Pete Hegseth Shaking With Rage After Imagining Plus-Sized Astronaut
18d 2h ago by piefed.ca/u/ZeroCool in theonion@sh.itjust.works from theonion.com
WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly angry and pacing his office, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly shaking with rage Tuesday after imagining a plus-sized astronaut. “Ugh, it makes me fucking sick to think about some fatass floating through space making Americans look like pathetic slobs,” said Hegseth, a large vein pulsating across his beet-red forehead as he […]
This is actually a very fair point - given the cost of launching even a single kilo of cargo into space is astronomical (hah!), we should be seeking out only the lightest individuals to be astronauts. So, pretty much an all-female crew!