I can't get anything done. Either I get overwhelmed, distracted by absolutely anything, or suddenly loose interest in everything. The only thing that helps is fear from approaching deadline.
19h 48m ago by lemmy.sdf.org/u/user224 in rant@lemmy.sdf.org
This feels odd to explain, but there's 4 main scenarios:
1. There's too much stuff I have to do
I just get overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. What do I do first? I must start right away, but how?
If I pick one thing to do first, the knowledge of other ones keeps taking my focus, and I just end up doing nothing and panicking.
2. There's just something I have to do
Absolutely anything will suddenly seem interesting. I am supposed to study math?
How about getting back to Meteor LRPT reception? What about checking out the TETRA signal in your location? Installing Proxmox on a laptop, sure thing. Yes, now is the time to read datasheet of NTAG NFC tags and try out manually sending the commands in hexadecimal. What's math, let's start studying railroad regulations. Meshcore? Hell yeah, let's join the network.
etc...
3. There's nothing to do
Sounds like the time for my interests. But now, nothing comes to mind. Nothing sounds interesting. Absolutely nothing. I don't want to waste time, yet at the same time I don't want to... anything.
Even just getting dressed up feels like dragging my soul across sharp rocks.
4. Deadline is approaching FAAAAAAAST
Oddly, in some way the best scenario. I can finally get myself to be productive, and it even feels good. I see what I did, I see I spent the time well, I can focus.
One good example, an assignment I managed to do shortly before deadline. I put in 16 hours at once, only leaving to the toilet. I finished it at 4am before waking up at 7am, yet, I felt satisfied.
However, one "bad" thing that can happen here is "deadline extended by one week" if I cannot manage it. Suddenly, I loose that feeling of urgency, and slip back into scenario 2.
Bonus: Everything is a distraction.
I occasionally see people recommend putting your phone away, disabling notifications, etc...
Cool, cool.
However, I often get distracted by things like... the pen and paper. Look at that beautiful ink being transferred to the sheet of paper.
But hell, you can remove any physical objects, but you can't remove thoughts. I am listening, I am focused, and oh fuck, there goes a 10 minute imaginary conversation.
OK, I need to do better. Focus, listen, read, think, focus, listen, read,... great, I am focusing on focusing itself.
And lastly, ever heard of /dev/null? My brain pipes to it fairly often. Past 5 minutes? Never heard of them.
I can re-read something 3 times, and just immediately forget what the hell that was.
I can think of something, make the slightest physical movement, and it's gone.
I can listen to someone, process it, answer, immediately forget what I just answered to.
See a therapist, you've got ADHD.
Therapist will likely be easier/quicker intake but a psychiatrist for diagnostic evaluation and medication management is even more important IMO.
Fair, I just went with the route I went. I dunno about where you live but apparently my PCP can do it too. I'd just feel like there would have been a lot more trial and error that way. Still working on it but it's only been about 2 weeks on 20 mg Adderall.
Dont get me wrong; a therapist is absolutely necessary. Everyone should have a therapist, especially therapists.
In some places/hospital networks a PCP can handle med management. I'd still advise meeting with a psychiatrist for evaluation/diagnosis to provide a more complete understanding of the patient. ADHD has a lot of comorbid conditions and a PCP may lack the specialized education to sort them out.
Stimulants are, in my (and medical professional) opinion, an essential baseline medication for ADHD. They provide a 10% reduction in all causes of death within the ADHD population. There are vanishingly few medications that reduce overall death rate in a population. I'm glad you're on that track!
This could be in a medical textbook as an illustration of the patient perspective of ADHD ...
You and me both.
Getting something done to a sub-par level but with a reasonable amount of effort and time is better than doing something perfectly with an immense amount of effort and time spent.
Sometimes we just need to do the thing, and not worry so much how well we are doing it. Most things, we will be terrible and slow at until we do it repetitively to learn more efficient methods.
Sweeping and picking up the house used to be terrible for me, now its mindless and somewhat relaxing. Ive done it so many times it takes zero mental effort anymore.
Be patient and forgiving with yourself, and manage your expectations if you can. We can be incredibly hard on ourselves.
Edit: also be careful comparing yourself to others! Especially with people in this post mentioning ADHD, you will find people who are taking stimulants to push their productivity, which I personally think is short-sighted and unhealthy.
Echoing everyone else, that sounds like classic ADHD. Lotsa different effects of executive dysfunction and hyperfixation, with a little forgetfulness at the end. Talk to your doctor.