Haha no you didn't
4mon 17d ago by discuss.online/u/bytesonbike in political_weirdos from discuss.online
Is this supposed to be serious? It's so over the top that it reads like satire. The only thing missing is the applause.
Apparently this guy is a joker/troll, but still on the MAGA train. Satire, but uncritical of the thing it's satirizing? Maybe like Babylon Bee?
You know, I couldn't figure out what bugged me so much about the Babylon Bee until you just pointed it out perfectly. Most conservative humor is punching down, which is what makes it so unfunny in the first place. But even when they do an article poking fun at conservative stuff, they still don't quiet land any punches. Satire is supposed to be critical of what you're making fun of, not just acknowledging it.
IMO guys like OOP, and lots of conservative memes, are more about getting a reaction out of ideological/political opponents and then laughing about that. That is the thought process, but it doesn't have to actually happen this way, which makes it even sadder.
In other words, they imagine libs getting mad at their jokes, and that's the joke.
Other people have described this much better than me.
I'm not sure exactly where BB falls here, but at least partly the above applies.
Then it's not satire.
And everybody got the clap.
Shoveling out the slop for the slop-hogs that want to believe orange man fantasy slop
He also found $100 on the ground and several chicks hit on him and they all sang a song together
Tears in their eyes, sir!...sir!
And a crowd of thousands had appeared, and they all applauded.
Fireworks followed
It's like an early gen AI video
An upside down airplane morphed out of a wall and did a barrel roll down the hallway in reverse.
And then ice came out and had a celebratory beating of a Latino.
I shouldn't have laughed at this
Those little girls? Alberta Einstein(s)
Well kids, if you want to see Melania (pulls out phone), here you go!
Woof
Even naked, I literally couldn't find her less attractive. And I'm a straight dude who isn't even that picky about women.
Her "talents" on (mostly) full display
She is a certified genius in accordance with her visa type.
Ask how and why you have these but I don't want to know.
Who's head is that though? It's clearly photoshopped.
Alone in the basement, Adams was furiously whacking off with one hand, as he typed his Melania fanfic with the other.
'I am settling in for a showing of 'Melania' and the theater is PACKED!'
"What else does this story need?" he whacked. "Oh, yes. Little girls!"
His non-typing hand immediately doubled its speed.
This is literally Trump Derangement Syndrome.
Right. That is the definition of TDS.
They then got up to the doors for Melania and the Easter Bunny said, "Tickets please.." and the man searched his pockets but couldn't find his tickets.
And the thousands or whatever made up, bullshit claims of people started yelling, "Hurry up!" "We want to see the movie!!"
Suddenly the person behind the man got impatient, pulled out a gun and shot the man.
Oh no... There's more...
I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!
Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”
The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”
“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”
“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”
Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.
“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”
Tears began to well up in their eyes.
“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”
They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.
I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”
He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”
And then they had buttsex in the bathroom, not that they're gay or anything, while the children watched a movie dryer than a silicon gel packet in the Sahara.
This is one of the funniest things I have read all day.
Some prime copypasta material in there
Who is this even for? Even hardcore MAGA can't be bothered to watch this shit.
What an absolute shit stain lmfao
with a twinkle in my eye
Back in my day propaganda tried to be convincing.
In my day satire was easily recognized
Honestly I can't tell if Nick Adams is satire or not. Like he's legitimately very conservative, but also the posts get so ridiculous he MUST realize it can't be taken seriously
That father? ALBERT EINSTEIN.
Obama was there. He clapped.
Albert *Epstein
And then everyone in the lobby clapped.
It doesn’t stop there. Here’s the rest of the post
… “Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”
Tears began to well up in their eyes.
“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”
They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.
I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of pop faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”
He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”
My brain refuses to believe this is real
That a good indicator your sanity is still intact
That's because it isn't. Your brain doesn't lie.
So... They're writing fan fiction now....
Always have been, remember in 2016 when he said he'd release his tax information (required to get clearances) and he failed to do so, kept saying he would and now is suing the people who voted for him for $10 billion dollars.
Edit: why.. Because he told the population he would do the job for $0, and the tax records showed he didn't donate that money and was lying to every Republican voter.
Oh and because he can now blatantly steal from them, and they will say yes please, because every Republican is an absolute bootlicker
Lmao. I have had 4 kids, no fucking way they pick this shit doc over Zootopia.
Heck I wouldn't pick it over Ishtar
And that father's name? Albert Einstein.
I'll take "Things that didn't happen" for 200.
What do you call this fetish? Second hand voyeurism?
Then-everyone-clapped-ism
This is a shitpost, right??
Yeah Nick Adams is a professional MAGA troll.
you need to do some personal development. none of this should be confusing to you.
You need to do some personal development, nobody here was mean but you. There's a time and place for snark. Be nice, do better.
He's just a bit of a cunt, I have him tagged. Not fully MAGA, but always ready with shit takes, both sidesism, and antagonizing everyone for no reason. He's the common sense centrist and we're all woke extremists
Snark is nice and is better than false sincerity and concern trolling.
Sweetie thats just the problem, I care about the level of toxicity in one online community I participate in. The sincerity is genuine.
I'm gonna block you, because I looked through your comment history and you're mega toxic. You really should do some work on your self, you'll feel better and be less hateful. Probably. Idk.
Anyways byeeee have a nice life and remember, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't blow your nose into your hands.
