bold words
3mon 19d ago by lemmy.world/u/kali_fornication in lemmyshitpost
Quick! You must—
Don't worry, I am already my own worst enemy!
Mine Bitcoin. Hold.
Bitcoin. 120k. 2025.
Bitcoin. One hundred…
You just blew it.
sell at $100… got it! thanks future me! will do!
honestly that's probably still a 1000x return.
but it’s not a 1000000x return!
You buy 5 bitcoins for $450 each in 2016. It's what you can afford. You sell them for $10,000 each in 2018, timing it decently just before a bigger drop.
Congrats on your $48k.
Look at this youngin, turning 18 in 2016. Enjoy your knees and shoulders while you can.
2009-2010, you hear about this "Bitcoin" thing for the first time. You remember some old fart telling you about it years ago, but you had no idea what they were talking about and assumed they had mental problems. You decide to download it and start mining it, it doesn't hurt anything. It just uses your CPU to mine them. You let it run and quickly forget about it. Eventually, you get tired of it slowing your computer down. You have a few thousand coins by now, so you shut the miner down and put your wallet somewhere safe. Then you forget all about it, until about 2021...
That was me. Around 2009 I remember first hearing about it and trying to buy it and quickly realizing it wasnt that easy and seemed sketcky so i just said whatever... i wonder what I would have done if I did.
My 18 was also way before (2000) this so i hope i remember it for that long. And honestly life was good up until 2009 so i wouldnt really change any of that anyway. 2009 on could have used some improvements...
Sell bitcoin 2025.
Girl, you're transgender.
Girl, you're -
Don't preorder Cyberpunk.
I've never understood why anyone would pre-order anything digital. Were you afraid they would run out?
The last physical game I ever had trouble finding when it released was GTA San Andreas. I really couldnt find it for about a week maybe 2 which was nuts.
"Distrust Peter Molyneux."
ADHD not stupid
Aww 🥲 yeah
Get to France!
Wtf do I like Mike Oldfield in the future
Get on the french lemmy at jlai.lu
Bitcoin hits 120k
Bitcoin hits 277k
Not worth too much for me. Better is: Rheinmetall hits 1800€
Buy Bit Coin
"you're a girl"
first choice:
PURSUE NUCLEAR ENGINEERING
runner up:
YOU AIN'T MALE
third place:
ATTENTION DEFICIT: REAL
With you on 1 and 3, not so much 2...
When I was 18 ADHD was something kids had and you outgrew it. I probably couldn't have been evaluated then. So nuclear engineering it is.
2 was my first thought too, but maybe its better that I didnt had my egg cracking while I was still living with my parents (the funny thing is, that I still had my egg cracking while staying at my parents place between semesters) and going to school.
My egg cracked at 11, but enbys were almost entirely unknown in Texas back then so I masked so hard that I was basically living in denial. My 18yo self wouldn't need gender validation, it'll find kindred spirits for that in college, but "Colorado, not California" might push up my transition date by a decade, 'cuz my first attempt to escape Texas didn't go well.
Maybe you could say "you're a woman", but you're still male, unless you've had major work done.
Oh I'm not a girl either.
I'm an it: a THING. :3
The big revelation i had in recent years is that although i may not know what i am, i know what I'm not.
I wasted decades living like a fish who was tricked into thinking its life's purpose was to climb trees.
I could have spared myself a great deal of inconvenience and confusion if i had realized sooner that I'm asexual and genderless because divesting of those labels has drastically reduced the discomfort of my existence in that i no longer feel bizarre self-inflicted pressure to fulfill archetypical roles toward which i never related and which I never understood in the first place.
A lot of social issues i had came from externalization of internal dysphoria. The deep, overwhelming disgust and discomfort I felt when merely even conceptualizing masculinity that purports to be 'mine', let alone any actual participation in such an identity. Being in "boy" spaces, being present for "boy" events, every stereotype and statistically emergent pattern associated with maleness, all of it--ALL OF IT--made my skin crawl.
The utter revulsion that overwhelmed me regarding masculinity spilled over into how I treated others, and that absolutely sucked. It's not their fault they had an intrinsic understanding of themselves that felt intuitive and made sense to them...
...
