idk where to find friend material, but it's clear those ppl aren't.

These people don't respect you. They're not friends.

Here is a good place to start, but in my (admittedly biased) experience, some hobby groups tend to be more inclusive than others. TTRPGs and rock climbing to name but two.

I hope you find a place where you feel accepted for who you are. Those place exists. Keep looking!

Thanks for posting your post, it resonated with me. I'm a white Canadian male. I experience loneliness or alienation too. Yesterday, was especially alienating. Chump was threatening more war crimes and nuclear war this time. I was on Mastodon, reading posts of people talking rationally about what's going on, feeling some community and connection. Then there was my 'in real life.' I go to a university that espouses social justice yet has never come close to condemning the current US administration, its wars on diversity, science, etc. The people I know and talk to don't talk about what's going on geopolitically. A lot of people I've asked have taken on an "I don't follow the news because it's too depressing" position since Chump returned to office. And several white people in my family have become subtly more racist.

The more the NYT (as an example) wants to abandon journalism to become a placating rag in support of the white supremacist christofascist state Chump and his camp are trying to build - the more knowledgeable of the facts and anti-racist I want to shift too. But people in my family seem to be shifting with the billionaire-controlled descent into propaganda (failing to notice how it's changed) rather than resisting it. It's causing some genuine conflicts between me wanting to love my family members and me wanting nothing to do with them for the views they hold. I haven't yet figured it out.

I've been doing learning about colonialism and anti-Indigenous racism in Canada, which has been really illuminating. But Western leaders' tacit approval of US and/or Israel committing war crimes in Palestine, Gaza, Iran, Lebanon, Cuba, Venezuela - this has really opened my eyes to how much western colonialism and white supremacy are flourishing. It's disgusting.

I have found a couple things to be helpful, which I want to share. I'm a healthcare trainee, and I love it for its realness (health and sickness) in contrast with the BS running the world at the moment. It's surprisingly easy to get along and make friends with decent people at events that only like-minded people would go to. For example, I went to anti-racist event in the fall - the people there were great. Are there any local Indigenous resources, like a community centre, you can check out?

To your immediate question -- I'm guessing there's some activity that's holding you together with these online friends? Difficult to say where to find more tolerable folks without knowing a bit more about how you've met these people so far. My assumption would be that it's a gaming community of some sort, though that's not always the case these days -- if it is though, maybe look for games with less toxic bases. Another thought is that if it is tied to games, many people go there for escapism (even if the idle chatter sometimes veers off-course) -- like my weekly gaming night has a general rule of no politics discussions, cause the doom-feeds are depressing enough. Depending on how often you meet with them, I'd possibly suggest working on filtering your comms a smidge -- you don't necessarily need to share every thought/opinion with friends, especially if the friendship is based more on something frivolous in nature. Again, RL friends may be better for that sort of more fulsome rel.

In terms of them getting offended, I think it's natural that people translate negative discussions about their race from 'others' as being personal attacks, even if there are attempts to phrase things 'politely' (which rarely work, and come off preachy/condescending in most cases). For example, commenting on the history of colonial Canada / the Church's treatment of FN to a newly immigrated white person, often comes off as essentially accusing that person of having a had a hand in the abuses -- FN seem to use 'colonial' as a slur about 'any' white person, even though many/most of them showed up far later than what'd gone on, and their families/histories have nothing to do with it. I guess it'd be somewhat similar, for comparison, to commenting that when white people showed up, FN on the West Coast were well known slavers, or that they didn't really have a form of written language, and how that could be construed as impolite/offensive to someone with that heritage if you constantly brought it up to them. Or if you translated things like DEI practices into authoritarian-imposed state charity for personal disabilities/failures -- "You get preferential hiring treatment/benefits, because FN are statistically poorer, less educated, less productive than other races on aggregate". Even if somewhat accurate, it'd be hard to encounter that sort of comment regularly, and not take it personally if you were a part of that demo. I imagine that's one reason Canada's spent so much effort trying to frame our DEI stuff in a more positive light, shifting almost all accountability off of individuals and on to 'systemic' stuff, heh.