Yes, but does it occur to you that you're the toxic one?
Because you want to go around policing how others behave according to your standards, instead of maybe, leaving them alone?
Weird, I see you as hateful and bigoted because you are forcing yourself onto others and judging them rather than letting them be.
You need to do some personal development, nobody here was mean but you. There's a time and place for snark. Be nice, do better.
I'm new to the Fediverse, but seeing your comment with that much of a downvote ratio.....
No one wants to hear what you have to say.
Also, welcome to the Fediverse. And don't worry, the points can't hurt you here.
You need to do some personal development, nobody here was mean but you. There's a time and place for snark. Be nice, do better.
Where was I mean?
All I said what I never want to have children. If that hurts your feelings that's a you problem.
You're doing great!
Go back to Reddit.
why. reddit is full of people who can't take a joke and have no self of self-determination or responsibility.
Actually it's the thrilling story of how some filmmakers and executives kissed Trump's wife's ass. It's a thrilling story about her raking in millions of millions of dollars to show that her idiot husband isn't the only one who can exploit his presidency for profit.
I heard she fucked the executives to get this done? Not that she needed to, she just did.
I'm not saying it's true but it's weird that she hasn't denied it. What is she hiding? I'm just asking questions here.
So she got it done, and took the opportunity to get laid by powerful men who ain't her worthless husband. Rumors aren't facts, but I could see it happening. She's not really a good person, willing to do whatever she has to in order to gain money, but she's not malevolent like her the Orange Jackass and his ghouls.
Nick Adams is someone that seems to have accepted his side is full of weirdo people who are wrong about everything but decided to go with the pay or something
Its actually embarrassing seeing anyone get mad at this account, when it's pretty clearly a shit post account.
Nick Adams (who this is the official Twitter account of) is a Trump assigned nominee to be ambassador to Malaysia.
Probably not a troll (well, he is a troll, but not the way you mean) is he?
Thought that till he was made an ambassador
We've reached the enddumb times.
Right winger's and even trump himself take him seriously. To them he is speaking the truth.
Edit: ffs trump made him the ambassador to Malaysia!
It’s so bad that that it’s completely believable that someone in this administration would say this, knowing it’s completely a lie, but say it anyway.
But MAGA didn't realize this (lmao) and made him a nominee for ambassador to Malaysia
No they probably did, but they are just willing to give people political positions for doing a good job trolling people.
Some people here really need to get their sarcasm detectors checked.
And his name was Albert Frankenstein
Making a movie about a woman with said woman seems pretty woke. We're supposed to be at home cooking and giving birth aren't we? Who let this one out of her cage?
i'd tell you but you're on the internet and i'm not supposed to answer your questions
LMAO kids wouldn't even opt to see an actual amazing documentary, probably even if it were about animals.
I can't even convince my kids to watch animated family/children's movies that they'd love because it wasn't what they picked!
the one exception was march of the penguins. that was a great movie. i was working at a small firm and one day we all decided to go see it when the boss was at lunch. best part was he didn't get mad, he was just upset we didn't invite him.
I loved the Planet Earth series as a kid
They're not even good at lying on the internet
I don't understand wtf is going on with the RT score.
10% Critics, 99% Verified Audience
99 audience score? Surely, it's bots, right?
So you look at "All Audience" and you see 1/5 pretty much the whole way down:
Then Verified Audience.... and it's 5/5 the whole way down?
These are (supposedly) verified ticket purchase reviews/accounts. Did they seriously just buy up a bunch of tickets just pay for high reviews?
I mean they buy books in bulk to get an author on the best seller list
Yeah considering we're seeing the posts they're probably higher in the rankings so they give those people tickets so they can post something good. Hell I bet most didn't watch the thing. Just want a nibble of that baby carrot.
If you got money it's probably not difficult to do.
Can confirm. At my old job around 2010s, there was an objective to make all the C-level folks best selling authors, Ted speakers, thought leaders, etc.
Many of them appeared in Forbes and top 100 lists.
It wasn't expensive at all.
Only MAGAs would pay to see this so of course all the ticket purchasers are glazing it. It could have been just watching her take a dump for 2 hours and they'd rate it 5 stars.
same as it ever was
Surely, it's bots, right?
Can you imagine anyone actually paying to watch the movie? Yeah, I'd say it's bots or something along those lines. 99% is about as believable as North Korean "election" results
And then he woke up, sorry unasleeped, and found his sheets were sticky.
And that LLM he used to 'improve' his first draft did a bang-up job!
Cringeee
This is jack chick level dross
Nick, If your fantasies were of any interest to others they wouldn't be fantasies.
In Germany we call that "Geschichten aus dem Paulaner Garten"
“Geschichten aus dem Paulaner Garten”
Interesting. TIL, thanks.
I don't know who Nick Adams is but he's a terrible liar
It's satire, right?
Nick Adams is the alpha males eat at hooters guy.
Sooooo, satire.... Right?
Yes.
🤮
"Damn, I was high as FUCK when I wrote this shit." ~ Nick Adams
Story is clearly fiction, everyone didn't clap at the end.
And then everyone stood up and cheered....fucking lying pieces of shit.
Literally insane.
is this the golf foursome guy
He used ai to fabricate the story
Fuck off Rebecca
This is fun to read and I congratulate him for sliding up Trump's ass in these slippery times