And also even though I don't particularly feel interested in pretending to be a girl either i know i definitely would be more comfortable in a more androgynous body. I even want bottom surgery, not for anyone else's sake but because it feels less wrong conceptually.
(Not holding my breath though)
I just sometimes think back to the 90s and wonder if i could've had more room in my head for more useful considerations if I hadn't been preoccupied with an intrinsic inability to embody societal expectations and roles that, it turns out, had nothing to do with me. If i didn't waste so much effort trying to care about something that i hated and turned out to not matter at all, goodness, i could've known myself so much better, been at least somewhat more comfortable in my own head if not in my own skin.
If future me had conveyed the message convincingly in just those three words that no good would come from struggling to participate with that miserable dead-end charade... maybe i could have better focused on things that did matter.
Your sex is not an identity (inherently, at least- people can make it part of their identity).
There's different contexts for the word (chromosomal, phenotypical, etc), but generally speaking the average of all of them is what you are described as in a biological sense, gender aside.
I'm still running into new identities, expressions, and interpretations, but so far everything I'm aware of holds at least that much in common.
Am I missing something? Genuine question.
It gets worse
Invest in Apple.
Invest in Nvidia yourself
They said 3
Jensen, that you?
Sell Bitcoin 2025
This tells myself to first buy Bitcoin so I have some to sell. Then gives me the year it was at the highest peak. By then I'll be intrigued and will be paying attention. I may not hit exactly March which was the highest point but I'll still be much better off.
damn, and I thought I was original ...
I was even wondering if 2025 counts as one word for a while
I mean, why not just encrypt more data points in a large number string?
A1Z26 cipher 19,5,14,4,14,21,4,5,19
Past self: "oh look an old person having a stroke"
"Damn, I must've really gotten into Lost fanfic..."
Better is "Bitcoin sell 100000"
So you know to sell when it hits 100000$ whenever this is.
Math people make me laugh.
100000 is 'one hundred thousand'. Your younger self would hear 'Bitcoin sell one' followed by confusing silence. Same goes for 'Bitcoin sell 2025', twenty twenty five, two thousand twenty five — both ways are too many words.
The fact you don't know how to use hyphens doesn't mean that you shouldn't. They've always been more useful and less bot reeking than em-dashes.
An em dash signifies a longer pause — I'll continue to use them however I see fit. It's telling, though, that you assume an em dash means I'm using an AI to write.
Edit: Math friends :)
When did I say you were using AI? By all means, stick to your shitty style choices, but there's no need to start lying about things.
👍 Yes your brain is so very big Mr. math friend — I'm sure you've completely outclassed every person you've ever met in writing.
Wait, but you're familiar enough with AI to think em dashes = bot style... Could it be that... you're lying? Impossible.
Me at 18 in 1980's: "wtf is a bitcoin?"
Yes, but when it's invented you WILL know.
Sell bitcoin 2025.25. If that works you'll have to break me off a piece.
Two thousand twenty five dot twenty five, twenty twenty five dot twenty five, two zero two five dot two five.
I was just gonna tell me to kill myself but this one might be better.
You a lesbian
You ADHD transgender
"You adult defect-"
"Sorry buddy, acronym's count."
Ehi no fair acronyms are words too
Sorry chief, this hypothetical is FUBAR
Maybe "you're" so it doesn't sound like name-calling?
i think it is meant to be name calling, just in a cute way, perphaps add a :3 to the end
but "you're" is two words
Don't get married.
How do you give Lemmy gold?
No idea. Don't care. After I posted this I scolled down the thread and saw at least one other person had posted the exact same thing, though. :D
Buy $0.01 bitcoin.
That's six words, no?
Buy penny Bitcoin?
It’s two words, everything else is numbers and a symbol, I’d argue I’m well within the limits of the rules to add another word if I wanted.
Saying it out loud you'd have to reduce it, right? But my real problem with the message is how do you know when to sell the bitcoin?
The rules were three words, no caveats, I’m choosing to be subjective with the interpretation. I’m taking the “There ain’t no rules that say a dog can’t play basketball” approach.
Buy $100 worth at $0.01, sell that at $1000, get the fuck out of dodge.
Stop taking this seriously, it’s a time travel hypothetical.
You're a girl
Your dong wrong.
