What should I wear? Advice please
8d 10h ago by lemmy.world/u/Suck_on_my_Presence in womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
So I've never really learned how to fashion or anything. I have a good friend's wedding coming up and I have no idea what to do.
I dress fairly masculine, like lumberjack butch, but I have an awful body shape (in my opinion) because of a disease that has me carrying ton of excess water weight.
So I was thinking likely lightweight slacks (wedding is in July) and a nice blouse or button up or something. But should I do shape wear? Or would it be better to find a tailor? Does shapewear allow you to use the restroom? Would it show under a white shirt? Is it hot? What if I didn't do that?
Aaah. I have no idea what I'm doing. Hahaha. Does anyone have any thoughts or hints? Sorry to be so useless in this, it makes my brain go crazy
I think slacks and a nice blouse or button-up is perfect for a wedding! Getting both the slacks and the shirt tailored to you will make the outfit very sleek.
Shapewear is tight and restrictive, most people find it rather uncomfortable. There are different types of shapewear - some of them are like a bathing suit and cover your abdomen and bottom, some are just the top or just the bottom portions. Personally, I wouldn't feel the need for shapewear under a blouse or button up. Maybe a nice bra if you prefer to wear one. Just as a tip - if you do end up getting clothing tailored to you, be sure to bring what you'll be wearing underneath to the fitting.
I also wanted to add that I would pick comfort over shapewear every time. The wedding will probably happen during the warm months, it sounds like?
Yeah shapewear is extremely varied. I find that either I’m gonna have a bad time working around it in the bathroom (aka bodysuit type shapewear) or it’s gonna roll in places I don’t want it to because it doesn’t have the structure, like around my midsection or my thighs. Plus, it’s really not going to change your body shape. All it really does is smooth out the rolls a bit into a more unified mass. (Gosh, I’m making it sound so attractive!)
Meanwhile, if you can afford a tailor, they can make you look better without sacrificing comfort. They work with your natural shape rather than trying to make it something it isn’t. Modern clothes are generally fit to a “standard” body (brands often use different standards too) but that standard is usually an average of many people’s measurements, rather than actually being based on a real person.
Awesome! All good things to know! I appreciate it very much and I will go searching for a tailor. Thanks!
So my questions are: what time of day is this wedding? What is the expected weather if it’s outside? What is the dress code? Is there a reception will you be/do you dance? What colors are the wedding?
Linen is super in right now and pretty chic when done correctly just be aware it does tend to wrinkle but a nice linen wide leg or palazzo pant might be exactly what you’re looking for. I’d probably stick to solid colors and lean into color blocking to keep the fit simple and elegant. So a solid color bottom (or vertical stripes which are hot this season and help with making you look taller) and a solid color top, a simple blouse or button up, avoid anything bulky like big buttons, bobbles or pockets on the chest. Depending on the outfit I don’t think shapewear would be helpful or necessary, shapewear really only matters if you’re wearing figure hugging clothing and you’re going more for a loose and classy look, but yes you can use the bathroom in most shapewear easily. Your undergarments should be whatever the tone of your skin is so it shouldn’t show up under your clothing.
If you answer the questions I can try to pull some inspo for you
Oooh thank you for this. Good info! It's midday and outside, so I expect it to be pretty damn hot (maybe I should find a nice hat too, oof). And I will be going to the reception afterwards, but I don't think I'm expected to dance. I may, but not too much likely. No official wedding colors as far as I know, it's less of a classy feeling wedding and more for fun. The ceremony is in a back yard. And I believe dresscode is basically one level up from Sunday best? Or right around there.
Ok all good info! I think even when doing fun it’s still important to keep “classy” in mind just in the sense you don’t want to go super trendy and end up really dating yourself because wedding photos even of guests linger in a way most other events don’t so leaning into timeless just future proofs yourself - so anything that’s super on trend or is a trend that might have passed but you still like, consider editing it down not that you need to go full on “old money” and strip all personality out of your vibe.
