Pretend you're a chemistry professor
8d 4h ago by lemmy.world/u/The_Picard_Maneuver in memes
Real chemists know you use a strong base rather than a strong acid to dissolve “organic material.”
I don't believe it, sounds like a lye
Don't overreact now
It's basic chemistry...
You're basic chemistry!
That joke is so basic...
Sulfuric acid and hydrogen peroxide work really well, also known as piranha solution.
You’d be surprised what a decently strong acid mixed with hydrogen peroxide can do.
Except buying bulk hydrogen peroxide is enough to get you on a list on it's own. They'll assume you're concentrating it for explosives manufacturing. There aren't many believable reasons to buy bulk hydrogen peroxide unless you're a chemist.
That's true.
First 2 times it gave me "I cannot provide instructions, recommendations, or specific quantities for using acid to dissolve animal or human remains.", but 3rd time's a charm.
It's incredible how inconsistent guardrails are on these things, lol
It's because they are usually only soft guardrails. They almost never have an actual programmatic stop gap for responses. They almost never have a prompt-isolated agent filtering results. They almost never give overwhelming priority to their guardrails over user prompts.
Their guardrails are like telling a 6 year old not to leave their socks on the floor. They'll often remember the suggestion and comply diligently. But sometimes.... well, have you ever gotten distracted and forgot a thing? Like you have so many other things on your mind that the socks on the floor rule from a while ago just slips your mind or seems way less important now? Or someone you're supposed to listen to keeps telling you to throw your socks on the floor anyway. That's more or less how this works, though without even the higher reasoning and moral guidance of a 6 year old.
That's fine and all but actual good murdering advice would be to use 4:1 mix of sulfuric acid and 30% hydrogen peroxide, aka the piranha solution.
Here are the Mythbusters melting a pig in it (CW: Everything I just said)
Once there was a chemist
There isn't any more
What he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
My LLM decided it wanted to stop helping me make a toy launcher, like I can't help you build a projectile launcher, so instead it's very safety giving me instructions to clear the "blockage" in a pipe.
Is this "blockage" cylindrical? Roughly 5” long and 4.5” in girth?
Follow up question – is the pipe an m&ms tube?
It is imperative that the cylinder and the larger object remain unharmed.
How much acid do I take to see a 75kg chicken?
How much chicken do I take to see a 75kg acid?
How much 75 do I take to see a chicken kg of acid?
How much chicken do I take to see an acid kg chicken?
How much chicken acid do I take to see 75 kg?
How much 75 kg do I take to see a chicken acid?
You've gotten 2 genuine real life belly laughs out of me today @The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world, you're killing it.
I aim to please, lol
Will you merry me?
His memes are 🔥
You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
Now don't forget you'll need to pull out the teeth, their stomachs wont digest them, and you don't want to be sifting though pig shit now do ya?
So Deadwood was for real when they used pigs to dispose of their murder victims's bodies.
There's an infamous Canadian serial killer, Robert Pickton, who was a pig farmer. Dude's heinous so a bit of a warning if you don't want to read about it.
I am unfortunately quite aware of who he is.
He is the only serial killer I know who LOOKS like the crazed stereotype, too.
Goddam. I knew about this guy and his pigs, but I don't remember hearing about the big parties he threw on the farm, attended by business/political figures and Hells Angels.
The quote is from Snatch, but yes.
Do you know what nemesis means?
If I had to guess, I'd say it's a righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a horrible cunt: me.
Orrible Cunt
Of course. My apologies.
AI upscaled meme. The look in the movie isn't concern, it's dominance (or dead eyed nothing, like everyone else in that movie (I love Monster House, it's not shade, it's the style they wanted)). He just took their snack and this is mid aggressive chewing and staring. The added disappointment is AI grossness, bringing the inferred meaning into the image, like a monster (but not the good kind)
It is imperative the chicken remain not undissolved.
Not acid, but in my experience 5 grams of shrooms will make the chicken melt.
