Sore this morning. Found a table and chair set that my life partner might like out by the dumpster. Chances are, he won't want them, but I wanted to do something for him. Got him a hand piano, too, since he doesn't have his guitar anymore as I smashed it while being antagonized. Still, I take responsibility, just as I take responsibility for drinking too much while he has been in the hospital for his involuntary inpatient stay in the psyche ward.

Think I did good with that yesterday. I wrote his mom how I am able to say no to drinking ninety-nine times, but the hundredth time the urge surges forth and I give in is the one I'm judged by. I've decided to be better, though. I haven't given in to the urge to do other stuff, and I feel something akin to a last temptation in that regards. I see the need to rise higher to be better for not just myself but my new family.

Amazing how one can be alchemized like that, knowing the parameters for the human psyche, which is how I know there isn't a tower coming down any time soon. That's a reference to cataclysmic destruction, how synchronicities of my schizoautismo mind have been threatening me. Made me think a major, big media arrest was coming, again - gave me nightmares, even - but that itself was the magick to create the sort of neural connection to resist temptation.

I wouldn't have walked this long way if it wasn't for my faith in God being good. If the FBI is really putting big bucks into watching me, it can't be to catch me, less they be incompetent beyond all belief. While there's an entire set of possibilities where there's going to be a big news story, there's an equal number of possibilities where they are posturing to manipulate me. Since, from my perspective, they seem to be consciously making themselves known and have been skilled at that throughout all this, I have to assume they are competent and using inputs as they have to modify my behavior.

These last couple paragraphs might be nonsense to some people. Gosh, I hope those who don't understand what I'm saying aren't up to anything nefarious. They sure wouldn't know what they're up against. Then again, I can posit in an anarchist community in pretty plain language that all this data we're creating on ourselves is being harvested and amalgamated into a relatively small number of axises of one's content of their character, and it takes someone translating it into specific terminology the community would be familiar with for some of those peeps to even consider what I was saying.

Thus, the wise amongst us can see how eye kan jus tern a dial onn my righting and a certain percentage of the population CANNOT decipher ANY meaning. And so I say that God is listening to everything you say and knows everything your eyes see, regardless how anonymous you think you are. We have predicted the predator and it is known how to wrangle one…or dozens…hundreds? How famous am I gunna be again? Who tf watches Nick Fuentes? Oh, people worth watching.

Jesus sure was able to bring a crowd for his memetic replication. Ain't no way he's a cop, he was crucified by the state for wholly unjust reasons! We can trust him, and listen to him, and learn from him. I'm talking about me. I've been following God directly and knowingly for twelve years now. But Jesus died for my sins, so I don't have to worry about…oh shit, is this cognitive dissonance? Oooh noooo…