Lmfao this is the funniest thing I’ve read all week
Glad to be of service. But I do hope your week gets better
Four words technically
Bob, WeHadAnAwakening You'reAGirl!
I get this reference, fellow old person.
10 lbs 7ozs
then say "Your a girl"
not like they'd notice
Don't do it
You’re a bottom.
Just be punk.
Two would be enough, "buy bitcoin".
what says that you wouldnt have sold it e.g. when the price doubled? like from $10 to $20?
18yo me would be living in the early 2000s; any of these would set me up for life: “Bitcoin hits $100K” “Buy Tesla shares” - this also would work for any of the big brands Netflix/Nvidia etc.
But this one would probably change my life in a much more meaningful way: “Don’t lose her.”
You'd be better off saying something like "sell bitcoin $125k" (we'll just assume "$125k" would count as one word). That you should then buy it when it's cheap would be implied.
Good point.
"Buy Bitcoin, hodl"
Transgender, AuDHD, (secret third thing. Or maybe just bitcoin)
..I'm sure my 18 year old ass would process this information in a calm and reasonable manner, lol
AuDHD
Gold Dihydrogen dioxide?
Suck. My. Balls.
(He'd think it's fucking hilarious)
Let's see...
don't sell bitcoin
don't sell doge
don't buy restaurant
don't date XYZ
don't date ABC
don't buy restaurant
don't quit place
Ok, but if you DID buy a restaurant, what kind and why?
I wanted to exit tech and thought bars might work.
They didn't. Even loving what I did in bar-land, it ultimately led to substantial debt that I'll be paying on for years.
I was happier in general, but the financial viability was impossible.
edit: Beer margins are crazy, but not during COVID and not now.
Buy All Bitcoin
Buy some bitcoin
Instructions unclear, sold it when it doubled.
"bitcoin peaks 2025"
Don't. Marry. Her.
Don't marry her - Beautiful South
You need therapy.
Read scholarship terms.
(Got fucked over majorly at DeVry because I trusted actual adults in authority positions for my guidance and wish I had the backbone back then to call them out on it.)
It's-A-Me!
Cherish them more.
Oof. Yeah.
Take LSD now
Me from future
Big Chief, No Shit.
It's still fucked.
Your 18 year old self being really confused because you basically used 4 words so the message that arrives is just "It's still..". Just imagine what weird stuff your 18 year old self would do because it thinks it found the secret of your message.
A contraction is still one word, even if it's the combination of both
Someone didn't go to genie school
Don't have children.
Are you a mother?
Yes, but not a good one. Having children made my mental health so much worse, we would all be better off if I had chosen differently.
Don't beat yourself up too much... just keep things in mind to make some small changes when possible. The kids are here already, there's no going back, but you can go forward, despite the hardships, in a way you can be proud of, right? (I know, I know, it's unsolicited advice, but it comes from a good place. ✌️)
Do not piss
Tossup between "buy Bitcoin now" and "you are autistic"
The first one, because, obviously. The second one, because I didn't find out until I was in my 30s. My lemmy account is older than my diagnosis.
I'd go with autieness for me, personally. If I'd known i was autie when i was younger, they may have been able to help me more than what I got as an adult proper.
The best one
invest in bitcoin!!!!!!!
Stop lifting weights. Your childhood injury will flare up and ruin your life for a couple years.
Also you'll forget how to count words
You fucking dumbass.
won't get better
This why you should learn at least one extensively agglutinative language before 18.
Start depression medication
Don't marry Sarah!
Brush teeth more
Buy bitcoin soon
Hold bitcoin decades
go to gym
Rude.
It's only because it turns out I really enjoy going to gym and wish I'd learned that earlier
I'm kidding, I also wish I'd gotten in better shape much sooner.
It really depends on when at 18. On my 18th birthday: "mom's headaches cancer". A few months early wouldn't necessarily save her, especially given the few years chemo bought her, but they might. If it's after the cancer is caught I'd say "come out soon" and point to myself.
Notice your happy.
welp. there it went.
Mom has leukemia would have been a good move
You deserve better.
Point at him and say: "Gay. Invest Zoom." He'll figure it out.
Bitcoin exceeds 100000
That's 5 words
bitcoin five zeroes
"ALIEN INVASION SOON"
I do a little self-trolling :)
I can't figure out how to prevent 9/11 in 3 words. So, I'll just say "Programming Language: Haskell".
