tbf, man had a full life. Him being gay is only a part of it, and I'm sure they rate the willingness of recruits in Basic to read up on history as "Bare Minimum" :p

But yeah, Von Steuben spent his early career in the court of Prussian monarch Frederick the Great - also gay, and whose court was famously tolerant of homosexuality (for what should be obvious reasons), but Frederick was old and crotchety at that point, and didn't get along much with the new generation of officers in his own country. Von Steuben is thought to have carried on affairs with some fellow aristocrats during this period.

He spent some of his time, effectively, as an officer-for-hire in the German Principalities. Ben Franklin helped him flee Europe, where he was wanted by one such German Principality for sodomy charges. Von Steuben's aide at the time may have been one of his lovers - a French aide picked up after he fled the German Principality. Ben Franklin, being a swell guy, not only omitted this criminal charge when introducing Von Steuben to Congress, but also inflated his rank to make him seem more appealing as a hire, at a time when the Revolutionary cause was dead-fucking-broke.

When Von Steuben got to Valley Forge, he spent a weekend writing a drill manual in French (he spoke and wrote French, but was more comfortable with German when speaking), so it could be translated to English (he spoke no English initially, but soon picked up English profanity, for which the troops loved him). Valley Forge was also where he met two of the officers who are believed to be his lovers, and whom he designated as his heirs in his will. He formally adopted both of them, a common gesture from gay men at the time, who obviously could not marry, to provide legal ties with the men they loved - especially notable since both of the officers still had living parents, lmao.

Some time after the sharp supply crisis at Valley Forge was over, Von Steuben was noted to have held a party for officers-only. No one attending was allowed to wear clothing. No further comment.

Von Steuben is noted as never having had any affairs with women or marriages, at a time when both were very... near-mandatory. Especially considering that Von Steuben was noted as an extremely cultured man who ran in upper-class circles, handsome, charismatic and likeable, and immensely sociable. For 'some' reason, even after the Revolutionary War, when he was a celebrated hero of the Revolution, he still never made any attempts at courtship with the ladies of American high-society. He remained in contact with both the officers-suspected-to-be-his-lovers after the war, though, as younger men, they did eventually marry women and become 'respectable' members of society. One named two of his sons after Von Steuben.

Von Steuben's live-in secretary after the war, who is also suspected to have had an affair with John Adams' son, is also sometimes considered to have been one of his lovers.