Bipolar Check-in June 11th 26
5d 23h ago by lemmy.world/u/Zerlyna in bipolardisorder
It’s been a bit… How is everyone doing?
pretty bad actually. in summary, i got in an accident on my bicycle and while i was recuperating i relapsed. i have been off my meds and out of school for over a month now. i was supposed to start summer school this month, nope. i need to file a claim with the at-fault party's insurance, nope. go to the gym, cook good healthy food, and save a bunch of money? no fuck you sit at home in a vegetative isolation and order food 2-3x /day. cant seem to bring myself to take my pills and when i do they dont seem to snap me out of it, ig the weed is just that much stronger than the lithium. between going from the bicycle to sedentation and the huge excess of basically fast food ive put on something like 15 lbs. its not good at all and im struggling to find a way to care in the worst way possible. total executive dysfunction. im pretty fukt up rn, fr fr, no cap.
oh no!! I’ve never had lithium, when I was in the hospital the first time another patient was on it and she slept almost 24/7! It was scary. I’ve had that slump you are in before. I’m still working on my tax filing from three years ago. 🙃 I also hate to cook, and I try to buy a premade salad for myself and my teenage minion for ONE healthy meal a week (and low cost!). Next semester we might bump that up to two. Maybe that can be a start for you too?
❤️
Dr retired suddenly for health reasons, so I'm off my meds until I can find a replacement prescriber. It's been going better than it could be, my partner has been ensuring I actually eat food and my bills are all paid, buuuuut: I have no idea how I'm going to eat the 5kg of Linguica sausage I in my fridge, the mirror glaze is not setting on my disney recipe recreation mini cakes and that means I Am A Failure and the xfinity tech got really tired of me bugging him with questions about the fiber rollout process while he tried to work...
oh and my new 3D printer cost more than my car and gets here monday. Thats gonna be a fun one to justify.
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Ohhh 3d printers will be fun!!
I'm hoping I can come up with something so neat to print off that it'll completely distract from ever having to have the "how much did this cost/how could you possibly need another printer" conversation.... But I'm pretty hyped for the printer itself. Should be real neat.
I love a good distraction!
Ugh. Finding a new doctor, even just for med management took me months. I called dozens, and so many were no longer practicing, or had been rolled into a local mega practice that has hoops to jump through and limited slots. I found a published solo doctor by chance, but he doesn't accept insurance, and it's $300 each 15 min visit. Thankfully, he doesn't charge when we go over by 45 min.
It's good that you have a supportive partner. Mine is propping me up big time lately. In grateful. Trust me: those cakes taste good, no matter how the glaze sets up! Whenever my wife and I watch baking competitions, we agree we'd east the ones that don't win. Stodgy? Claggy? Gooey! 😋 Forget that Xfinity tech! My FTTH install was the same. You pay for installation. Might as well get some info! Now get some cool STL files (is 3D printing still done from STL files?) and get ready to print some cool stuff!
I had a bad time driving the other night and realized I need to be more aware of his the meds are testing me before I drive next time. I curb rashed a perfectly good wheel. 😠AI is making everything dumb and more expensive, and nvidia's CEO thinks we all should have a $10k "agentic computer" for our AI assistants who hand purchasing power and their own (not our) computer. My lifelong love of computer tech is being tested by this stupid AI craze.
But, all things considered, I am in a good place. Ish.
Today is my 🍰 day here on .world, and I go spend the day with my son to celebrate his HS graduation in a few hours. His graduation marked the last time I have to see his mother before his wedding or first child. That's huge to me. My hypo is fading. The side effects of the meds are too (at least for now, at early titration levels), and maybe they'll stay that way. My wife is mega-supportive, and even my emotionally-stunted mom seems to be sympathetic and understanding. My friends in Belize and I just reconnected yesterday and are planning a visit (me going there, as coming to the USA is too scary for even 🇺🇸 citizens, and they're not that).
I was mindful before, but Bipolar is making me pause and think even more about how everything I do feels and affects others. That can only be good, I think.
My niece (I have custody) is coming home Thursday after I dropped her off with family a few weeks ago. It’s been nice having a bit more time for self care. As well as a few hours of OT at work each week. 🤣