Why?
I wish I learned the lessons from that language 12 years earlier than I did. I still prefer to write personal code in that family of languages, and it made me a better coder even in Java, JavaScript, Python, even C.
Also, that year is actually the first year it was available and my first year in college; it might have focused me enough to actually go to grad school and start a PL research career. I don't know if that would be better, but it would be different.
The people calling out BTC is also a pretty good idea, but I made a little money on BTC, and I'm not sure too much more money would be a positive change in my life. It could be, but I think it might have made me more covetous and more isolated.
But, I often choose to program instead of playing video games these days, so it's clearly something I enjoy, even if I don't currently monetize it.
Thanks for asking.
Buy Apple Stock
You're a girl
Won't get better.
Learn women's perspectives
You do fine
Don’t stop believin’
Move to Europe
Strong.
Google, Microsoft, bitcoin.
'Read this book' as I hand him a guidebook for the next decade or two.
It gets better
Oh boy did it get better!
Loss dot jaypeg
𓀥 | 𓁆 𓀕
𓁆 𓀟 | 𓀣 𓁀
:.|:;
Hail Satan, bitch
hail thyself, bitch
Let's have beer.
You are bi-polar
"You are bi..."
Hold the door!
Hodor hodor hodor
Diagnose for ADHD
Seek mental help
Put down bottle LOL
She was interested in you, go talk to her.
Your future self will say "that's nine words" =]
Oh, sorry. Talk to her, then.
Buy Google
Edit- I remember telling my dad this; it occurs to me now he may not have had the liquid funds to invest that I at the time assumed he did
Amazon in 2010 was like 75 a share
ur fucked lol
Literally talked with him in an ultra realistic dream last night. Told him to “hang in there” and then I showed him some cool tech he has to look forward to.
This is a cute exercise in lateral thinking and all but will past me know that it is future me talking? Won't matter what the fuck I say otherwise, the little shit won't be listening to any authority figures.
I'd probably immediately forget that I ever met me. There is also no way to explain anything in a way 18yo me could understand and if I'd succeed it would be thrown into an existential crisis.
Don’t trust [REDACTED]
Buy Nvidia now
Sell Nvidia 190
Gotta give yourself an exit strat or you'll pop off too early or end up bagholding
See a psychiatrist.
Drop out. Act.
Drink more Ovaltine!
Not fuck crazy!
Not marry crazy!
You 19 now
go to therapy
Bitcoin 100k
Invest in Apple.
Stop touching yourself
Why?!
Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you
Bet on Patriots
Move somewhere else.
Get out NOW
Bitcoin Law Travel
Invest in Apple
"Recent life story?"
Am I the only person on Lemmy who isn't 18 yet
I'm assuming that they are aware that I'm them from another time
KILL YOUR MASTERS
2020 ruin you
Life gets worse
Ask doctor paroxetina
You’re Demi + trans 🏳️⚧️ (Was always too nervous to admit it long ago)
You are fucked.
Die mother fucker
"im 18 rn"
You're 18. It's somewhere in the early 2000s and you've just graduated. You're soaking in the warm summer night air in your bed watching The Office. The world is so far away and simultaneously rushing at you at the speed of fuck. Your Blink-182 CD loops back again.
Suddenly, a bright pinprick of light bathes your dim room in an eerie blue-white glow. The light begins to grow and you realize it's undulating, like a fluid unbound by gravity as it roils in the air. You're too stunned to speak and cover your eyes at the harsh light. Your hairs stand on end and chills run along your skin. Somewhere inside, you associated such luminosity with heat, but the sphere—no, the disc, seems to be consuming the energy in the room, like some kind of ethereal whirlpool.
You gasp as a shadow moves through the shimmer. First a hand, then the upper half of what looks like a torso. The figure cocks their head as they look around the room. You can only make out their silhouette, but... they're vaguely familiar.
It's... you! They're different, a bit more worn down, perhaps, but they're unmistakably you. After a moment, your breath catches in your throat. They're older. Your mind, stunned by the absurdity of what has just occurred, finally catches up.
