want them to split, I don't want us to be apart, and I don't want them to "die".

I’ve gone through it all so many times in my head, I do think I’d be prepared, but I am not ready, never have been, as illustrated by my consistently disappointing attempts at suicide, more so when I was younger, but not so many years ago, too.

There’s, fortunately, enough for me here not to be ready, instincts fight back, the mind finds a way to end in a satisfying enough compromise for whatever acute drives me there at the time. But since I’ve gone far enough on many of those occasions, I’ve done a lot of both mental and emotional work to be prepared, I’m happy with how my life is and has been, I wouldn’t feel like I miss anything, or I didn’t get to do all I wanted. I have. The important bits, that is. All the rest are just nice little things to do while I’m stuck here.

I was never suicidal in the bitter or angry sense. I’ve always just been simply too tired to bear everything life brings. It’s just too much and not worth it in my mind. But apparently my subconscious thinks otherwise. Which is fine. It’s a beautiful world, for the most part people are amazing and full of light, the nature just fills your soul with joy and a sense of wonder, animals are just so impossibly adorable to observe from afar, some from close enough that their excitement and love just rubs into me, too.

It’s all good, but not worth all the rest of it. It’s just way too tiring. Makes you empty and drained on a daily basis. There’s so much love and beauty, but not enough time, not enough resources, not enough anything to really reach them in a consistent enough basis, so you fight and you fight, you bear through everything to get there more often, and it’s simply not enough. It’s not worth it. I’d rather cease to exist and be blissfully oblivious to all of it. And be happy I got the time I did with it all. It was beautiful, in part, and it was so endearing, in part, but I’d rather leave it at that, smile and fade away to nothingness, away from all the toil and effort it takes to barely reach anything.

So in a conscious sense I’m all prepared, I’ve even gone and talked my friends and family through all this, so they’d be prepared too, so there wouldn’t be any threads left hanging. It’s all wrapped up nicely in a beautiful, happy little bundle, that should let me join eternity in peace, with a smile. I’d even like to think I’m ready, but in practice, I’ve had to come to accept my subconscious self simply doesn’t agree. Every time it feels like it does, finally, and I go through all the song and dance, and at the last minute, it halts my hand and makes me back off. Sometimes so bitterly close to release.

So I can’t really say I’m ready, even though I feel ready. Have felt for a very long time. Decades.

But I’m happy enough to remain here. It’s still a beautiful world. People, animals, nature are still so full or wonder and love. It feels barely worth it, I’d even say not worth it really, but the subconscious self has its own evaluation which doesn’t line up so nicely with mine. But I guess I should be happy about it, since while each and every day brings further drain, more burden, heavier a weight on my shoulders, it also adds up slowly to the pile of beauty and love and light and all. Not in a bearable ratio, in my mind, but who am I to question my subconscious. It’s still beauty, love and light. I’ll take it, if I have to, and I’ll cling to it all for sense of self and purpose.

Once I get to go, I’ll be all the more relieved, the more the burdens grow and the eyes tire. And the pile of beauty and love will have grown a bit bigger.

heck no. ive got so many people that i love and as much as i think they shouldnt, they love me back. im hopeful that my life improves, and im figuring out how to be and enjoy being myself. im figuring out how to express myself to people and through art. im discovering music that makes me feel good. and again, the people i love so much and who love me so much.

im never gonna make it happen myself and im kinda scared that somethings gonna make me die

It doesnt matter if you are prepared or not, and once it happens you wont be around to feel anything about it anyway. So its not really worth worrying about.

One of the reasons my panic attacks never last long is that I feel like I’m dying and once I think “hey wait why am I freaking out? I don’t care if I die and if I do I’d rather not die feeling so stressed” usually my body calms down very fast.

Same thing with a time when I almost drowned. I realized I’d rather just let go, so I stopped flailing about and let myself start sinking. Then it’s like “okay this is taking longer than expected to die, I could probably push myself up to take a breath or maybe even swim to shallow water before I die”

Accepting death is a great way to calm yourself down in stressful situations and calming yourself down is helpful in most stressful situations lol

Would worrying about it make a difference?

Yeah, but it would be disappointing. Still plenty I'd like to do, and I'm only a handful of years from retirement, so I would be just shy of some well-earned down time.

As far as fear? I've never been afraid of dying. The time immediately prior to dying, yes, that is potentially scary. Being dead isn't something you experience, though, so what is there to fear?

No. I have many regrets. There are many things that I have not experienced, or would like to continue to experience. The world has not changed enough that others will not be hurt in the ways I am.

I realize that I would not feel distressed about these things after there is no I to feel distressed about these things, but I still am and what I am is afraid of dying. Also some still-living people would be sad and I'd rather not do that to them.

Yea

No

Nope

I feel like I'll be prepared later on but I'm fully expecting to not be ready when the time comes.

Yes, no and perhaps.

Yes, because, simply put, it is inevitable. It is the only certain thing. I will end.