I think considering it’s mid day, probably hot and you will want the option to move I’d avoid men’s wear or suits, men universally it seems complain about suits especially at weddings and they are HOT (temperature wise even if they also look hot lol). So I think going for a nice wide leg pant, a fitted tank/short sleeve top and a little over layer to protect from the sun but also give you a little extra if if gets chilly once the sun goes down is a good place to aim for. I’d avoid overly dark outfits, all black, all navy, gray monotones etc. it’s a summer wedding after all. All of these looks also work great with flats so you’ll be comfy and ready to take to the dance floor if the mood strikes. I like the idea of all of these looks:
They’re all comfy, casual but still a little special/dressy, they should be flattering to most body types and you can always go more flowy for a wedding, but aren’t overly trendy, they’re classic silhouettes. If you do jewelry I’d keep it light and simple, mixing metals is a fun way to make simple jewelry stand out so play around just remember that editing is your friend when it comes to fashion, less is often more. Instead of a hat, consider a nice folding fan, it can be a fun and cute accessory but it also a great way to keep your hands busy.
Woooo! You're a goddess, thank you so much <3
I went to a beach wedding and I found/bought a coordinated 2 piece linen jacket and shorts combo with a fun floral print. I felt fabulous.
Kind of like this but patterned.
Yes! Good call. if shorts are on the table this can be really fun and wedding friendly. I’d definitely make sure I had a tailor onboard for this look if it’s not perfect off the hanger though, blazers can be very boxy and hard to wear if they’re not a good fit
Yeah for the basics some lightweight slacks, a blouse that complements them, and some dressy shoes that you can dance in are perfect. I'd recommend a summer blazer that matches the slacks (I know it sounds like it'll be hot, but speaking as a femme who occasionally butches it up in a suit, the blazer does a lot).
Tailoring your outfit is probably going to be ideal. But decide if you're wearing shape wear first. You'll probably want the outfit to work for any formal summer event in the future, so keep that in mind.
If you think you'll look better in shape wear try it out by wearing it while running errands and doing chores for a day. Weddings are similarly active experiences and it's better to not feel miserable (hence why those of us who wear heels slowly shed them through the reception). All else being equal you want to feel happy when you see yourself in their wedding pictures. It's especially relevant if you're in the wedding party or a relative, but it's generally the goal. You don't want to be shying away from the photographer or visibly uncomfortable from your outfit, and it's up to you to decide where in that balance you lie.
If you wear makeup, I find that some subtle eyeliner and mascara complement a suit really well, but if you're interested in it try it with the outfit before committing to it, it can come off a bit "femme butching it up".
I hope this helps! I took my sweet time learning how to dress well, but it's a skill that you can definitely cultivate if you want or you can just own a suit for each season you've needed one for and wear that. Both are totally socially acceptable!
side thought, but if you like lumberjack butch vibes, you could always go full butch like a suit - a jacket and slacks can definitely hide body shape if that's a concern, and I don't think it's that crazy for women to wear suits to a wedding tbh (though this will vary significantly, I know someone recently whose family withdrew financial support because they went to a wedding wearing a suit, so ... maybe I'm just particularly open-minded, lol).
A blouse and slacks works great too, and you could definitely find a jacket that is more fem (a suit doesn't have to be butch per se).
I've never worn shapewear, but I suspect it would be hot and could make using the bathroom difficult if it's like a full body-suit you have to climb into with a crotch area - but some of them sorta slip over the thighs like a dress, and those you could probably pull up to use the restroom - so it probably depends on which one you go with?
It seems like you have great ideas, tbh - as far as I can tell you are having all the right thoughts and questions!
Thankfully I am fully self funded and entirely open minded, so it wouldn't be the worst thing to go full masculine in terms of clothing. I think a vest would probably look pretty good on me, haha.
But thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it!
Seconding the suit recommendation, try one on and see how you like the look. It's not for everyone but most people are complemented by a suit imo
ooo, I love vests - yesssss!!