"You're me... from the future," you say. The statement immediately sounds stupid. Of course they are. The portal, the older you, what else could be happening. You scramble for a pen and an old school journal at your nightstand. You've fantasized about this before. You know what to do. Write down what they say and you'll be rich. No, you'll stop some horrible cataclysm. Maybe you'll keep your true love from leaving!
You turn back to yourself expectantly, anxiety causing your hand to shake on the page. You're holding your breath. Your lungs burn but you hardly can bring yourself to care.
The older you looks down at you from the swirling light.
"You are eighteen," they say with a shit-eating grin. In an instant, the light is gone. Darkness floods your room again as if nothing at all had happened. Outside your window, crickets continue to chirp. Your mind races, generations of genetically perfected pattern recognition searching for meaning in the words until you remember shitpostd about this exact scenario on 4chan.
"Oh go fuck yourself," you say, tossing aside the journal.
no I mean I am literally 18 rn 😭😭
Oh damn. Well... ignore my comment then. 😭
Save your money
Don't Get Married!
Um, if you know about it beforehand, prep your notes and summarize them into about A4 size and just say "read this note"
1986, buy Microsoft
We like Ducks.
I'm you from...
Networking, not cybersecurity
You're worth it
Not worth it.
Ken M... fucking legend.
that's 4 words
how are you
"There is nothing."
Get over it
There's no God.
Put off college
Leave home NOW
You'll be fine.
Do more drugs
Bitcoin, Dogecoin, GME
If I know it's me, "mine some Bitcoin" if I don't necessarily know it's me? "You transitioned.... Me"
Maybe "fuck you imbécile"
Or maybe "don't fail university"
"Don't Date Any" personally, girlfriends are expensive and I have put a lot of effort and time in pretty toxic ones that rebounded immediately after to the nearest guy. Obviously wouldnt be single forever but I def should've had higher standards.
Aside from that, prob a way to tell me what to invest in. Maybe to short the market right before covid (2020, Put Stocks),
I don't think I could convey when to sell crypto/bitcoin in just 3 words and it would be a disaster
Compound interest
It’s all bullshit.
I don't have much that my clueless 18 year old self could use. "Brother has Aspergers", maybe to shortsell a company stock at a certain date, or tge government employment program link, which would be a bad idea (I would speedrun losing a job and confidence).
So the first one (no money for stocks, parents that won't listen).
"Wise up, dickhead!"
Write down deadlines!
18 was a long ass time ago for me. It would have been the late 90's. The world was so much different that I don't think anything I could say in 3 words would make any sense to my 18 year old self. I didn't have any money at 18 so something like "buy apple stock" wouldn't have worked.
Even taking the big assumption that I believed what I was telling my 18 year old self I can't actually come up with anything that makes sense in context. 3 words just isn't enough to convey anything useful given the time difference and everything else!
You got this. Or, Believe in yourself.
Buy AMD stocks.
Would have been rich! Or perhaps Nividia.
Annual psychiatric screening 👍
Got a few things I'd sure love to have caught 5 years earlier than I did
Doesn't get better.
Gey anxiety medicine
fuck social rules
Enjoy the life
If this were to happen, all of you are going to completely destroy Bitcoin. Haha!
Skip college, gormless.
It'll be ok
Are contractions allowed? That opens up possibilities
If not, then...
Do not worry
Leave him now.
"Don't waste."
The unclear advice went horribly wrong.
I'm you...!
To my presumption this is 3 words, and the 18 year old me is not going to blindly believe any sudden random 3 words said.
Lol at all these incorrect answers. "Kill 'em all" is the only sensible response.
You'll win this
invest in bitcoin.
Read the Qur'an.
PS: Actually, nah. I wouldn't say anything, I wouldn't want things to change (I did kinda date another Muslim qt before I met my now wife and I didn't agree with the religion conversion cause I was an atheist at the time, plus other details, so things fizzled out), I'm very pleased with my life despite the hardships.
Username lore!!
Buy castle vania
(I got 8 eyes as a kid, which is great, buttt)
Harambe, bitcoin, COVID!
Office work sucks.
"Move away!" I only needed two.
Barium Pupitar Kupfer
Bitcoin, AAPL, 2005
Save your money
Run
Don't fall for it, stay strong, don't cede to temptation
God's not real
Learn Turkish İstanbul