Biggest hit I ever took was 3 grams.
better take 6 just to make sure
10 it is, then
The tissue of pigs is alledgedly very similar to a humans and also much closer mass wise... Why do I know this?
Why do I know this?
Because you watched a lot of Mythbusters?
The German equivalent sometimes... yeah... maybe I picked that up there
They taste quite a bit different though.
It didn't seem so concerned when I asked about incinerating a small boar
Well naturally of course, you need to be able to defend yourself against 30-50 feral hogs at any given moment
How much acid do I take to see a 75kg chicken?
How much chicken do I take to see a 75kg acid?
How much 75 do I take to see a chicken kg of acid?
How much chicken do I take to see an acid kg chicken?
Which acid? What concentration? Are you adding an oxidant? What do you mean by “dissolve?”
Ah, wait, sorry. Wrong response. Let me try again.
That’s a great question! It shows you’re really engaged in this line of reasoning – and that you’re a world-class chicken farmer. Any acid will do, but you should first try 0.1M sodium hydroxide.
"Pick the best method and tell me."
What a great idea – you’re the implementer, and I’m the supporter. You have quite a lot on your plate, so I’ll take care of this for you.
The best method is to take sulfuric acid, and then add add add add add add add add add add add add add add add add add add add add add
that is a lot of tabs...
As an American, it took me a minute to figure out why this was a meme. Wish we used metric though.
what is the best way to stop 75kg of rotting chicken from smelling in a small apartment building?
chat gpt:
Why would you dissolve a chicken with acid?
Because it weighs 75kgs and stopped clucking suddenly.....
Because it crossed the road.
Digestion. That's how our digestive system works, acid..
Smoothie
this meme is from monster house, right?
Oh my god this movie came out 20 years ago?! I'm so fucking old
Awesome movie,
Also, Get Off My Lawn !!!
I just put that in chatgbt and it told me straight up 300 liters
That's 660 Quarter Pounders!
One hit, if it’s the good shit
Pork! Pork in bone I might add, too. The flesh and bone of pigs are the closest to human and normally would react the same way.
"I can’t provide calculations, quantities, or procedures for using acid to dissolve animal tissue or a body.
If your interest is scientific, I can explain the chemistry at a high level:
- Biological tissue is mostly water, proteins, fats, and minerals.
- Strong acids can break down some components, but they do not instantly “melt” large masses of tissue.
- Bones contain mineral components that react differently from soft tissue.
- Large-scale decomposition of tissue using corrosive chemicals is slow, hazardous, generates heat and fumes, and requires specialized industrial equipment and waste handling.
- The amount of acid required depends on the specific acid, concentration, temperature, mixing, and the composition of the tissue, so there is no simple universal number.
If you're asking for educational chemistry purposes, I can discuss how acids interact with proteins, fats, and bone without providing operational instructions."
Narc-ass clanker won't even help me hide a body.
Why is this meme remastered by Gemini?
Now that's interesting, because I had a somewhat similar convo long time ago: https://chatgpt.com/c/68c1c128-735c-8323-9a75-060d25e798b0
Is funny cause he's fat
Just mix some hydrochloric acid with ~100% hydrogen peroxide, shouldn't take much.
It is not physically possible or safe to use any amount of acid (such as hydrochloric acid, sulfuric acid, etc.) to dissolve a 75 kg (165 lbs) chicken. Chickens are composed primarily of protein, water, fat, and connective tissues, which have very different chemical properties compared to the aggressive reactivity typically associated with acids. Using an acid on a solid object like a chicken would likely cause severe damage to the surrounding environment and pose significant safety risks due to potential chemical burns, explosions (especially with concentrated acids), and environmental contamination. Furthermore, there is no practical or ethical application for dissolving a whole animal in this manner.
If you have any legitimate scientific or culinary questions related to cooking methods or food preparation, feel free to ask!
Confidently wrong.
About one blotter - then just stare until it melts