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i once ate some dog shit,

16d 18h ago by lemmy.world/u/Archon_Warslut in lemmyshitpost

i mean, i didnt swallow it, but i sure put it in my mouth and chewed it

the reason why was, i thought it was a browny, because i was a dumbass homeless person, and i was hallucinating,

and it was broad daylight but i was hungry,

and i was going through the trash for food, and i saw it in the bottom of a cup and i thought it was like brownie bites

so i tossed it down

and gave it a chew

but it was dog shit

and i learned some horrible things that i wished i hadnt

oh and it had glass in it, like broken glass, cause i guess the dog had eaten some broken glass

but like, the horrible thing was,

it didnt taste as bad as it smells; it was a mild enough flavor on the inside that it took a few seconds to realize what it was

it almost kindof tasted like food of some kind

ya know it fooled me for like one second until i tasted the glass

anyway it turns out, that shit actually tastes more like the original food than you think, on the inside,

and that bad shit smell is mostly on the outside just from bacteria

i wish i didnt know that

and now ive told you that, because you downvoted my last post 8 times

and this is your punishment

this is your consequence

dont do it again i have worse stories

much worse

(eh i dunno; that ones pretty bad)

maybe thats my worst but you got it

dumbasses

Quality shitpost.

If I downvoted your post then you deserved it

But not for this one. Well written

Recycling to the max!

Sharing is caring though...

a more efficient society

"let them eat shit" marie antoilette

Pics or it didn't happen.

YOURE THE DUMBASSES

WHO I HAVE FELLED

WITH MY SUPERIOR LOGIC

Poser who's never even tasted dog shit says what?

i could give you a mental picture of it. broad daylight, youre going through a nice big public trashcan. lots of respectable people walking by, but youre just going through the trash. also, youre ranting about hella shit. real loud. all kinds of crazy like. and youre real hungry. and ho! theres brownies!!!! mmmm tasty brownies!!! someone left you a brownies in the trash!!!! ump-ump, yummmm..... ummm wai-SPLACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and then, i was so mad, that i said things out loud that i swore i would never say out loud

and then, i was so mad, that i said things out loud that i swore i would never say out loud

"Oh shit"?

"Holy crap"?

Remove my eyes please ಥ_ಥ

You gotta evolve man...

YOUVE BEEN CONSEQUENCED

REAL BAD

YOURE THE DUMBASSSES