RFK Jr. Announces Microdosing Death Caps as Measles Cure, Scientists Briefly Forget How to Speak
6d 11h ago by quokk.au/u/Dispassionate in theonion@sh.itjust.works from disreport.com
Scientists warn Americans not to eat death cap mushrooms after US government recommends them as medicine, while church leaders and poison control centers report record levels of public engagement.
Wow didn't notice the sub I was on and totally believed it... It really wouldn't surprise me with this administration.
Sigh… same. I read it and thought “yep, that checks out.”
I’m tired, boss.
I came to the comments thinking "hopefully someone is saying why this is a terrible idea!" And found out how hard I ate the onion...
Life imitates art.
At this point, go ahead. Anyone idiotic enough to eat Death Caps as a "cure" for anything would be helping the gene pool.
When this is over we will just charge him and everyone supporting with the inevitable deaths.
This is actually less stupid than some of RFK Jrs ideas. Anything is a poison at a large enough dose, and a lot of poisons are medicines at small doses.
If you consumed a death cap by cutting off and eating a milligram everyday you probably wouldn't even notice side effects.
Show us , do the test for 4 years
I can barely remember to make my normal meds in the chaos of morning, ain't no way I am finding the time to take an exacto knife to a mushroom and reweigh something a half dozen times until it's about the right weight. Have you ever tried to weigh a milligram? It's a pain in the ass.
Just like with Obama and Biden, the Democrats will pardon them all, "to come together and heal as a nation"
By this adminiatrations logic, that means the disease didnt kill them, right? They solved measles!
Gotta start looking at the sub before reading the title.
Almost lost my eyebrows in my hairline with that.
It’s hard to tell the difference between onion flavored reality and actual onions.
“It can even kill stupidity,” Granger proclaimed. “In large enough doses.”
Satire or not, I can see gravel gullet promoting the "medicinal qualities" of something with "death" literally right there in the name.
We’re going to have to start investigating unicorns and alien abductions to get far enough away from the absurdity of this reality.
We should start a GoFundMe for a million dollars to give to whomever donates that can convince that idiot that they've got a real unicorn horn.
Idk man this sub is kinda pointless nowadays because all these fake headlines are just not more ridiculous than the real ones. Like what's funny about this? RFK has literally made dozens of dumber announcements, there's just nothing funny about a fake headline that is less fucked up than what's actually happening IRL.
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