I have been someone that doesnthings and stops before finishing forna long time, and I am sick of myself. I have been almost a year writing a scientific paper, that is not close to being completed. I feel like a loser. Currently waiting on PhD decisions, the last 4 out of 8 (the rest iwas rejected). I am not pessimistic, I believe I'll be accepted, and I am not an idiot. But the last year has brought me so many insecurities.

During the last year, I engaged in complementary activities to be more employable in case I have to get a job in case all applications are rejected. I have been learning C, github workflows, CMake, Rust and docker.

I can use them, though i am no expert in any. I am happy about this, because even though I am a math nerd, I dont like simulations that much, so I though useful to add embedded systems.

I feel fat, ugly and lazy. Though I know I am not. I hope to get news soon, so I can pursue a job, prepare for a pPhD and most importantly... Move out again!