No, because I don't want to leave those who need or may need me to be left alone. I would like to see all those I love and cherish grow, build their families and carve their place into the world.

Perhaps, because there is nothing I can do to prevent, avoid or delay it. It will happen. When it happens, it will be sad but it will have to happen.

That's it.

Yes.

I am not emotionally prepared to die because I'm not ready to die. I still have shit to do

Not really, I really don't wanna die.

My entire existence is bizzare as fuck.

I was supposed to be terminated under the One Child Policy since I was the 2nd one, but somehow I managed to live and survive till birth.

I've always had existential crisis about it ever since my mom told me about it.

No I don't wanna die. I'm scared. But I'm also feeling suicidal simultaneously, but also wtf brain stop it, I wanna live, wtf r u doing brain, stop thinking about suicide.

so... yeah... brain is weird...

I'd panic...

I remember once seeing a nuclear mushroom cloud outside my window... then the electronics died to the emp... then I woke up...

It was a dream...

I think I was just full with adrenaline...

I think biology will take over and survival instincts will make me scare af at my final hour.

Its why people believe in spirts and souls and stuff... its literally biology... coping mechanism...

I sort of believe in reincarnation too... yes I know its probably copium... but otherwise I'd be an even bigger puddle of depression.

I sometimes wonder if "god" intervened and that why I was born... cuz normally you'd just become an aborted fetus in China. They say 400 million government forced abortions in China... but somehow I lived. Bizzare.

Great ice breaker tho, I haven't really told anyone IRL yet... I kinda tried to stop thinking about it for the past 10 years since it constantly get me thinking: what if I was never born

My mom keeps reminding me about it. I get a burst of existential crisis every time... her words sounds so... like... it makes the entire atmosphere dark whenever my mom retells my "origin story".

I wouldn't be happy about it.

Edit: I've been introduced to the concept early in my life that my life can end unnaturally. I've also experienced enough to know that there are cases where extended life isn't worth it and choosing to die is the preferable option.

Right now, I'm not there. I've also had to deal with something potentially fatal and I've been mostly emotionally able to handle it because there was a path forward to a healthy life.

If that was to change, I would likely spend my savings enjoying my life before either looking myself or letting whatever sickness take my life without medical intervention.

I expect the hardest part of that decision will be to tell my family because they don't have the same viewpoint.

Not all. Kudos to those who are, and deep condolences to those in this thread that have had such trauma that they seek it. But at 48 I've never felt more at ease with the world, and I simply don't want to go.

That said, I'm a fucking idiot. I drink too much most weekends, I overeat and I'm a light smoker/vaper.

Yes I exercise, but nowhere near enough. I need to change, I know it. But I always retreat into excuses.

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.” ― Woody Allen

Nope. And I never will be.

I wouldn't say that I am fully prepared, but to significant extent prepared that my physical body will die eventually. As a spiritually based person I believe that the real self is timeless and spaceless, so eternal, never entered the flow of time in the first place, so can't die in the usual meaning. But to some extent, I am more terrified by such eternal existence than the prospect of entirety nonexisting...

But I prefer to die extremely old. I am not speaking about around one hundred. I mean at least several hundreds, preferably at least several thousands of years old. Really old! Medicine is not on such level yet, but progressing. The field of longevity / rejuvenation / aging-reversal / anti-aging is still criminally underfunded, what slows progress down, but it is going.

If also you want to make sure that most of humans can live to such world, where aging related diseases are gone, request your government to fund aging-reversal research and sign the https://dublinlongevitydeclaration.org/

Not at all. I hope I'll go peacefully in my sleep, or am not concious on the way out should it take some time. Because if I don't feel the dread of 'I'm going to die' I figure I'll be fine.

On the other hand, all the fear is meaningless once it is over. I'm not sure if I find that comforting or stupid.

I don't think so.

As bleak as things are in the world, I still have hope. I want to observe the next 20 years unfold. I also want to watch my kids grow up.

The thought of dying makes me incredibly sad.

Would like to say yes, but thinking about an infinity of not living while everyone I knew is long forgotten and the universe gets cold makes me dizzy. We are all trembling chihuahuas in gods designer handbag.

I had a near death experience 8 years ago where I came to terms with dying. Since then I am no longer worried about it

Emotionally ready like am I ok with it, or would I rage rage against the dying of the light? Yes I think so, I could go gently.

Don't want to, still happy but I am not that worried, if I had to I could, my kids are grown, I have experienced a lot of stuff, learned a lot, enjoyed being alive and physically embodied, probably more than many people do in a lifetime. I would not feel like I got ripped off or anything.

i'm just so fucking tired i don't want it to happen, but a person can only hurt so much

No

I am 68, I am sure as shit it is not ol’ St. Nick knocking at the door. I seem ambivalent actually. All I know is I really, really, really, really do not wish to feel any sort of pain if possible.

I would bet that a lot of the folks who think they’re emotionally prepared aren’t. That is absolutely not a criticism of anyone. Death is so final and such an enormous concept that a lot of people just can’t comprehend it until death is staring them in the face.